To what point can one say "past is past"?

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    May 26, 2015 3:59 AM GMT
    To me people are not weather, they don't change over night, it usually takes a year in the very least for one to show some improvement and changing for the better in terms of character and maturity from their past self and behaviors...
    The point of this thread is for me to get some different perspectives to reach a concensus with my own self, details are not to be shared, forgive me all for that...

    Now we all have our own filter of perspective, call it judgment, call it common sense or self defense...
    To what point past actions from someone else should bother us if we think its immoral, repulsive, lack of character and maturity...even if past
    Not once I've been called judgmental until now by one person, I'm usually said how much of a good head I have over my shoulders...
    I thank in advance future opinions on the subject and examples of life you guys have to offer, I'm still kinda young and came out late because I was preparing the ones I love to make sure they Kew I was still the same person they always loved..but I consider myself mature and have been told so by many and already have some experience even before I was out, but I always welcome more perspective, there's too much room for interpretation to limit myself to one opinion if even my own let alone the most obvious ones...
  • Apparition

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    May 26, 2015 4:16 AM GMT
    people dont change, or maybe once a decade.
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    May 26, 2015 4:19 AM GMT
    Forgetting the past means it will be repeated.
    Grudging against the past means it will be repeated, but worse.
    Remembering the past means it will be learned from and improved for the future.
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    May 26, 2015 4:30 AM GMT
    Wise...seems that its the situation of the person I'm facing, used physical paths (drinking and drugs) in order to diminish the pain and forget the past and his present problems, ending up doing something among the same lines if not worse...and then expect understanding and forgiveness and if that person doesn't do it and instead point out how that must be improved and there's no excuse for such actions, he's a judgmental asshole...

    Thanks for the insight , much apreaciated
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    May 26, 2015 4:32 AM GMT
    It's OK to be judgmental, and to remember one's judgements for a long time. It is an admirable trait unless you are a priest.

    Behaviour in others that is "immoral, repulsive, or shows lack of character" ought to be the subject of judgement until/unless true remorse and change is shown - for most people that is never.

    On the other hand, a lot of people (especially very religious) have regarded being gay as immoral and repulsive, and they will be judgmental of gay people. I don't expect them to change, and don't care if they do or not. I judge them, just as they judge gay men.
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    May 26, 2015 9:42 PM GMT
    The past is truly the past when all parties involved are dead. As long as at least one is alive, the past is still present. History and actions cannot be undone. We would all do well to remember this when dealing with our fellow human beings.

    You know the drill... Do unto others...
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    May 26, 2015 9:51 PM GMT
    Human developmental growth is principally vertical. The past informs the present. Our present is a product of our past. We can learn from it, perhaps learn to forget some of it, but we simply cannot surgically excise it.
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    May 27, 2015 2:19 AM GMT
    We certainly ought to learn from the past but not let it bog us down in the present.

    There's a traditional Jewish practice that I find meaningful which is that, just before going to sleep at night to make a point of forgiving everyone who has wronged you during the course of the day.

    Here's one version of that traditional Jewish bedtime prayer:

    ''Master of the universe, I hereby forgive anyone who angered or antagonized me or who sinned against me — whether against my body, my property, my honor or against anything of mine; whether he or she did so accidentally, willfully, carelessly, or purposely; whether through speech, deed, thought, or notion; whether in this transmigration or another transmigration. May no person be punished because of me. May it will be Your will, Lord, my God and the God of my ancestors, that I may sin no more. Whatever sins I have done before You, may You blot out in Your abundant mercies, but not through suffering or bad illnesses. May the expressions of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart find favor before You, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.'

    Forgiving everyone everyday I think is the way to go... Of course, it's easier said that done, but just making a point of getting yourself into that mindset as a general way of living is I think what's key.
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    May 27, 2015 4:05 PM GMT
    Thank you all for your perspectives. Very helpful icon_smile.gif
    Long story short I'm trying to reflect about someone very bad decisions in the past (some not that long ago) and be less judgmental about it, not that I think is wrong to have standarts and push negative people aside if they don't show regretremorse and strengthdetermination to change. I have my own filter of perspective and it has served me well so far, I have been a good boy xD with very solid old friends and I don't want to let someone in my life if past actions are to be repeated, that would be like letting poison in my life...
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    May 27, 2015 6:46 PM GMT
    Say it 3 times and it's truly gone if you want
    "past is past"
    "past is past"
    "past is past"

    Your free.