Bisexual or curious?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2015 5:14 PM GMT
    This bisexual guy was after me a few months ago and I decided to give him a chance and now we're together. But I'm still very concerned about a lot of things.

    He's 28 and says he's bisexual, but he had 3 long-term girlfriends (each lasting for years), and at 28 he has never done anything with a guy until we had sex. He said I'm the only guy he's ever done anything with. He's always talking about girls and only rarely talks about guys. He's also told me the way girls have treated him in the past is what made him want to try a guy.

    Soo to be more explicit, my two concerns are:

    - I'm his first gay experience, doesn't he wanna explore other guys???
    - is he really attracted to guys, or just confused and hurt by his past girlfriends??
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    May 30, 2015 5:40 PM GMT
    Listen to me very carefully, Dump him ! Dont waste your time with a piece of garbage like him that disrespects you by talking about girls all the time. You deserve someone who likes guys just as much as you do and not someone using you as a sexual experiment. I can tell by the way you type you're probably not going to leave him, but please at least consider it. And next time around dont ever let someone like him ( bi or curious, they are basically one in the same ) near your body. Wouldn't you rather be with someone who is proud to call you his ? Why settle for less ?
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    May 30, 2015 5:41 PM GMT
    I totally don't trust switch hitters. You don't know if any of what he said is true. UNLESS of course you've seen pics of these "former girlfriends" and truly believe a 28 y/o "bisexual" has never been with a guy before. I mean anything is possible but it all comes off as sketchy.

    Most of the men I've been with have been bi, some swearing they're really gay but "had to get married" (huh?) and some denying it by saying they're "just curious." Could be that I'm blaming the victim - of society - but, as I said to start this post, I totally don't trust switch hitters. Whether you want to isn't up to me though.
  • LostSailor

    Posts: 163

    May 30, 2015 6:38 PM GMT
    There is a ridiculous amount of bisexual hatred and bashing on this site.
    What's soooo wrong with a guy liking both?
    I'm bisexual and every guy I've ever been with knows it.
    In fact most of them think it's hot.
    Question for you hollier than thou, 100% full homosexual, bisexual haters out there:
    What if straight people thought about YOU the way u think about bisexuals??
    Wouldn't feel too good huh?
    Who the fuck says I HAVE to only like one or the other?
    I like both.
    Neither of u know the guy in question, so how can u judge?
    Soooo fucking annoying.
    I GUARANTEE u wouldn't have the fucken balls to say shit to a bisexual man's face.
    You'd get knocked the fuck out if u said jack shit to me about it.
    You live your life and let them live theirs.
    IN OTHER WORDS... SHUT THE FUCK UP.



    PUNK.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2015 6:53 PM GMT
    LostSailor saidThere is a ridiculous amount of bisexual hatred and bashing on this site.


    What's ridiculous is the amount of Bisexuals on a site for Gay men

    LostSailor saidWhat's soooo wrong with a guy liking both?
    I'm bisexual and every guy I've ever been with knows it.


    But has every woman known it ? Probably not ... It's all about pleasing straight people with bisexuals

    LostSailor saidIn fact most of them think it's hot.
    Question for you hollier than thou, 100% full homosexual, bisexual haters out there:
    What if straight people thought about YOU the way u think about bisexuals??
    Wouldn't feel too good huh?


    I dont give a fuck what straight people think about me being gay. Straight people can kiss my gay ass. Again, its the bisexuals that always give a shit what straight people think about them.

    LostSailor saidWho the fuck says I HAVE to only like one or the other?
    I like both.
    Neither of u know the guy in question, so how can u judge?
    Soooo fucking annoying.


    You can like anyone you want, I'd just rather bisexuals leave us gays out of it, why dont they just date other bisexuals since they're so "upset" that they're being "discriminated" against ?


    LostSailor saidI GUARANTEE u wouldn't have the fucken balls to say shit to a bisexual man's face.
    You'd get knocked the fuck out if u said jack shit to me about it.

    morganfreemanhemad.jpg


    LOL Oh really ?? ! icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif I've said it to many bisexuals. I frequently turn bisexuals down especially because they're always on my nuts becuase im masculine and they assume I'm bi too lol then they get all butt hurt when i wont let them smash.... yea I'm shaking in my boots....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2015 7:05 PM GMT
    bodyboarder725 saidThis bisexual guy was after me a few months ago and I decided to give him a chance and now we're together. But I'm still very concerned about a lot of things.

    He's 28 and says he's bisexual, but he had 3 long-term girlfriends (each lasting for years), and at 28 he has never done anything with a guy until we had sex. He said I'm the only guy he's ever done anything with. He's always talking about girls and only rarely talks about guys. He's also told me the way girls have treated him in the past is what made him want to try a guy.

