Gay Men and Masculinity: A Complicated Relationship

  • AlexDSSF

    Posts: 35

    May 25, 2015 4:55 AM GMT
    So, I wrote this essay a few months ago, just after Russell Tovey pissed off the Internet. I hope that you like it.

    http://mralexsarmiento.blogspot.com/2015/03/post-165-gay-men-and-masculinity.html
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    May 25, 2015 2:36 PM GMT
    i read the essay and thank you. I think your working a problem where there just is not.

    -your up front issue is Russell Tovey. Generally actors are strange individuals just by them selves. If they are successful they spawn hangers on. At that point nothing is said that dosnt make money. Russell Tovey comes from a time that the average citizen pretended to actually care if someone was gay or straight.

    -gay or straight masculine men can be frustrated by a relationship because they lack the mental basics; trust, communication and respect. Physically nice to cuddle with someone that trims their toe nails, dosnt pretend they are from the third world.

    -chances are that that masculine man works downtown and part of a team that pushes paper work from one desk to another than finally into the shredder. Like we all do.

    -gay men from the 90's and older have a lot of Peter Pan in them and refuse to grow up. a guy from an accepting environment, just coming out today, knows he is a big homo but can choose to be gay.
  • starboard5

    Posts: 969

    May 25, 2015 3:36 PM GMT
    Gay men do have a complex relationship with masculinity; an approach/avoid psychological dichotomy for many. It's rooted in shame and anger, and expressed as a craving for the male validation we feel we didn't get growing up. That's an oversimplification, but pretty much nutshell's the situtation.
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    May 25, 2015 6:19 PM GMT
    Suggestion: You should also provide a link to Russell Tovey's interview in your blog.
    From what I remember, his interview also included something on the line that he finds himself lucky that he didn't turn out like an effeminate men.
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    May 25, 2015 8:12 PM GMT
    After reading your post I don't understand what problem you're addressing. If all you're saying is that sometimes people say things that hurt others' feelings ... well the solution for that is generally for people to develop thicker skins. Sometimes problems can be over-analyzed to the point that straightforward solutions are overlooked.
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1167

    May 25, 2015 10:21 PM GMT
    Love how this scholarly "essay" devolves to "dump his ass" and "twelve-inch penis and a lovely personality"
  • davfit

    Posts: 309

    May 26, 2015 3:12 PM GMT
    Most Gay Masculinity is Superficial as is Femme ...its all Acting!!!! I've seen both types work on " the Image"..Fake and more fake..And generally this is The" Bar type "every "Gay event" Type.. People..need to be themselves... no acting
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    May 27, 2015 2:25 PM GMT
    There is a lot of truth in what you said, but in all honesty your writing skills could use some work. Some ideas are repeated and written in ways that made me have to go back and read again to understand what you were saying. I'm saying this to be helpful, not to bash you.
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    May 27, 2015 4:02 PM GMT
    I got about half way through that. You might have kept my attention better had you stayed on topic. You've some tangential thinking which can be okay but you've not yet learned to incorporate it better.

    From what I read, you seem to think effeminacy exudes sexuality more so than masculinity. And you seem to be forming opinion based upon too much television watching. Life is not As Seen On TV.

    My immediate advice is to stop watching Rupaul, especially as you complain that the outside world doesn't view gay people as diverse. Trans is but a fragment which not only does not speak for all of gay community but is actually more so a hetero event. Go ahead, google it, most guys in dresses eat pussy.

    Much of what's on TV is bullshit for entertain purposes only. Educating yourself there bestows a degree in buffoonery.