Open Relationship with Bi-Sexual Man

  • AnonymousNYC

    Posts: 60

    May 26, 2015 1:05 AM GMT
    Thoughts??

    I know the Bi word is forbidden but i am attracted to women as well just not sexually active with them.
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    May 26, 2015 1:30 AM GMT
    Do whatever to lead a happy life as long as it is not illegal.
  • AnonymousNYC

    Posts: 60

    May 26, 2015 3:45 AM GMT
    woodsmen saidDo whatever to lead a happy life as long as it is not illegal.

    Thankss
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    May 26, 2015 5:49 AM GMT
    There's nothing wrong with it as long as you are honest and clear with it and I ditto to woodmen's words as well.
  • biandawesome

    Posts: 9

    May 26, 2015 11:13 AM GMT
    According to Kinsey, 80% of us have bi desires to some degree or another. That probably includes men and women who go to great lengths to convince themselves they're gay or straight.
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    May 26, 2015 1:39 PM GMT
    Kinsey was from the 1940's and much of his publications might be none scientific and or just his belief system.

    I am not saying i disagree with his stuff but his numbers might be off leading to:
    -US Adults think that 20% of Americans Are Gay
    -the CDC thinks 2% are gay


    whatever


  • Huskul

    Posts: 6

    May 26, 2015 1:54 PM GMT
    I know some "golden" gays that have had a problem with dating bi guys. They feel you have a desire for something they can't offer, so you'll cheat to get it.

    But since you're talking about an open relationship, it likely wouldn't matter. But there is the added complication of if it's only open with guys, or if ladies can take a free ride.
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    May 26, 2015 2:00 PM GMT
    I would date a bi man. I would not be his dirty little secret and secret best friend with benefits. But if he was willing to introduce me to his mama as his boyfriend then he can lust after other men and women all he wants. He is no more likely to cheat on me with a man than with a woman.
  • AnonymousNYC

    Posts: 60

    May 26, 2015 10:11 PM GMT
    Huskul saidI know some "golden" gays that have had a problem with dating bi guys. They feel you have a desire for something they can't offer, so you'll cheat to get it.

    But since you're talking about an open relationship, it likely wouldn't matter. But there is the added complication of if it's only open with guys, or if ladies can take a free ride.

    I say open because if sex with a girl happened its not a deal breaker but with another man oh noo
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    May 27, 2015 12:19 AM GMT
    AnonymousNYC said
    Huskul saidI know some "golden" gays that have had a problem with dating bi guys. They feel you have a desire for something they can't offer, so you'll cheat to get it.

    But since you're talking about an open relationship, it likely wouldn't matter. But there is the added complication of if it's only open with guys, or if ladies can take a free ride.

    I say open because if sex with a girl happened its not a deal breaker but with another man oh noo


    Curious, is it really a "relationship" or a really good "friends with benefits"? If there isn't a commitment, what makes it a relationship?
  • AnonymousNYC

    Posts: 60

    May 27, 2015 6:31 AM GMT
    woodfordr said
    AnonymousNYC said
    Huskul saidI know some "golden" gays that have had a problem with dating bi guys. They feel you have a desire for something they can't offer, so you'll cheat to get it.

    But since you're talking about an open relationship, it likely wouldn't matter. But there is the added complication of if it's only open with guys, or if ladies can take a free ride.

    I say open because if sex with a girl happened its not a deal breaker but with another man oh noo


    Curious, is it really a "relationship" or a really good "friends with benefits"? If there isn't a commitment, what makes it a relationship?


    The definition of a relationship:
    the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.

    Thats like saying an open relationship isnt a "real" relationship.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    May 27, 2015 8:54 AM GMT
    Me personally, I would date a bisexual man but I wouldn't want our relationship to be open. I'm more of a monogamous-minded person so if I were to date a bisexual man, he'd have to be monogamous-minded too.

    But since you say you'd want an open relationship with one, I don't see the problem as long as you both agree to it.
  • biandawesome

    Posts: 9

    May 27, 2015 10:56 AM GMT
    pellaz saidKinsey was from the 1940's and much of his publications might be none scientific and or just his belief system.