    Soo to be more explicit, my two concerns are:

    - I'm his first gay experience, doesn't he wanna explore other guys???
    - is he really attracted to guys, or just confused and hurt by his past girlfriends??


    Sounds rather risky. Depending on how much you like him you can determine if it's worth taking the risk. If it is, just keep that clear in your mind that you might get hurt, but that sometimes risks also pay off.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2015 7:23 PM GMT
    bodyboarder725 said... I decided to give him a chance and now we're together...


    never date someone not out of his closet so:
    -when your on a date he should introduce you as his date
    -two of you an item; you get introduced as a boyfriend.

    you must expect and get an excellent response when you pda; as hold his hand at homeDepot, that big gay kiss should always be welcome.

    not a complex issue
    your love is serious and he should know this.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2015 7:49 PM GMT
    OP dont listen to the hateful butthurts here that discourage you. Give this guy a chance, the fact youre the first guy he's been with only means he's really into you. Go ahead and enjoy the relationship.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2015 8:19 PM GMT

    David666K, what advice would you give the OP if the Bi BF was you, or like you?

    *intrigued*
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    May 30, 2015 8:21 PM GMT
    David666k saidOP dont listen to the hateful butthurts here that discourage you. Give this guy a chance, the fact youre the first guy he's been with only means he's really into you. Go ahead and enjoy the relationship.


    lol You've already confessed to be a closet bisexual, you even had the audacity to come here and tell us of all people that you've fucked some woman and gotten her pregnant.. and expect us to be happy about it ? We are not hateful, we are protecting gay people from the carelessness of bisexuals
  • venue35

    Posts: 4644

    May 30, 2015 8:32 PM GMT
    Haven't you heard ??
    Being on the downlow is considered cool on rj now
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2015 8:38 PM GMT
    Just enjoy it for what it is ... you've identified the risks so keep those in mind and don't get too serious for a long time ... only the passage of time will tell.
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    May 30, 2015 9:49 PM GMT
    swimmer_sf saidJust enjoy it for what it is ... you've identified the risks so keep those in mind and don't get too serious for a long time ... only the passage of time will tell.


    True that. Don't get in too serious, yet. You don't need to play games, while watch out if he has a shady side that makes you feel like he's doing things behind you.
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    May 30, 2015 10:00 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    David666K, what advice would you give the OP if the Bi BF was you, or like you?

    *intrigued*


    My advice to the OP would be to make sure you're both on the same page, ask him whether he's willing to go serious or not - it's easy to blame the bi guy but things should always be clear from the start.
    Now from a personal point of view chances are the bi guy is a top and not interested in the opposite so don't try to change him, if you met him like that accept him like that. Don't expect him to quit his normal activities remember you're an addition to his life and vice versa, not a 180o turn around. He's accustomed to be the male in a relationship so he will probably keep acting like that, it doesn't mean he doesn't concider you a guy too!

    Of course this all could vary depening on the bi guy's personality but meninlove asked for MY opinion and my point of view.

    Basically dating a bi guy is the same as dating a gay one just be patient, respect him, don't try to change him and of course respect yourself too, and everything should be fine.
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    May 30, 2015 10:08 PM GMT
    ryyyder said
    David666k saidOP dont listen to the hateful butthurts here that discourage you. Give this guy a chance, the fact youre the first guy he's been with only means he's really into you. Go ahead and enjoy the relationship.


    lol You've already confessed to be a closet bisexual, you even had the audacity to come here and tell us of all people that you've fucked some woman and gotten her pregnant.. and expect us to be happy about it ? We are not hateful, we are protecting gay people from the carelessness of bisexuals


    Dude this is the 10th time I tell you I'm not a closet case. What I said in the past is that I don't go in my life introducing myself like "hi, yes this is a good job opportunity, by the way Im bisexual" and I never will. Some people know, some others don't , I just don't go talking about my sexual preferences to everyone, do you see straight or gay people doing that??

    You're not "protecting" anyone because there is nothing to protect them from. A bi guy is no different than a gay one, there are jerks everywhere. Only because you had a clearly bad experience with some bi guy don't make it right that you spread your venom to the entire forum. You think you're some kind of saviour and you're just a bitter unhappy idiot.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2015 10:10 PM GMT
    OP... Sounds like this is a discussion you need to have with your guy.

    Some guys have never been allowed to pursue or even acknowledge their gay ways, and they hide, re-label, and try to rationalize themselves into something other that what they are. Assuming this guy has been honest thus far, and assuming that you're his first guy, you need to understand what a massively huge step that was for him. Talk to him about your concerns.

