Best-Friend

  • Tooji

    Posts: 26

    Jun 05, 2015 6:00 PM GMT
    Okay, so uhh... 2nd time I come here for help. (sort of)
    I wanted to know what do you people think.
    I serve in the military and there is a guy in my base who's also gay. We started talking a little bit more than a year ago and we became quite close, it was new to me - i've never really met a gay guy IRL.. only had online friends. So it was quite cool for me and fun. (obviously I was a virgin back then also, yes... at 18 years old - awkward) at that time he had a boyfriend. After a long time away from home, I came to his room so we can go for a workout and from here to there he kinda made a move on me but I turned him down back then... I told him I won't let him do something he will regret later. (I'm very loyal and it's hard for me to sleep with someone who's in a relationship). It was awkward for a day but I acted like nothing happened and we kept talking and became best friends for over a year now but recently he and his BF broke up after a 4-year relationship. He talks to me about everything, I tell him everything too obviously. We stay up till late and we watch TV Series or Movies in my office sometimes when we have free time and sometimes there is some kind of sexual tension between us but i'm not sure what to do.
    I'm afraid that if I sleep with him it will just become weird or I will lose him, or maybe he is scared to make a move on me again because of what happened the last time. What do you think about that? Should I talk to him about it? Just make a move next time we're alone like that? Or try to just hold it in and realize it wouldn't be smart?
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Jun 05, 2015 6:46 PM GMT
    I say go for it. He's obviously a good guy and you like him so why not try dating and see? Just tell him some night after drinks that you think about the time you two almost got together but that you're glad you didn't because he was in a relationship. But now, would he consider giving it another try? Life is for living and everything has risks. You'll never find love without risk. Sleeping with him shouldn't make it weird unless you make it so. Sex is fun. Don't over-think it. Enjoy life!
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 871

    Jun 06, 2015 6:12 AM GMT
    The idea that sex between the friends automatically spells the end of the friendship is an urban legend.

    If you happen to have loads of baggage that you are hauling around, a ton of things will end your friendships/relationships with other people. Sex is just one of them. If you are an essentially sex-negative person, you, too, are running an increased risk of ending the friendship because you are likely to regret having sex per se. Make sure that you part from being either one of those.

    The dude is now single. You have connected. Why not let the nature take its course? It is really only up to you to decide how are you going to see the sex bit. It simply may be a natural extension of your friendship. Or it can be a powerplay that may or may not be destructive.

    Life is about taking calculated risks. Why not live?

    SC

  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jun 06, 2015 6:25 AM GMT
    Leap_of_Faith.jpg

    Take a leap of faith
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    Jun 06, 2015 7:35 AM GMT
    You say there is "sexual tension" between you, so he is still interested. Next time, lean over and kiss him, and see what happens. It could be the beginning of a new relationship, the start of just a single night of passion, or nothing might happen. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. If it doesn't work out, that doesn't mean that your friendship will end.
  • bro4bro

    Posts: 1031

    Jun 06, 2015 4:05 PM GMT
    I agree with the rest, but I understand it might be a bit awkward to have the conversation, and even more awkward to lean over and kiss him, seeing as you've never done anything like that before. Even for seasoned pros, knowing exactly when to deliver that first kiss can be difficult.

    So, next time you're alone together sitting side by side and feeling like good buddies, just grab onto his hand. Hold it. Squeeze it. Look him in the eye and smile. If he's into you at all, the making out will start pretty much instantly.

    It's always worked for me.
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    Jun 06, 2015 5:24 PM GMT
    Whether you hold his hand and squeeze, or lean over and kiss him, or nothing - do report back. RJers are a curious bunch.
  • Tooji

    Posts: 26

    Jun 06, 2015 10:39 PM GMT
    I will, thank you for your opinions and help! icon_smile.gif
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    Jun 07, 2015 2:32 PM GMT
    Solid advice from everyone. Just wanted to wish you good luck and say we look forward to hear the end result!
  • Pete36

    Posts: 69

    Jun 26, 2015 11:46 PM GMT
    Well we were best friend, both 15yo virgins and had discussed loosing it to each other. we had bee making out, jerking each other off and giving each other head for about 6 months and were both ready for the next step. His parent were going away for the weekend to a wedding and it was arranged with my parents that I would stay with him for the weekend. Well it was a great time and we both enjoyed loosing it to each other. We both did it bareback as we both wanted to feel the cum shooting into our body. we fell asleep in each other arms and woke up the next morning and did it again and again.