How do I change my preference of guys

  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    May 29, 2015 9:18 PM GMT
    I already know people think negatively with a lot of the threads I start but I'm very serious about this. I want to learn how I can change the type of guys I'm attracted to or how to completely shut off my sexual attraction.

    I'm slim, I'm black, I'm androgynous/slightly fem, and I'm attracted to muscular or bodybuilder guys who won't give me the time of day for any or all of these factors. I totally respect their preferences, you like what you like. I really do like the way I look but I can never attract any guys I'm into. I know majority of these men are only attracted to others like themselves and I get the reason why. So I tried moving to married men for awhile but always chickened out because of the wife/kids and how they'd feel.

    I think this is especially hitting me harder because I have a twin brother who likes the same kinds of guys (Muscular/bodybuilders), only he himself, wanted to get big and muscular and started working out and getting great results in under 2 years and is now 3x bigger than me in size. And he does attract the guys he's into while I can't. I mean, I have included working out in my routine to try to look more toned but it's not enough and I'm too hesitant to go harder and pack on tons of muscle when it's not something I really want to look like. So yeah... That just makes me feel even shittier. I'm always regarded as the "ugly" brother nowadays which I didn't care about initially but for some reason, it started getting to me recently.

    So, I just want to find a way to completely turn myself off from muscular guys. What's the point if they won't be into me anyway? I think this question would be best suited to other non-muscular guys here. If you were able to change what you found attractive, how did you do this? I really want to know. Yeah, I know I'm VERY shallow here. I'm not going to deny it, I like what I like but I want to change this.

    I feel deep down I'm always going to pine for these big guys but as experience has shown, ALL odds are against me. I was thinking save up for sex change since a lot of straight muscular guys love smaller built women but I know I'm not transgender at all and it could potentially be a mistake. :/

    So to any of you non-muscular guys who actually do have attraction to non-muscular guys, how did you change/develop your attraction. Please share. The only other thing I've thought of to completely kill my sex drive is having my dick cut off but uh, that seems a little too farfetched icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 29, 2015 9:31 PM GMT
    Your body doesn't seem slim but rather athletic, meaning you have pure muscle on you ...maybe if you were to take some mega mass would make you more hulky...
    Regardless of the types there's a LOT of muscular dudes who like pretty slim or average guys when they are handsome...its like assuming all masculine muscle dudes must be tops xD they sometimes huge bottoms...don't assume and as for types, that goes away with age, as you mature you begin to appreciate all types or at least a few more
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    May 29, 2015 9:38 PM GMT
    nelo27 saidYour body doesn't seem slim but rather athletic, meaning you have pure muscle on you ...maybe if you were to take some mega mass would make you more hulky...
    Regardless of the types there's a LOT of muscular dudes who like pretty slim or average guys when they are handsome...its like assuming all masculine muscle dudes must be tops xD they sometimes huge bottoms...don't assume and as for types, that goes away with age, as you mature you begin to appreciate all types or at least a few more


    Yeah but like I said, in the long run I really don't want to look hulking but at the same time, I know that's what muscular guys like... I was thinking of saving some money for steroids to use in a year or two combined with going to the gym & trying to eat more to get the results quickly just to see if I really like the way I look and if not, just stop using them and hopefully revert back to my lean self.

    "Regardless of the types there's a LOT of muscular dudes who like pretty slim or average guys when they are handsome"

    Yeah well, I know I'm not handsome. Lips too big, nose too wide.. Yeah, not something that is generally thought of as "handsome" lol. Like I said in my opening, I'm not the most masculine guy around.

    So age huh? Well, I guess so... It's not like I'm getting any younger.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 29, 2015 10:12 PM GMT
    OP, first of all, you're not shallow, quite the contrary: you are acutely aware of your needs while not forgetting the needs of others. That requires self-analysis, awareness and courage, after all, many people like to play victim when they are rejected for this reason. You are in a difficult situation yet you're not playing victim. Props to you!

    You have the privilege of having a twin brother who gave you a glimpse of what your future could be. You are correct in your assessment that it's gonna be tough for you finding one such buff guy. I don't agree that there are "many" of such who are into guys like you.

    It's easier to change your body than changing your taste in men. If someone disagrees with this, I would kindly ask them for instructions on how to accomplish a change in taste. It's the kind of thing that's always preached and never practiced.

    Maybe you are afraid of losing your identity when becoming muscular, but let me tell you this: even if you become muscular, you are still you. It's a muscular you, but still you. You can be muscular and fem. Also, you can be muscular in a swimmer kind of way, so you don't need to completely forgo the slender look.