    Now, that said, not all bisexuals are confused about themselves. Some have come to accept their attraction not to a man or a woman, but to a person. Some have found that if the relationship with a person moves into a sexual realm, they are not intimidated or disgusted by whatever parts are in use, and have learned how to please and be pleased by whomever they are with. Some have discovered how to love a partner regardless of what genitals their partner has.

    And those people are some of the sexiest people in the world.

    icon_cool.gif
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    May 30, 2015 10:50 PM GMT
    David666k said
    ryyyder said
    David666k saidOP dont listen to the hateful butthurts here that discourage you. Give this guy a chance, the fact youre the first guy he's been with only means he's really into you. Go ahead and enjoy the relationship.


    lol You've already confessed to be a closet bisexual, you even had the audacity to come here and tell us of all people that you've fucked some woman and gotten her pregnant.. and expect us to be happy about it ? We are not hateful, we are protecting gay people from the carelessness of bisexuals


    Dude this is the 10th time I tell you I'm not a closet case. What I said in the past is that I don't go in my life introducing myself like "hi, yes this is a good job opportunity, by the way Im bisexual" and I never will. Some people know, some others don't , I just don't go talking about my sexual preferences to everyone, do you see straight or gay people doing that??

    You're not "protecting" anyone because there is nothing to protect them from. A bi guy is no different than a gay one, there are jerks everywhere. Only because you had a clearly bad experience with some bi guy don't make it right that you spread your venom to the entire forum. You think you're some kind of saviour and you're just a bitter unhappy idiot.


    I definitely am, Bisexuals who are in relationships with women while still on this site have been running rampant for far too long. No you dont have to tell "everyone" thats silly. What isnt silly is your track record on this site. You dont make Bisexuals look good, if anything you make them look worse. Here you are with a woman and now a child... and STILL you are here. Yes there are assholes in the gay community, but why should we open it up to even more dysfunction ? Why not find a Bisexual forum, so you all can go whine about the troubles of being bisexual and trade stories about how you accidently got drunk and called you're gay lover while you were at the sports bar with your wife ??

    Oh look !!! here's one for you
    Men's Bisexual forum
    http://www.shybi-guys.com/forum/
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2015 10:56 PM GMT
    Thanks for everyone's insight. I'm still trying to figure bi guys out... They're complicated to understand icon_neutral.gif and a bi guy is always going to make me worry if I'm as good to him as a girl would be... My ex bf left me to date girls, so now I'm just traumatized. But I know I shouldn't let that bias my view on the general bi population.

    But are girls prettier/preferred in a bi-guy's point of view? If you reason logically, why would a bi guy choose to live the less socially acceptable gay lifestyle when he can choose to live a "normal" and easier straight life, and still have the same sexual saisfaction? -.-
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    May 30, 2015 11:10 PM GMT
    I would not expect much from him, in fact, I'd run far away. That bit about him wanting to try a guy on account of girls treating him badly screams loudly that he is flaky. There is a difference between bisexual and simply experimenting out of frustration.
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    May 30, 2015 11:11 PM GMT
    ryyyder said
    David666k said
    ryyyder said
    David666k saidOP dont listen to the hateful butthurts here that discourage you. Give this guy a chance, the fact youre the first guy he's been with only means he's really into you. Go ahead and enjoy the relationship.


    lol You've already confessed to be a closet bisexual, you even had the audacity to come here and tell us of all people that you've fucked some woman and gotten her pregnant.. and expect us to be happy about it ? We are not hateful, we are protecting gay people from the carelessness of bisexuals


    Dude this is the 10th time I tell you I'm not a closet case. What I said in the past is that I don't go in my life introducing myself like "hi, yes this is a good job opportunity, by the way Im bisexual" and I never will. Some people know, some others don't , I just don't go talking about my sexual preferences to everyone, do you see straight or gay people doing that??

    You're not "protecting" anyone because there is nothing to protect them from. A bi guy is no different than a gay one, there are jerks everywhere. Only because you had a clearly bad experience with some bi guy don't make it right that you spread your venom to the entire forum. You think you're some kind of saviour and you're just a bitter unhappy idiot.


    I definitely am, Bisexuals who are in relationships with women have been running rampant for far too long. No you dont have to tell "everyone" thats silly. What ist silly is your track record on this site. You dont make Bisexuals look good, if anything you make them look worse. Here you are with a woman and now a child... and STILL you are here. Yes there are assholes in the gay community, but why should we open it up to even more dysfunction ?


    I'm here because RJ is entretaining and I like to be in contact with other gay/bisexual people, there is nothing wrong with that. Why do my presence bother you so much? Just for the record when I joined 3 years ago I was in a relationship with a guy but now that I'm with a girl I''m not welcome anymore? LOL. You're letting everyone see your own insecurities and issues. Go get some therapy.

