Bisexual date got a girl pregnant........ooops.

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    Jan 27, 2009 3:56 AM GMT
    Been dating this guy who claims to be bi. He just broke up with a girl a couple of months back but they hooked up again pretty recently...definitely before we met. Now, he got a word that the ex is pregnant with his baby. Should i keep seeing this guy or just drop him? I guess bisexual men do exist, eh?icon_eek.gif lol
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    Jan 27, 2009 3:57 AM GMT
    erm, why would you dump him? cause hes gonna have a kid? thats pretty low..
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    Jan 27, 2009 4:00 AM GMT
    not calling it quits because he's having a kid. I just don't want to get in the way of him patching up things with the ex. not the homewrecker type i am. really confused.
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    Jan 27, 2009 4:05 AM GMT
    uhm.

    is he wanting to get back together with her?

    if not, it shouldn't have anything to do with you.
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    Jan 27, 2009 4:08 AM GMT
    aeroplace saidBreak up with him, he's not worth the baby daddy momma drama.
    actually, I believe that would be the baby momma daddy drama
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    Jan 27, 2009 4:08 AM GMT
    i asked him if he wanted to get back with her but he said he doesn't know. we just found out and he's confused as much as i am. kinda sux....
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    Jan 27, 2009 4:10 AM GMT
    asiannewbie saidi asked him if he wanted to get back with her but he said he doesn't know. we just found out and he's confused as much as i am. kinda sux....
    as a bisexual male, I wouldn't necessarily get back together with someone just because of a child. I'd rather a child grow up with two happy homes instead of one miserable one.
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    Jan 27, 2009 6:52 AM GMT
    How many months is she? It's not like the baby is right there right now. If you like him stick with him and see how it goes. You can always back off later if you feel it's not a situation that you want. Is he absolutely sure he is the father? You know... some women lie about that kind of thing just to entrap a man.
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    Jan 27, 2009 10:47 AM GMT
    It's one thing to meet a guy who has raised his kids and matured and learned, quite another to meet a newbie father who is confused. Personally, I could be scoping a guy out but the instant I see he has kids or a wedding ring instant attraction kill.
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    Jan 27, 2009 10:59 AM GMT
    its a baby, if he's no interest in having a relationship with the women then so be it.. the fact that hes gotten a girl preggers, well, he should have used protection but, alas he didn't... talk to him, if hes confused, give him time and your ear and shoulder, your his partner, so, be his partner, give him his time and chance to work out whats happening, if he decides to try for a relationship with the women, step aside gracefully, if he doesn't, then support him in every way you can.
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    Jan 27, 2009 11:03 AM GMT
    It's difficult to have a long-term relationship with a bi guy. It's best to go with your gut instincts. Tread with caution. Something tells me you already know what you want to do.
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    Jan 27, 2009 11:05 AM GMT
    Tapper saidIt's difficult to have a long-term relationship with a bi guy. It's best to go with your gut instincts. Tread with caution. Something tells me you already know what you want to do.
    why is it?
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    Jan 27, 2009 11:35 AM GMT
    You haven't provided enough information for a qualified answer. We don't know about the relationship of the guy who is the father, with the woman who is bearing his child. Is it blossoming? Is he in love with her? Is he in love with you? We don't know much about your relationship with him.

    Unless you like sharing, no matter what the nature of the relationship of the bi guy, it's a regular can of worms. Perhaps you should have thought about it before going down the path of dating someone bi.

    If he's truly bi, he might marry the girl, and raise the child in a conventional nuclear family, that might well be happy. He might set his "bi" nature aside for the sake of the child.

    The test should be is he in love with you? Are you in love with him? If the answer is no, it's probably best to be selfless and to allow him the opportunity to see where his heart lies without outside interference. I think you're headed down the right path there.

    Another test should be are you prepared to accept a bisexual man, with a child, and with another lover (his girlfriend, other women, or other guys) into your life? Are you prepared to share him with others? If the answer is no, you need to move on.

    You should also ask yourself where else his unprotected dick has been. Is he the responsible sort? Doesn't sound like it does it? Are you prepared for whatever else he might bring home? Do you think he's a monogamous sort, or is he more of a swinger / bi?

    What's right is to do the selfless thing. Ask yourself what that is. If the answer is allowing him to sort it out with his girlfriend, and to allow him to decide what to do about parenting his child, the the right would be for you to step aside / move on for the time being. Remember, it's not always about you.