    You also need to remember that perhaps most muscular guys were once skinny or fat. They took the initiative to change themselves, sometimes radically. I am myself barely recognizable to people who saw me 7 years ago. So don't think you are changing for them. They changed too. When you become muscular and you have a nice sex or love life, this isn't just a benefit to your partner. It's above all a benefit to you. It's a mutual benefit, win-win.

    So it's up to you to judge whether you will be happier with a bit more muscle and a good sex/love life, or stuck to an identity that will change regardless (due to aging, time, events, etc), no love life and the melancholy that this inevitably ensues.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 29, 2015 10:39 PM GMT
    When I said handsome didn't mean you had to be a model...
    Regardless, you can find a balance, maybe bulk a bit more but not too much
    Your self awareness is good, but try not to be negative OK? We all have flaws and even those guys with great looks usually have a flaw in another certain way (usually personality xD )
    Keep improving and once you think you really don't want more on yourself just maintain what you have
    DO NOT take steroids....I mean it, you wanna build, do it naturally
    Pure muscle, I spoke mega mass but was just a tip, a friend of mine is pretty skinny and took it and putted a lot of fat that looks like muscle (you still need to lift) but doesn't have a ripped look...
    But again its not real muscle mass, no real strength, when you stop taking it you go slim again fast and also makes face kinda chubby, I'm no pro but I recommend you keeping just with natural good supplements like whey and keeping the hard work ;)
    Dude I'm just kinda fit average and had crazy handsome muscle dudes hiting on me at bars, I passed because hooking up is not my thing but its just an example for you to think on that what you said its not exactly true
    Keep up the good spirits and lift bro xD
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    May 29, 2015 11:15 PM GMT
    bachian saidOP, first of all, you're not shallow, quite the contrary: you are acutely aware of your needs while not forgetting the needs of others. That requires self-analysis, awareness and courage, after all, many people like to play victim when they are rejected for this reason. You are in a difficult situation yet you're not playing victim. Props to you!

    You have the privilege of having a twin brother who gave you a glimpse of what your future could be. You are correct in your assessment that it's gonna be tough for you finding one such buff guy. I don't agree that there are "many" of such who are into guys like you.

    It's easier to change your body than changing your taste in men. If someone disagrees with this, I would kindly ask them for instructions on how to accomplish a change in taste. It's the kind of thing that's always preached and never practiced.

    Maybe you are afraid of losing your identity when becoming muscular, but let me tell you this: even if you become muscular, you are still you. It's a muscular you, but still you. You can be muscular and fem. Also, you can be muscular in a swimmer kind of way, so you don't need to completely forgo the slender look.

    You also need to remember that perhaps most muscular guys were once skinny or fat. They took the initiative to change themselves, sometimes radically. I am myself barely recognizable to people who saw me 7 years ago. So don't think you are changing for them. They changed too. When you become muscular and you have a nice sex or love life, this isn't just a benefit to your partner. It's above all a benefit to you. It's a mutual benefit, win-win.

    So it's up to you to judge whether you will be happier with a bit more muscle and a good sex/love life, or stuck to an identity that will change regardless (due to aging, time, events, etc), no love life and the melancholy that this inevitably ensues.


    I guess... I just always liked being slimmer. When I envision myself with a guy, I'd want him to be way bigger than me but these big guys only like other big guys. And I just wouldn't feel comfortable being that big you know?

    I did look up the swimmer build and that seems like a good route to follow as I'd still get to be relatively small in size but will that even be enough to attract the bigger guys I like so much because I have a feeling it still wouldn't be enough...

    nelo27 saidWhen I said handsome didn't mean you had to be a model...
    Regardless, you can find a balance, maybe bulk a bit more but not too much
    Your self awareness is good, but try not to be negative OK? We all have flaws and even those guys with great looks usually have a flaw in another certain way (usually personality xD )
    Keep improving and once you think you really don't want more on yourself just maintain what you have
    DO NOT take steroids....I mean it, you wanna build, do it naturally
    Pure muscle, I spoke mega mass but was just a tip, a friend of mine is pretty skinny and took it and putted a lot of fat that looks like muscle (you still need to lift) but doesn't have a ripped look...
    But again its not real muscle mass, no real strength, when you stop taking it you go slim again fast and also makes face kinda chubby, I'm no pro but I recommend you keeping just with natural good supplements like whey and keeping the hard work ;)
    Dude I'm just kinda fit average and had crazy handsome muscle dudes hiting on me at bars, I passed because hooking up is not my thing but its just an example for you to think on that what you said its not exactly true
    Keep up the good spirits and lift bro xD


    The Mega Mass sounds like it'd help though I wouldn't want to have a "chubby face" when I stop taking it lol.
    I guess I'll try...
  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    May 29, 2015 11:33 PM GMT
    if you sincerely want to know how to overcome your preferences of physical types, it's based on personalities and getting to know the other person.