    And bisexuality is not a dysfunction , at least not any more than being gay is.
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    May 30, 2015 11:19 PM GMT
    bodyboarder725 saidThanks for everyone's insight. I'm still trying to figure bi guys out... They're complicated to understand icon_neutral.gif and a bi guy is always going to make me worry if I'm as good to him as a girl would be... My ex bf left me to date girls, so now I'm just traumatized. But I know I shouldn't let that bias my view on the general bi population.

    But are girls prettier/preferred in a bi-guy's point of view? If you reason logically, why would a bi guy choose to live the less socially acceptable gay lifestyle when he can choose to live a "normal" and easier straight life, and still have the same sexual saisfaction? -.-


    If the guy falls in love he will do anything to be with you (at least I know many would). Don't listen to the couple of butthurts here that are irrationally against bisexuals. And regarding sex, as long as you don't try to change him he wont really feel that much of a "difference" between you and a girl - meaning the difference won't be as big for him to leave you for a girl.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2015 11:29 PM GMT
    bodyboarder725 saidThanks for everyone's insight. I'm still trying to figure bi guys out... They're complicated to understand icon_neutral.gif and a bi guy is always going to make me worry if I'm as good to him as a girl would be... My ex bf left me to date girls, so now I'm just traumatized. But I know I shouldn't let that bias my view on the general bi population.

    But are girls prettier/preferred in a bi-guy's point of view? If you reason logically, why would a bi guy choose to live the less socially acceptable gay lifestyle when he can choose to live a "normal" and easier straight life, and still have the same sexual saisfaction? -.-

    Understand that there is not "the Bisexual" with clearly stated likes and dislikes but a whole range of men between straight and gay. Some like men for sex but fall in love only with women, some have the hots for both, but fall in love only with one of them, for some their likes and dislikes can change, sometimes daily. There's also the bisexuals who are on their way to be gay, they just aren't ready to admit it yet.

    As for your guy, talk to him, find out where he's at and don't worry too much about being inadequate. He's with you right now, that is what counts.
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    May 31, 2015 12:04 AM GMT
    bhp91126 said
    bodyboarder725 saidThanks for everyone's insight. I'm still trying to figure bi guys out... They're complicated to understand icon_neutral.gif and a bi guy is always going to make me worry if I'm as good to him as a girl would be... My ex bf left me to date girls, so now I'm just traumatized. But I know I shouldn't let that bias my view on the general bi population.

    But are girls prettier/preferred in a bi-guy's point of view? If you reason logically, why would a bi guy choose to live the less socially acceptable gay lifestyle when he can choose to live a "normal" and easier straight life, and still have the same sexual saisfaction? -.-

    Understand that there is not "the Bisexual" with clearly stated likes and dislikes but a whole range of men between straight and gay. Some like men for sex but fall in love only with women, some have the hots for both, but fall in love only with one of them, for some their likes and dislikes can change, sometimes daily. There's also the bisexuals who are on their way to be gay, they just aren't ready to admit it yet.

    As for your guy, talk to him, find out where he's at and don't worry too much about being inadequate. He's with you right now, that is what counts.


    This is the sanest advice I've read. The Bi guys on their way to be gay, though, is sometimes a gay guy dropping the Bi facade, or a Bi guy who is on the spectrum close to the end of said spectrum finally admitting most of his attraction is for men.

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    May 31, 2015 12:07 AM GMT
    David666k said
    meninlove said
    David666K, what advice would you give the OP if the Bi BF was you, or like you?

    *intrigued*


    My advice to the OP would be to make sure you're both on the same page, ask him whether he's willing to go serious or not - it's easy to blame the bi guy but things should always be clear from the start.
    Now from a personal point of view chances are the bi guy is a top and not interested in the opposite so don't try to change him, if you met him like that accept him like that. Don't expect him to quit his normal activities remember you're an addition to his life and vice versa, not a 180o turn around. He's accustomed to be the male in a relationship so he will probably keep acting like that, it doesn't mean he doesn't concider you a guy too!

    Of course this all could vary depening on the bi guy's personality but meninlove asked for MY opinion and my point of view.

    Basically dating a bi guy is the same as dating a gay one just be patient, respect him, don't try to change him and of course respect yourself too, and everything should be fine.


    Thanks for your POV, although I was asking for more than your opinion. I was asking you to imagine yourself as his Bi BF and what advice you'd give him as such.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 31, 2015 12:10 AM GMT
    Try him out and lean someting new from a Bi guy.icon_confused.gif