How do you find a guy at the gym without necessarily looking?

  • Kromethius

    Posts: 156

    May 12, 2015 12:13 AM GMT
    I'm not the type to go around and stare but I've always felt that finding a guy at the gym would be the best thing since we'd have similar lifestyles. However, it seems like all the guys at the gym are straight or hide their true sexuality very well and I can't seem to tell if a guy is gay or not or interested in me. Do you guys have any tips for approaching or finding guys at the gym? FYI: I go to college at Texas A&M in college station where its extremely conservative but only here for electrical engineering.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    May 12, 2015 7:33 AM GMT
    Honestly, if the place you live in is as conservative as you say it is, it'll be a little challenging but one surefire thing you can try is when you have free time at the Gym. just turn on your Grindr and see if you recognize a familiar face. At lease that way, you'd know if the guy was gay/bisexual or not instead of biting the bullet.
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    May 13, 2015 3:43 PM GMT
    I met my boyfriend at the gym, but we train at one of the gayest gyms in one of the gayest cities in the US (San Francisco!), so it was pretty easy to assume he was gay. You're probably right not to stare, but I do think that eye contact is important. Be friendly, even if that means just giving a bro-nod to the guys you find interesting. Eventually that might lead to a conversation.
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    May 13, 2015 4:13 PM GMT
    Try finding some "discreet" gay T-shirts to wear. One's that says "gay" to another friend of Dorothy, but mean nothing to clueless straight guys.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    May 13, 2015 5:12 PM GMT
    HikerSkier saidTry finding some "discreet" gay T-shirts to wear. One's that says "gay" to another friend of Dorothy, but mean nothing to clueless straight guys.

    This is a good idea. I'm not looking to hook up but because this area is so conservative, no gay bars or even cruisey areas, it can get a bit lonely for gay guys so I'd like to acknowledge another gay guy if we're in the same gym. I carry a water bottle with the logo of a New Orleans gay club (everyone here goes to NoLa) though no one has commented so far. Maybe it's too subtle. It's tough to make contact at the gym because the vast majority of guys, gay or straight, really don't want to chat or do anything other than work out. I'm the same. I don't even talk much to my partner other than to spot when asked. Isn't there a campus gay association?
  • Sincityfan

    Posts: 409

    May 13, 2015 5:59 PM GMT
    HikerSkier saidTry finding some "discreet" gay T-shirts to wear. One's that says "gay" to another friend of Dorothy, but mean nothing to clueless straight guys.

    31buPgKCH1L._SL500_SR154,200_.jpg

    Doesn't say you're gay- per say- just gay friendly...great bigot repellent.
  • Relajado

    Posts: 410

    May 13, 2015 10:46 PM GMT
    SF79 saidI met my boyfriend at the gym, but we train at one of the gayest gyms in one of the gayest cities in the US (San Francisco!), so it was pretty easy to assume he was gay. You're probably right not to stare, but I do think that eye contact is important. Be friendly, even if that means just giving a bro-nod to the guys you find interesting. Eventually that might lead to a conversation.

    Hate gym terminology like 'bro nod' It's a nod.
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    May 14, 2015 2:52 AM GMT
    Relajado saidHate gym terminology like 'bro nod' It's a nod.


    Well, not to differ, but "bro nod" is basically the wordless version of "'sup" that involves only the muscles used to tilt your chin upward one inch. A "nod" has more facial muscles involved (eyebrows and lip corners), and the head chin tilts upwards slower and more than an inch. You'll know the difference when an actual bro does it to you.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    May 14, 2015 3:27 AM GMT
    Try joining a gay exclusive gym.
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    May 14, 2015 7:23 AM GMT
    Just tell folks you're gay; fire up Grindr / other gay apps...wear a shirt that is from a known gay place, or a shirt that says "No one knows I'm gay." I know several guys that proudly wear Grindr tshirts. Unless you're unaccepting of whom you are...feel free to let folks know you're gay. It makes it a breeze.

    Once you bring integrity into the game...it's super easy.

    I'd guess on any given day, fully 1/3 of the gym members are gay..in ANY gym...and 1/2 are bi, and, the vast majority are open minded. Just tell folks. Not once in 20 years in Dallas, and 5 years in Phoenix, has that been a problem. NOT ONCE. MAN UP. In fact, I've met many gay folks when I tell them I'm gay. They say, "I'm gay, too."

    Don't confuse "conservative" with bigoted.

    Like yourself first, and the rest will follow.
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    May 14, 2015 7:45 AM GMT
    Sincityfan said
    HikerSkier saidTry finding some "discreet" gay T-shirts to wear. One's that says "gay" to another friend of Dorothy, but mean nothing to clueless straight guys.

    31buPgKCH1L._SL500_SR154,200_.jpg

    Doesn't say you're gay- per say- just gay friendly...great bigot repellent.

    Ah, I want this t-shirt. But I doubt many people outside of USA would even get it.
  • secondstartot...

    Posts: 1314

    May 14, 2015 9:12 AM GMT
    yeah the problem with so called straight acting is if you get it right people will believe you

    I always got plenty of action at the gym I went to ...because I never hid my desire
    if people dont want to be stared at then they shouldn't workout so much
    ok maybe thats a bit churlish ...but there is some truth to it

    and 90 % of the time I could spot the ones who thought they were straight acting ...simply because acting straight is not the same as being straight ...and what they are actually doing is acting all insular

    in a similar way...on "acting" there was a guy at my gym who I knew was gay and he was quite out ...and I thought he was absolutely gorgeous hot body seriously ...hot ... and I thought there is no way I stand a chance ...so I threw on my " I do not know you exist " routine .... this went on a while until I had left the country and found him by accident on Facebook ...TURNS OUT he thought I was cute but in his words " I had no idea you were interested "

    true story !
  • Kromethius

    Posts: 156

    May 14, 2015 6:50 PM GMT
    chuckystud saidJust tell folks you're gay; fire up Grindr / other gay apps...wear a shirt that is from a known gay place, or a shirt that says "No one knows I'm gay." I know several guys that proudly wear Grindr tshirts. Unless you're unaccepting of whom you are...feel free to let folks know you're gay. It makes it a breeze.

    Once you bring integrity into the game...it's super easy.

    I'd guess on any given day, fully 1/3 of the gym members are gay..in ANY gym...and 1/2 are bi, and, the vast majority are open minded. Just tell folks. Not once in 20 years in Dallas, and 5 years in Phoenix, has that been a problem. NOT ONCE. MAN UP. In fact, I've met many gay folks when I tell them I'm gay. They say, "I'm gay, too."

    Don't confuse "conservative" with bigoted.

    Like yourself first, and the rest will follow.


    I mean I see what you mean I have told a few good friends and my parents that I'm gay but I'm worried of getting harassed or attacked by letting them know I'm gay. I know I should man up and deal with rejection from guys that don't like gay people but I always feel like I did something wrong even though its not my fault. I mean I don't want to read in too hard and think if I should go up to someone because I don't know if they don't want to be bothered or something.