    I'm not saying "serial dating" but I am saying "spend time with others in person"

    You may be surprised by the results.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    May 30, 2015 12:06 AM GMT
    stratavos saidif you sincerely want to know how to overcome your preferences of physical types, it's based on personalities and getting to know the other person.

    I'm not saying "serial dating" but I am saying "spend time with others in person"

    You may be surprised by the results.


    Yeah, I hear this and have tried but at the end of the day, my mind goes back to the kind of guys I find physically attractive so I suppose the age thing is going to have to set in.

    I remember that documentary called "The Adonis factor" and what some of the guys were saying and it makes me feel if I change myself too drastically, I may as well be one of the guys in that documentary. :/
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2015 12:37 AM GMT
    Hum, your twin bro is gay also? What are the odds...icon_eek.gif
    Anyway, There is one thing to attract someone...but to retain their attention is a different thing.
    I am not sure to what end you want to attract muscular guys...Figure that one first...is it to date them or purely physical?
    I thought there's a way to shut down an attraction to a specific type of guys...whether we want to admit it or not we all have a "type".
    If musc guys are your type...either gravitate around places they hang around, become one or find ones that are into slender body types.
    Just don't be negative, jaded or settle...if all fails...We all deserve some excitement in life...and to be with someone who make you all tingly inside. icon_lol.gif
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    May 30, 2015 12:52 AM GMT
    FollowingRivers saidHum, your twin bro is gay also? What are the odds...icon_eek.gif
    Anyway, There is one thing to attract someone...but to retain their attention is a different thing.
    I am not sure to what end you want to attract muscular guys...Figure that one first...is it to date them or purely physical?
    I thought there's a way to shut down an attraction to a specific type of guys...whether we want to admit it or not we all have a "type".
    If musc guys are your type...either gravitate around places they hang around, become one or find ones that are into slender body types.
    Just don't be negative, jaded or settle...if all fails...We all deserve some excitement in life...and to be with someone who make you all tingly inside. icon_lol.gif


    Yeah, I get that a lot (twin gay brothers) but we are very different in personality and in the grand scheme of things, people tend to like him way more than me. Like I said, the ugly brother syndrome haha.

    Anyway, I genuinely do want to date these guys. Yeah, I am VERY attracted to them physically but I'd also like to get to know one on a deeper level if I ever got the chance.

    Believe me, I'm try to not becoming jaded but honestly, I have been feeling such thoughts of late.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2015 2:28 AM GMT
    mega mass adds fat overall, like you get infatuated, your face will get a little fat -when- you take it, if you stop you loose it all, face and body, but again, keep working as you do taking only protein, real strength and real mass
    best of luck ;)

    edit
    in all honesty you seems to look good, you got chest lines, just a bit more and will get you going, I´d say a couple of months max, if you keep the hard work at a gym, weights gets you results WAY faster
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2015 3:47 AM GMT
    bachian saidOP, first of all, you're not shallow, quite the contrary: you are acutely aware of your needs while not forgetting the needs of others. That requires self-analysis, awareness and courage, after all, many people like to play victim when they are rejected for this reason. You are in a difficult situation yet you're not playing victim. Props to you!

    You have the privilege of having a twin brother who gave you a glimpse of what your future could be. You are correct in your assessment that it's gonna be tough for you finding one such buff guy. I don't agree that there are "many" of such who are into guys like you.

    It's easier to change your body than changing your taste in men. If someone disagrees with this, I would kindly ask them for instructions on how to accomplish a change in taste. It's the kind of thing that's always preached and never practiced.

    Maybe you are afraid of losing your identity when becoming muscular, but let me tell you this: even if you become muscular, you are still you. It's a muscular you, but still you. You can be muscular and fem. Also, you can be muscular in a swimmer kind of way, so you don't need to completely forgo the slender look.

