evchado32 saidHey, I was just wondering if anyone else has ever had this problem. None of the guys where I'm from really talk to me or want anything to do with me. I message people on grindr, I try and get people to go out for coffee or lunch,etc., and most of the time I'm just ignored or denied.. Most of the time I try and text people, they give me very short responses and it's hard to carry a conversation and I always have to text first.. For example, a guy I text some came to my town and has been here for a few days and I tried to get him to hang out with me.. The first day he was hanging out with a girl he knows, and tonight he said he was hanging out with some guy he met while he was here. I really don't know what more I can do. Do you think maybe I'm coming on too strong or maybe too weak? I'm trying to put myself out there more, but nothing is really working.. I even applied for a job at the gay club as a bar back… so maybe that will help? Or maybe my looks and stuff just aren't really good enough? I was just wondering if anyone has ever been in a similar situation and could maybe offer some advice?
I feel your dilemma OP about dealing with how to keep someone interested in you. It's like you have to play an elaborate character or something. So I feel where you are coming from but here's some advice.
For one, maybe try meeting guys offline. If you're specifically looking more for gay guys, try a gay nightclub, gay bar, or LGBT gay group (though I feel you're wanting to meet guys on a more intimate level). In that case, you have to be patient and don't force it or you risk coming off too strong and scaring the guy(s) away.
Personally, I would try a gay bar since they tend to be more quieter than a loud nightclub and may be easier to strike up conversations with the patrons. I mean, if the guy is open/polite, he'd engage you in a conversation and through this, you can show yourself more. If he's interested, he may be open to meeting you again. So I personally feel this could be good for you.
I mean, you could try a nightclub but honestly, they are loud and they tend to attract more standoffish guys. But hey, you said you applied for a job in one so yeah, that is definitely a foot in the door to socializing on some aspect of the gay scene.
"Or maybe my looks aren't good enough...?" I have to say that maybe it depends on the guys you hit up, believe me, I know the feeling of unrequited interest with who you express interest in. If that's the case, DON'T EVER fall into the rut of constantly berating yourself because it's hard to pull out of. Just keep your chin up and either keep trying or if you're open, you can change little things of yourself but you have to do it for you at the end of the day okay?
I hope this helped you somewhat and good luck!