People don't change.The same problems that caused the break-up are still there.
I wish people would stop repeating nonsense like this. Just because you've heard something repeatedly doesn't make it true. People definitely change. But only if they have the desire to change. I'm a completely different person in many ways than I was ten years ago. But that's because I've gone through several years of therapy, meditation classes and self reflection. My ex never changed much at all because he fought against change whereas I embraced it. And that's the thing about change......if one person is growing while the other person remains stagnant, the relationship is doomed.
I agree Radd...It's not as simple as people being incompatible for life. One of the things that can certainly create significant issues is the degree to which we change as individuals. Naturally, it is never going to be at the same pace and the same degree. Sometimes, in order to fully complete those changes within themselves, two people drift apart. Oftentimes, I can recall reconnecting during the course of my most recent 10-year relationship. However, we both starting to drift apart and rather than work at reconnecting, we drifted further apart. We entered the relationship with some of the issues that we were tackling, but certainly not all of them. I still deeply love him and try to keep in touch, which has made for an interesting life since then. I know that I still have a lot of growing and learning from the time we had and with some of the issues I grappled with (or avoided) before I met him. I still, in my heart, hope that we reconnect one day. I'm not holding out for it, but I continue to feel a deep bond that he expresses as well. We know that our relationship became toxic and that we had to separate or both of us would go down in flames. Luckily he had more strength at the time to make it happen. We live over 800 miles apart and haven't seen each other in more than 2 years, but I can honestly say that my love for him and desire for his ultimate happiness (even if it is not with me, which I consider to be more probable than a hoped-for reconnection).
You have to be honest with and to yourself. Is there anything left in the relationship? What drew you together in the first place? Are either (or both of you) demanding the other change from the person with whom you fell in love? Have you grown that far apart?
There will always be a sense of loss and, as it was not "your" choice to break-up, you will pine for the days when you were together. However, you must be honest with yourself and for him (should you truly love him as you express) about whether there is anything that remains that can help you through what will certainly be a struggle to reconnect.