    You also need to remember that perhaps most muscular guys were once skinny or fat. They took the initiative to change themselves, sometimes radically. I am myself barely recognizable to people who saw me 7 years ago. So don't think you are changing for them. They changed too. When you become muscular and you have a nice sex or love life, this isn't just a benefit to your partner. It's above all a benefit to you. It's a mutual benefit, win-win.

    So it's up to you to judge whether you will be happier with a bit more muscle and a good sex/love life, or stuck to an identity that will change regardless (due to aging, time, events, etc), no love life and the melancholy that this inevitably ensues.


    Love this, and pretty much describes my evolution as well. I started working out seriously 7 years ago. I was a freshman in college and I saw a guy studying in the library with a cutoff shirt on. He had thick lats and musculature and I was immediately drawn to him. I knew then if I wanted to affect other guys the way he was affecting me, I'd have to put that kind of muscle on myself. I started at 200lbs and now I'm 265lbs. The difference in how I'm received is night and day.

    A lot of people will call you shallow for trying to get more muscular, especially if being more attractive if part of your reason for doing so. But, in my experience, it's usually coming from guys who are like I was. Only they decided not to put in the work and instead project that insecurity outwards. Especially considering the time it takes to move forward, it must be hard to realize you wasted it all without taking a step forward.

    In the end, it's your adventure and you're the only one who can decide what kind it's going to be. I can't tell you my life is a utopia right now, because it's not, but I can say that it's been worth it so far. From the looks of it, it'll be worth it for a while to come too.
  • slimnmuscly

    Posts: 541

    May 30, 2015 3:52 AM GMT
    A few thoughts you may find helpful:

    1) You'd have to gain at least 40-50 pounds of muscle before getting "too muscular" or "hulking" was a realistic concern. You might as well be worried about global cooling or underpopulation. But an extra 10 or 20 pounds of lean muscle would look fantastic on you while still leaving plenty of room for you to be the smaller of two muscular guys. (If you gained 20 pounds, you'd still weigh at least 30 pounds less than most of the guys on your hot list.) And the process of gaining and sculpting even a few pounds of that muscle would do wonders for your confidence. Improving your body makes it much, much easier to write your own ticket sexually.

    2) Yes, there is a certain logic to the idea of muscular guys preferring men at least as muscular as they are, but some guys like variety. I absolutely love being with bigger, stronger guys, but I also love being the bigger, stronger guy. And being bigger and stronger than a guy with a ripped up little body is like finding money on the sidewalk.

    3) You can all speculate all day and night about what kinds of guys "most" muscular guys like, but you only need to attract one at any given time (threesomes and orgies notwithstanding).

    4) On a related note, if 9 out of 10 muscular guys you hit on reject you, that means you're getting laid - by the one guy who doesn't. You have be aware and accepting of the likelihood that most guys you're attracted to won't reciprocate that interest WITHOUT thinking of the guy you're hitting on as "most guys."

    5) Be unapologetic and clear about what you want. Put it in your profile (minus all the "I know it's silly or shallow" talk). Hit on guys on Grindr or Scruff. If they reject you, block them and move on. You're just moving through your 9 rejections to get to the one yes - it's nothing personal.

    6) Sometimes guys I'm not physically attracted to hit on me and I find myself being attracted to their attraction and having a great time with them. Admittedly, this isn't a romantic or egalitarian scenario--in fact, part of the fun is the one-sidedness of it, how they want to worship without reciprocation--but it can still be symbiotic (and hot). If you're into muscle worship, make it known. The idea here is for you to get more experience with muscular men, which may give you more insights into how you can attract one longer-term.

    7) Read guys' profiles before you approach them. Sometimes there's useful information in there. For example, if they have a kink you're willing to indulge, hit on them and lead with that.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    May 30, 2015 5:36 AM GMT
    nelo27 saidmega mass adds fat overall, like you get infatuated, your face will get a little fat -when- you take it, if you stop you loose it all, face and body, but again, keep working as you do taking only protein, real strength and real mass
    best of luck ;)

    edit
    in all honesty you seems to look good, you got chest lines, just a bit more and will get you going, I´d say a couple of months max, if you keep the hard work at a gym, weights gets you results WAY faster


    Yeah, I think I'll just stick with the weights and try to eat more as well as to continue using whey protein. Thanks for the advice and same to you. icon_smile.gif

    Animus said snip


    I suppose but holy hell are you huge. I would never want to get anywhere close to 200 pounds. I may like guys who weigh that much in muscle but I wouldn't like that on myself personally. But I get what you are saying.

