May 12, 2015 2:12 PM GMT
Let me start by saying this isn't just a topic to ask for advice about what to do with my crush.
I've spent entirely too much time trying to figure out how to word this whole thing lol, so I'm just gonna go for it. I have this friend who's straight (as far as I can tell), and... he's just an amazing person. He's incredibly hot, works out a lot, he has the most beautiful blue eyes. But further, he's just a good person. He's an incredible friend, protective, loyal, willing to do anything to help out a friend. He's kind, and adorable, and I just love spending time with him.
I didn't really wanna gush about him like that lol, but I think it's important to the situation.
Anyway, he doesn't know I'm gay (or at least I haven't told him... I'm not really trying to hide it I guess, but I've never really feet the need to just spontaneously bring it up), so I've never told him all these things I feel about him, how amazing I think he is. Maybe the easiest way to phrase the problem is... I feel like he needs someone to tell him these things.
The reason I say this is because I feel like his love life... is a disaster lol. I feel like he tries way too hard; like he just throws himself at girls who pay him any attention at all. From my point of view, it feels like he does this from a lack of self-confidence... it seems like he isn't confident enough that his default state is more than enough to attract any girl he wants. He'll hook up with girls that I'm not even sure he really wants to be with, and my guess is that he doesn't feel like he can do better. Recently, he re-met a girl he knew from high school and almost immediately starting dating her... even though she had to leave to go back to her home across the state only a few days later. He seems intent on making that work (which, hey, if he can, great... I just don't see it happening).
It's just such a strange situation for me. To me, this guy is absolutely perfect; he should be able to pull whoever he wants on looks alone, and his personality is almost intoxicating to be around. Now, I realize that my opinions could easily be colored by my enormous crush lol, but I really don't think I'm so blinded by it that I'm missing some huge personality flaws. I mean, even our other friends say that he's like the nicest guy, best friend ever.
But I watch him throw himself at girls and get hurt, and it breaks my heart a little bit honestly; he deserves so much better, to be with a girl who appreciates him for everything that he is. But he doesn't seem to have the confidence needed to get a girl that wants him for more than just his body, a hook-up. I wish I could tell him just how special I think he is, and I think he really deserves (and needs) someone to tell him that... obviously, my concern if it were to be ME would be how that would impact our friendship lol. I don't think he would have an issue with me being gay... how he would react to me gushing to him about how I think he's like the perfect guy is a separate question haha.
I don't feel a personal need to admit any of this to him; I have long accepted that I'm going to develop crushes on guys that I can just never be with, and I'm okay with that. It happens. I know there are guys in similar situations who feel the need to tell their friend about their crush for their OWN sake, like it's eating them up inside. That's not what's happening here... I'm personally okay, but I feel like HE needs someone to let him know that he really can be loved; I feel like he doesn't believe that 100% himself, and until he does, he's going to keep getting hurt.
I suppose maybe nothing will really come of posting this here, as I'm pretty well aware of the couple of options here lol, but I guess I was just curious about what other guys would do in a similar situation. Also, HAS anyone ever found themselves in a similar situation, having a straight friend who you have an enormous crush on, who you think is basically perfect, but who has horrible luck (or whatever) with girls?
(holy s*** this is a lot longer than I planned lol)
EDIT: I meant to put this in dating/relationships, I have no idea how it ended up here...
I've spent entirely too much time trying to figure out how to word this whole thing lol, so I'm just gonna go for it. I have this friend who's straight (as far as I can tell), and... he's just an amazing person. He's incredibly hot, works out a lot, he has the most beautiful blue eyes. But further, he's just a good person. He's an incredible friend, protective, loyal, willing to do anything to help out a friend. He's kind, and adorable, and I just love spending time with him.
I didn't really wanna gush about him like that lol, but I think it's important to the situation.
Anyway, he doesn't know I'm gay (or at least I haven't told him... I'm not really trying to hide it I guess, but I've never really feet the need to just spontaneously bring it up), so I've never told him all these things I feel about him, how amazing I think he is. Maybe the easiest way to phrase the problem is... I feel like he needs someone to tell him these things.
The reason I say this is because I feel like his love life... is a disaster lol. I feel like he tries way too hard; like he just throws himself at girls who pay him any attention at all. From my point of view, it feels like he does this from a lack of self-confidence... it seems like he isn't confident enough that his default state is more than enough to attract any girl he wants. He'll hook up with girls that I'm not even sure he really wants to be with, and my guess is that he doesn't feel like he can do better. Recently, he re-met a girl he knew from high school and almost immediately starting dating her... even though she had to leave to go back to her home across the state only a few days later. He seems intent on making that work (which, hey, if he can, great... I just don't see it happening).
It's just such a strange situation for me. To me, this guy is absolutely perfect; he should be able to pull whoever he wants on looks alone, and his personality is almost intoxicating to be around. Now, I realize that my opinions could easily be colored by my enormous crush lol, but I really don't think I'm so blinded by it that I'm missing some huge personality flaws. I mean, even our other friends say that he's like the nicest guy, best friend ever.
But I watch him throw himself at girls and get hurt, and it breaks my heart a little bit honestly; he deserves so much better, to be with a girl who appreciates him for everything that he is. But he doesn't seem to have the confidence needed to get a girl that wants him for more than just his body, a hook-up. I wish I could tell him just how special I think he is, and I think he really deserves (and needs) someone to tell him that... obviously, my concern if it were to be ME would be how that would impact our friendship lol. I don't think he would have an issue with me being gay... how he would react to me gushing to him about how I think he's like the perfect guy is a separate question haha.
I don't feel a personal need to admit any of this to him; I have long accepted that I'm going to develop crushes on guys that I can just never be with, and I'm okay with that. It happens. I know there are guys in similar situations who feel the need to tell their friend about their crush for their OWN sake, like it's eating them up inside. That's not what's happening here... I'm personally okay, but I feel like HE needs someone to let him know that he really can be loved; I feel like he doesn't believe that 100% himself, and until he does, he's going to keep getting hurt.
I suppose maybe nothing will really come of posting this here, as I'm pretty well aware of the couple of options here lol, but I guess I was just curious about what other guys would do in a similar situation. Also, HAS anyone ever found themselves in a similar situation, having a straight friend who you have an enormous crush on, who you think is basically perfect, but who has horrible luck (or whatever) with girls?
(holy s*** this is a lot longer than I planned lol)
EDIT: I meant to put this in dating/relationships, I have no idea how it ended up here...
