Do I let it go?

  • TheRealB

    Posts: 16

    May 08, 2015 4:54 AM GMT
    Hey guys, so I feel so stupid for making a profile and saying this, but I need opinions.

    So basically, I met this guy at a party and he was really nice. We talked a few times that night and it was nice to talk to someone new as I moved countries and ever since I've been here, I don't know many people and would love to make new friends. This guy seems really cool, like a good friend. For now, I just want friends...I think icon_lol.gif

    Anyway, ever since the party I've been like continuously thinking about this person, I think I've been so caught up with him because I feel like he was really cool and I'm missing out on a good friendship.

    I saw him once after the party in the street, we said hi, but I was extremely awkward, I feel like he probably sees me now as some strange weirdo etc, I just wasn't feeling that day icon_rolleyes.gif

    About 3 weeks ago, my friend and I threw a get together and we invited him, he said he was coming etc (we made a 3 way chat), but the day came and he said he couldn't make it and that he felt bad, and we should catch up another time. I was so annoyed, it was my chance to get to know him and prove I'm not awkward hahaha, but I said no problem.

    The next day, he messages, asks how the night was, and I said it was okay blah blah, hey, we should catch up soon. He said "Yes of course!" so I was like yay, I'm free on blah blah. Well, you know facebook, all I got was "read by everyone". 2 weeks later, it still says "read by everyone". (By everyone, it's him and my friend as it's a 3 way chat)

    Okay so, I want to know, should I give up? Would it be weird if I messaged him personally? I feel like he's not actually interested, he's got his friends and he's not looking for more friends... I don't know, but I can't stop thinking about this.

    I want to message him, but I feel weird just messaging him, the fact he didn't reply makes me think he probably see's me as odd, or isn't interested, and for me to message him would be annoying or strange.

    Should I let it go and try and move on? Or should I message him? What would I even say? Is it weird to message someone you barely know (that you met at a party) and hope to get to know them and catch up?

    Thanks if you read this far, it's a bloody essay haha sorry

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 08, 2015 5:43 AM GMT
    Hey there, so, as I was reading your story I couldn't help but feel like this was a scenario right out of my days in College.

    By the way he seems to interact with you, to be brutally honest, he does not seem interested. However, this would not stop me by simply asking the guy out. What is really there to lose?

    There are a few things I did pick up while reading your story, is that you need to do things with more conviction. When you said things like "I'm not awkward, hahah" that to me shows that that was very much awkward. That to me shows very low confidence, which is understandable when it comes to people we fancy, however, you should never, ever make anyone make you feel like you are less then them just because you're interested. They're people too, and they are no more or less special then you are.

    For me I would ask the guy out for coffee, or ask if he had dinner already that night? but none of this giggling, ask him as a man- straight up, honest, and who knows he might see you in a different light.

    Best of luck!

  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 901

    May 08, 2015 6:57 AM GMT
    In love and war...

    I agree here with Varus.

    Nope. The dude is not really bursting with interest in making friends of any kind with you!

    Yup. Life usually favors the brave. Send him a clear cut invite for coffees/drinks to catch up. Do not invite anyone else. Get your chance to tell him that you are interested in hanging out with him a bit. Do not be overwhelming, but state your cause very clearly, and be prepared to face whatever comes afterwards.

    Do not play the awkward card. A few young dudes develop some awkward aspect to draw attention to themselves, and become a subject of conversation. When it comes to the real life benefits, being awkward may not be your best bet.

    A few groups will have no problem embracing an awkward dude or two. A month later, the fashion will change, and the awkward dude will be looking a bit tired, and hardly any novelty anymore. When it comes to their own private lives, even the most pro-alternative dudes tend to turn rather conservativeicon_smile.gif

  • Yiscard

    Posts: 30

    May 08, 2015 8:10 PM GMT
    To be fully honest, i don't think there was anything to "let go" in the first place.

    Sometimes, when we like someone, our mind tricks us into believing things that are not there. To you, it might have seen like he looked at you a certain way, or even implied something. We stop being in the present and start daydreaming and over analyzing things that aren't even happening.

    Sounds to me like he was just being friendly. To him, it was just a normal conversation. You liked him, and started to over think things. It happens to all of us. My best advice is to just let it go. Don't try to keep him around, if he likes your friendship he will look for you. To keep trying is just going to hurt you.
  • glowstik

    Posts: 150

    May 08, 2015 9:38 PM GMT
    You do have to "let it go" any situation where your mind is focusing on just one person is called "scarcity" (feeling like he is "the one").

    It's not a healthy start to a real connection. Many of us have and are dealing with this.
  • mybud

    Posts: 14221

    May 10, 2015 12:52 AM GMT
    Yes give up...True friendship are like's automatic.
  • otterlover92

    Posts: 16

    May 14, 2015 11:03 AM GMT
    Are you sure that both of your intentions match? Are you honestly just looking for a friend in this guy or something more? If you dig this guy as much as it seems, then you should definitely message him another time. Don't go stalker mode, but he could feel like messaging you would make him the "weirdo". I can only imagine how many relationships have never happened because both parties didn't want to come off as "weird". People are so strange...