The guy checks me out in the club, walks over to me, and...????

  • beanie12

    Posts: 1

    May 31, 2015 2:10 AM GMT
    Hey guys!

    I have a question about guys hitting on me at a club and wanted to ask if someone on the board can help me out with his experience. There have been a few nights when guys would walk over to me but they just show their back and not say hi to me. Some of them will do a dance off in front of me, but really don't talk to me or offer me to dance with them.

    I usually go out alone--most of my friends aren't into partying or dancing so it's hard for me to find someone to tag along. This is totally fine with me since I like to dance which I don't mind doing alone. I love dancing--never learned to how to dance in my life but I just have lots of energy and it feel really good to bounce to the beats.

    Now my problem is that although I'm there to just dance, I do find lots of eye candies. I'm a shy person so I just hope some of them will come and maybe say hi. My concern, as you might already know, is that most of them don't. I'm not really good at flirting/hitting on someone which puts me at their mercy for any chance for a relationship.

    So I have been lucky on a few occasions and I would make eye contacts with some guys. Some of them do walk over to me, which makes me to think he's into me as well. Here is when the problem starts. Not a single one person so far has said hi to me--most of them won't even face me directly. They normally show me their back, bounce awkwardly for 2-3 minutes and walk away. I am really confused when this happens. Should I force him to turn around and say hi, rub on his back like 'hey buddy, turn around', or be slutty and rub myself on him? I'm kinda new to this scene so I need some advice on this. Hopefully not the last one cuz I would rather live single than to be a slut.

    In case it helps, I'm really small (5'7'', 120lbs, I have an ideal body for a woman) and pretty androgynous--not feminine though. I am into someone significantly bigger than I am, ideally twice of my size. A perfect date would be watching baseball games over a pitcher or two after work. I've been hit on by lots of stereotypical "jocks" in high school but I just never knew what dating meant back then. Too late for regrets but never to late to fix the mistake.

    I would appreciate any suggestions/comments. Thanks!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 31, 2015 2:54 PM GMT
    beanie12 said...I'm there to just dance...I'm a shy person so I just hope some of them will come and maybe say hi...I'm..at their mercy...


    Oh how curious. So you're like a dancing wall flower or something. When a guy comes over to dance with you, why don't you see what happens when you touch him.

  • Apparition

    Posts: 3534

    May 31, 2015 9:30 PM GMT
    This is what they are expecting...you are confusing them by not completing the transaction.

    6491399371_249a9b5f36_b.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 03, 2015 7:26 PM GMT
    Whinge....

    Anyway, you're shy but you have very specific tastes so lets break it down. No one is saying hi to you right now so what's the likelihood that the right guy is going to? Nil. You can't walk up to a guy and introduce yourself, start a conversation, convince him to like you, start dating, move in together, buy a dog, and grow old together because you're too shy.
    You can say hi. Spot a cutie, walk up to him and say "Hi, my name is Beanie.", get his name, say it was nice to meet him, say bye, and walk off. Now he's not a stranger and you can go say hi to him again later in the evening. But first off you only have to say three sentences. That's all you need to focus on in the first case.
    Go. Do it.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Jun 03, 2015 7:45 PM GMT
    What you're describing is an age-old ritual. Guy thinks he's made eye contact with someone who he's interested in. Gathers up the courage to walk over. Gets cold feet and shy. Turns around and tries to look casual like he didn't just wimp out.

    He's made the first move. Now it's your turn. When it happens again, just reach out and touch his shoulder. When he turns around, ask him if he'd like to dance. Ask him his name once you're on the dance floor.

    Easy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 03, 2015 8:09 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidWhat you're describing is an age-old ritual. Guy thinks he's made eye contact with someone who he's interested in. Gathers up the courage to walk over. Gets cold feet and shy. Turns around and tries to look casual like he didn't just wimp out.

    He's made the first move. Now it's your turn. When it happens again, just reach out and touch his shoulder. When he turns around, ask him if he'd like to dance. Ask him his name once you're on the dance floor.

    Easy.


    See the movie classic "Marty"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 05, 2015 10:16 AM GMT
    Maybe there is only one with long hair of out of a lot who has short hair. Is that a coincidence feeling. Your special amongst man who is curious. The pheromone of your scent attract many man around you.

    But never interrupt the ritual in the club; Going inside alone, can be strange. Always bring a best friend or room mate. Make new friends before showing up in the club, okay... icon_biggrin.gif