    No matter what the case, he likely should be given some space, and time, to decide his relationship with the mother of his child, and how he's going to deal with it.

    Ever study battered-wife syndrome? Ever study fatal attraction? I think you know what you should do, but, are seeking approval. Do what's the right thing, morally, for all of you.

    In a world of 7 BILLION folks, it's kind of weird, sometimes, how we set ourselves up for grief that we probably would do well to do without. I suppose it's a human trait, as many folks don't think clearly and logically. You have to look deep inside and ask yourself if you're up for sharing this guy with many others. You have to look deep inside and ask yourself if you should (if it's plausible) give the child a chance at a conventional family. If the guy is gay, and just not admitting it, that's a whole 'nuther thing, but, no matter what, it's a high drama, high steaks, game where someone is gonna' get hurt, and it's most likely gonna' be you.
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    Jan 27, 2009 1:18 PM GMT
    Sounds to me the guy wants his cake and to eat it too!

    I would tell him to have a blood test done.... especially these days...NOT saying the girl is a hoe or anything....but I have seen WAY too many cases!

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    Jan 27, 2009 3:32 PM GMT
    I think one of the soap operas will pick up on this topic
  • USAFGypsy

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    Jan 27, 2009 3:41 PM GMT
    Hmm, While yes, it does happen that a woman gets it wrong as to the paternity of her child, I don't think its fair to make her go through a prenatal test to find out. Its not all that healthy for the baby, not that great for her (have you seen how big that needle is for the test?) and is a huge knock to her self esteem. If the alleged father is willing to accept the child is his at this point, I would just leave that be.

    And yes, bisexual men do exist. Just had to get that out there.

    If you like him, then clearly stay with him and see where that goes. Yes, he will change as all men are changed by fatherhood, er, at least the ones that stick around for it, and you will have to understand that there will be times you can't relate to him, as he's a dad and you're not (assuming you don't have a few baby mommas of your own somewhere)

    Point is, he and the mom need to figure out what they want to do, as someone who cares about him (and yourself) he needs to know that you are there for him in at least some capacity and then once they have it figured out what they are going to do, then you can get your plan in order.

    Clearly you like the guy, I mean, you wouldn't be thinking this much about it if you didn't, let alone posting it online for all the world, or at least the world of RJ to comment on.

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    Jan 27, 2009 3:44 PM GMT
    are there more qualities to this guy than his healthy sperm count?
    if yes, then it may be worthwhile to keep dating - not relationship comes with a quarantee - see where it leads.
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    Jan 27, 2009 4:31 PM GMT
    We just began dating for about a month. From the very beginnning, he told me about his 2 "serious" relationships with girls and how he hooked up during thanksgiving with the ex. The guy's really confused now and i haven't talked to him since we found out so he can have space. I am just cautious that he's gonna change once the baby arrives. I know estranged couples who got back together because of their kid. I know it's early to say but it is fair to claim that both of us have put a considerable investment on this relationship and it sucks if it would go down the drain because of this. Yes , he says he's no longer "in love" with this girl but i know for a fact that the baby could change it all.


    ......I don't mean to broadcast my whole situation. I just couldn't find other rationale ppl to talk to about this since our relationship is a hush hush.icon_wink.gif
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    Jan 27, 2009 4:34 PM GMT
    just sounds like a bunch of drama from where i am sitting....
    you do have a little say in how much you want to have in your life, you know.


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    Jan 28, 2009 1:22 AM GMT
    Confucius say "Confused guy need no date me. Me not confused, nor needy of high drama."
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    Jan 28, 2009 1:50 AM GMT
    asiannewbie saidBeen dating this guy who claims to be bi. He just broke up with a girl a couple of months back but they hooked up again pretty recently...definitely before we met. Now, he got a word that the ex is pregnant with his baby. Should i keep seeing this guy or just drop him? I guess bisexual men do exist, eh?icon_eek.gif lol


    yes they do.... i dated on.. turned out to be an ass.. umm i would find out if shes really pregnant then take it from there...and then look within urself and ur feelings for him and decide if u wanna have that 'baggage' in ur life.
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    Jan 28, 2009 2:47 AM GMT
    Baggage is a big word that will haunt me for the rest of the relationship...at least what is left of it.;)