    I am not saying i disagree with his stuff but his numbers might be off leading to:
    -US Adults think that 20% of Americans Are Gay
    -the CDC thinks 2% are gay


    whatever




    Modern techniques aren't necessarily better or more sophisticated-- MSM (men who have sex with men-- its the term the CDC uses to avoid gender labels and stick to factual behaviors) estimates are close to 6%. This doesn't account for 1) the high prevalence of lies when people are asked to self-report taboo behaviors and 2) desires themselves. Also, in the 1940s homonormativity hadn't taken hold to the degree that it has today-- today homonormativity and heteronormativity work together more intimately-- both reinforcing each other, and making people have an even harder time of perceiving their own bi-ness than they could in the past.

    I can't tell you the number of women who I've met who identify as lesbians but regularly have sex with men but insist bisexuals don't exist, or gay men who admit to having sex with women on occasion but insist that they're not bi when all their friends look at them in horror. Kinsey higher estimates incorporated desires that had never been actualized which people might bury even further in an age where being gay means you have fully embrace an entire package of behaviors, values and cultural ideals that some people might find even more unappealing than the stigma associated with sex with men (I'm sorry I'll pound gay ass with my bi dick all night but please don't make me listen to Lady Gaga and take 200 selfies).

    I'd say from personal experience--when people confide in me, or try to jump on my dick-- kinsey's numbers seem pretty right on. A huge percentage of straight dudes have wanted to try sucking my dick-- even more when I was younger. Who knows how many never tried it but wanted to all their lives, or how many gay men drove themselves to be horrified of vagina when they were actually capable of getting it on with women on a regular basis? We live in a time where people are particularly mind-fucked by sex roles--in the US at least. There's a sociological erasure of bisexuality and gays and straights both play a part in it. I hear its better in Europe.
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1116

    May 27, 2015 12:13 PM GMT
    I don't believe nor recommend an open relationship with anyone's sexual orientation, as there are countless risks involved and lots and lots of unnecessary drama with the parties involved. Having said that I've being in a relationship with a closeted bisexual man who was very loyal and faithful towards while it lasted!!
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    May 27, 2015 12:20 PM GMT
    AnonymousNYC said
    woodsmen saidDo whatever to lead a happy life as long as it is not illegal.

    Thankss


    ...and you don't needlessly/carelessly hurt others.
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    May 27, 2015 12:37 PM GMT
    I think buy-sexual would be more fun...especially if I'm the one being bought. icon_biggrin.gif
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 874

    Jun 06, 2015 8:18 PM GMT
    Consider the usual daily scenario: you are out there looking for a guy to have sex with, possibly go a bit further if the stars align.

    You bump into this dude who looks cool, and seems to be interested. One thing leads to another. icon_twisted.gif

    He then, goes on to self-report that he is actually a bi-dude, or even a str8 guy who wanted to try something different, or who needed to get his rocks off, and thought that having sex with another man may be a welcome shortcut.

    First off, you cannot really verify any of the above. He can also claim to be a Martian for all you care. You have had a m2m sex, and functionally, he is a gay dude in your books. The notion that you should be poking into his other sexual exploits is naive. You hardly have any means of doing this, and frankly, you do not own the guy. His life, and in particular his sex life is really only his business.

    Enters the possibility of dating this dude. This is where both he and you have to call your shots. If a dude is genuinely bi/str8, the chances are that he may be more prone to looking somewhere else for additional thrills due to the nature of the hardware involved.icon_biggrin.gif

    This does not go on to say that automatically, ALL the bi/str guys are born, incorrigible cheaters. We are only talking probabilities here.

    Quite a few guys have discovered that the monogamy may not be right for them, and are happy to develop open LTRs, cultivate FwBs, and FBs, too. These dudes tend to be on the silent side, because they fear that they are not the gay mainstream, but if you look around, the number of couples seeking other people to mess around with on your apps is slowly rising.

    If you see a dating potential, open your mind, and give it a fair, reasonable chance. An a priory exclusion is usually counterproductive.

    SC