    And yeah, I'm aware of being thought of as shallow for trying to get bigger because honestly, I would only be doing it to attract the guys I like. I wouldn't enjoy it but if I have to put on a little more muscle to get what I like, then I have no choice. And even though I get bummed out when I'm rejected by a muscular guy who caught my interest, I will never label them "shallow" or say something like "Oh, you're ugly anyway." Not my style.

  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    May 30, 2015 6:43 AM GMT
    slimnmuscly saidSnip


    Well, I will try to add at least 10-15 more pounds of muscle. Hopefully, I will like the look if I can still be small and be smaller than the guys I'm attracted too. Really, it's that size contrast that I love so much and I really do want to be the little spoon.

    I know that some muscular guys like variety but in my experience, the only ones who showed that kind of interest were married men and I'd always chicken out to meet them because I can't live with that kind guilt.

    Yeah you're right, I only need that one special guy to bond with, I don't need a dozen lol. And yeah, I would very open to muscle worship if the guy was into it.

    But about the Grindr or A4A, I really have tried but my messages always get ignored and it's come to the point where I've run out of guys my type to truiy to spark a conversation with. For the record, I do read their profile. If they state "masc men only", "No Skinny guys", "No fems", "No Blacks", or "only into other muscular guys", I don't bother messaging since it would be pointless. But the ones I don't like are the ones who don't state their preference. It makes it so much harder when you read their profile and find something you have in common only to message them and get ignored. That's why I don't get upset if these guys are upfront with what they like, makes it much easier. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2015 7:27 AM GMT
    I find the "you only need one" argument naive because the ball of seduction is a game of odds.

    If only a tiny minority of muscular guys wants you, you will spend a long time looking for one and when you do find him, nothing guarantees he will be a good match for you because you don't just want the body, you want several other things: personality, tolerable character flaws, etc... If he's not a match, you have to start the long process all over again. They say it's just a matter of patience, but this can easily take years and life is too short and youth even shorter.

    When you attract a great number of such guys, your selection becomes a lot simpler and faster. It becomes more likely you'll find someone who pleases you not only physically but in other aspects as well.

    You can't ignore this whole dimension of likelihood.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    May 30, 2015 9:10 AM GMT
    bachian saidI find the "you only need one" argument naive because the ball of seduction is a game of odds.

    If only a tiny minority of muscular guys wants you, you will spend a long time looking for one and when you do find him, nothing guarantees he will be a good match for you because you don't just want the body, you want several other things: personality, tolerable character flaws, etc... If he's not a match, you have to start the long process all over again. They say it's just a matter of patience, but this can easily take years and life is too short and youth even shorter.

    When you attract a great number of such guys, your selection becomes a lot simpler and faster. It becomes more likely you'll find someone who pleases you not only physically but in other aspects as well.

    You can't ignore this whole dimension of likelihood.


    Yes, I understand this but I meant in general, even if I do get bigger.
  • slimnmuscly

    Posts: 541

    May 30, 2015 9:22 AM GMT
    bachian saidI find the "you only need one" argument naive because the ball of seduction is a game of odds.

    If only a tiny minority of muscular guys wants you, you will spend a long time looking for one and when you do find him, nothing guarantees he will be a good match for you because you don't just want the body, you want several other things: personality, tolerable character flaws, etc... If he's not a match, you have to start the long process all over again. They say it's just a matter of patience, but this can easily take years and life is too short and youth even shorter.

    When you attract a great number of such guys, your selection becomes a lot simpler and faster. It becomes more likely you'll find someone who pleases you not only physically but in other aspects as well.

    You can't ignore this whole dimension of likelihood.


    I didn't ignore this whole dimension of likelihood -- just the opposite, as you'd know if you'd read my post instead of just picking out one sentence at random to respond to. And it's pretty obvious the OP hasn't ignored it either, given that he considers it so unlikely that he's been contemplating even more unlikely alternatives (gender reassignment surgery in order to attract men, learning how to "completely shut off my sexual attraction"), etc.

    Yes, the OP needs to work out and gain muscle. Yes, his selection will become simpler and faster as he does. In the meantime, he needs to learn how to deal with a more complicated and slower process, because while life may be short, it goes by a lot more slowly and tediously when you're never getting laid than it does when you're sometimes getting laid.

