Is it just me? Or . . .

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 04, 2007 7:05 PM GMT
    Is it that straight guys are so much more enticing than gay guys? I swear, I have not met one gay guy that I was attracted to now that I am back in Arizona and back in the dating scene.
    I have “had a crush” on three guys. After I got over my (sickening and crippling) shyness (when it comes to meeting guys), I found out that each and every one of them are straight and have girlfriends.
    Doesn’t help that one of them “walks gay”, the other is gorgeous and acts like he is bi, and the other one plays with my nipples when he sees me!!!! All three . . . straight.
    I swear, working at Disney fucked up my gay-dar. Everyone I worked with was gay. And after I was hit on and asked out by certain people . . . I have no gay-dar anymore. (If you are intrigued, I’ll have to put up the pictures and you’ll understand)icon_wink.gif
    Does anyone have advice on how to tune up my gay-dar?
    I’d say that I am going crazy . . . but I am not sure how you can go to a place you are already at!!
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    Oct 04, 2007 7:51 PM GMT
    I have lousy gaydar when I am out and about in hetero society. I would recommend joining gay sports/social organizations, volunteering, or checking out social networking websites (e.g. MySpace) to find lots of good-looking gay guys. I am not sure I agree with you about straight guys being more attractive. Of course effeminate behaviour can be a turn off for some gays. Good luck and keep looking.
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    Oct 04, 2007 8:58 PM GMT
    I couldn't help you. Still to this day I tend to find straight guys slightly more attractive than gay guys. Probably because I fantasized about them so much as a kid.

    For as tuning up your gay dar? I couldn't really help you. You see what I have is confusedar. I can spot a confused guy out so easily. Maybe even bi a lot of times, but unless he's a femm, my gaydar is crap.
  • GQjock

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    Oct 04, 2007 9:43 PM GMT
    I think this is hokum ... there are PLENTY of gay guys who look just as str8 as any of these so called str8 guys you're lusting after
    I think pining over something you can have is like banging you head against the wall
    both will leave you with a loss of brain cells
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    Oct 04, 2007 10:07 PM GMT
    While I do find many str8 guys attractive... as well as many of the "str8 looking" gay guys... I personally don't tend to find those guys attractive just because they're str8 or look str8. I tend to go for the guys that have a sense of individuality about them... the social rebels... the fashion rebels... the "here I am, I don't conform, like me or don't" kind of guys. That's probably because I never cared to conform myself, and I suspect because I never wanted to "look str8" because... hello... I'm not, though I don't think I "look" particularly gay, either.

    How do you "look" str8 or gay, anyway? You look like you look. Period.

    However, back to your question, Tigger... could it be that you've just been around too much drama/queenliness for too long and you're looking for the exact opposite? Or perhaps you're turned on by what you believe you can't have? Or maybe the idea that you could "turn" a str8 guy gay is the enticing factor? Just some ideas...

    There are extremes in every group and exceptions to every rule. Sexual attitudes are becoming less and less defined... less "carved in stone"... these days.

    GQJock is right, though... there are plenty of gay guys that go out of their way to look as str8 as the str8 guys... take a look around and I'm sure you'll find them...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 05, 2007 12:20 AM GMT
    Might be the "forbidden fruit" syndrome. You want what you can't have.
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    Oct 05, 2007 4:24 AM GMT
    I think the turnoff isn't so much straight or gay, but, more, that, internally, many gay guys just have such deep issues of self-confidence, religious conflict, integrity, and so on.

    Even today, I met folks who lash out because of deep insecurity.

    I think that straight are naturally more secure with less baggage / drama, and lots of gay folks are drawn to that self-esteem. I've certainly found it to be the case.

    If you like yourself, set standards, and make no bones about (as a "regular" person would do), people are drawn to that. Lots of gay folks resent it, but, are drawn to it as well. Hard to explain.
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    Oct 05, 2007 6:17 PM GMT
    Makes complete sense what Chucky says. People are attracted to self confidence. And I know I am still battling that problem myself.

    And I tend to fall head over heels for hot straight guys.
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    Oct 05, 2007 7:58 PM GMT
    Yes chucky is right. As a corollary of having more self-confidence a lot of str8 guys seem more innocent and trusting even when they're at a mature age. I'm lucky that I found a gay man with these qualities.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 05, 2007 8:56 PM GMT
    Plus - I mean, you're in Flag...icon_wink.gif
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    Oct 20, 2007 7:12 PM GMT
    But have you been asking yourself why streight womans are attracted to gay guys? I believe (this is the one and the only truthicon_surprised.gif) that people allways want something that they can't never have!!!!