i read the essay and thank you. I think your working a problem where there just is not.
-your up front issue is Russell Tovey. Generally actors are strange individuals just by them selves. If they are successful they spawn hangers on. At that point nothing is said that dosnt make money. Russell Tovey comes from a time that the average citizen pretended to actually care if someone was gay or straight.
-gay or straight masculine men can be frustrated by a relationship because they lack the mental basics; trust, communication and respect. Physically nice to cuddle with someone that trims their toe nails, dosnt pretend they are from the third world.
-chances are that that masculine man works downtown and part of a team that pushes paper work from one desk to another than finally into the shredder. Like we all do.
-gay men from the 90's and older have a lot of Peter Pan in them and refuse to grow up. a guy from an accepting environment, just coming out today, knows he is a big homo but can choose to be gay.