    Yes, once he's buff, he can just log into Grindr and let the men come to him. While he's working on getting there, he needs to get his head in the game, take lots of rejection, be resourceful and resilient and get what experiences he can (including with muscular guys who aren't matches -- no better way to demystify them). He's in his early 20s. That's when you learn to eat your shit sandwiches and one of the only things on your side is time. Stop trying to freak him out about "fading youth."
  • Antarktis

    Posts: 213

    May 30, 2015 11:34 AM GMT
    I'd suggest taking a look at the guys around you. I've always heard that water seeks it's own level. Change hangouts, activities,and social network.
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    May 30, 2015 11:59 AM GMT
    BloodFlame said
    I'm slim, I'm black, I'm androgynous/slightly fem, and I'm attracted to muscular or bodybuilder guys who won't give me the time of day for any or all of these factors.

    The most valuable thing you wrote. But then you fixated on the single topic of having muscles. Muscles alone aren't going to attract the kind of guy you want. You need a total makeover, starting with the hair. And I suspect your wardrobe, as well. Plus perhaps some lessons on how to butch-up your voice. Just stabs in the dark on my part, but I kinda sense this.

    Then you'll discover that your slight (though not unattractive) muscles are secondary, not the real obstacle here. And it's a lot easier, and quicker, to change your clothes and your hair. Because the thing these guys want most, more than a carbon copy of their own muscles, is a MAN, as they define one.

    A controversial topic, this "What is a man?" debate. But if you pick these bodybuilder types, and want them to be attracted to you, then they're the ones who set the standard. You don't get to argue the point. And as I say, I think you're mistaken to be focused on muscles alone, because it's more than that.
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    May 30, 2015 1:01 PM GMT
    You probably will always be attracted to these kinds of guys to an extent, the problem is that if you're not attracted to guys that have a similar lifestyle as you, then you won't find success. I don't think it' fair for you to want someone who puts hours of work into their body when you don't seem to share that interest; despite the whole "opposites attract" debate, common interests actually sustain relationships.

    You should try dating guys who are more your type. I for example like fit people as well, but I also like slim toned guys too, and they tend to like me more since I am bigger. Above all of that i've learned that someone's energy and tone of personality can trigger me more than a body as well, so I am mindful of that also.

    The real question is it about these muscular fit men that you so greatly desire from them? find that within yourself and you will stop basing your self esteem off of their attention for you, and you'll go about dating in a more opportunistic mannor.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2015 1:20 PM GMT
    You only need one. And not all bodybuilders want a version of themselves. Or are super masculine. I have a friend who is a bodybuilder but is a hair dresser and is a power bottom. So butch is relative.

    You don't have change your type, just expand it. My type that catches my eye is one thing, who I date and fall in love with is a bit more expansive. I don't sate someone I'm not attracted too but they might not be my type. My current man (who I am totally in love with) is blond and blue eyed. he's the first man I've ever been with whose coloring is lighter than mine.
    Think of it like ice cream. Just because you usually like chocolate doesn't mean you can't try Phish Food and fall in love. Type usually has more to do with fantasy than anything. And no one partner can fulfill your every fantasy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2015 2:16 PM GMT
    I used to like you dude but you have officially fallen into idiot territory. SˇFU.
  • mar0302

    Posts: 273

    May 30, 2015 2:39 PM GMT
    Growing up I was super skinny.. even into my 30's.. and I started working out to put on muscle a bit.. I'm not massive by any means.. actually really thin still generally, but I've got a lot more muscle definition and people notice..

    Some of my lack of bulk is due to my body type and how hard it is to put on muscle, and some is due to my dedication falling off now and then.. but your twin bulked up, so that means you can too..

    I'd also look at your attitude.. being negative will turn people away.. if you think you're not worth it, or if you think someone won't find you attractive, then they won't. Think about it yourself - when you see someone acting in a certain way (confident, in charge, or positive behaviours for example), then even if they're not the sexiest guy in the room they'll often attract more than someone that's physically better. Attitude is a big part of attraction, but I agree with the person that said that you should also work on yourself physically - the more you can draw/attract, the better likelihood you'll get someone that works for you.
  • MarvelClimber

    Posts: 511

    May 30, 2015 3:30 PM GMT
    I firmly believe that our preferences are learned, not inherent. Our sexual orientation is inherent, but how we express our orientation is learned. Sexual behaviors are learned and can be changed. The same can be said of our attractions to types of men. Even if we can't pinpoint how we gained that attraction, we can learn to change it.

    I've made an effort to adjust my instagram feeds to show different kinds of men. I don't follow photographers who only shoot particular types of guys. Just making a conscious effort to open my mind has made a difference. It's made me more aware of what's being presented around me, not just from media, but also from people.