Could you guys help me out please? My relationships is breaking..

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 08, 2015 10:38 AM GMT
    So I am 24 and my bf is 32. We've been together for 2 months now. We argue a lot because either we are totally different or totally the same. He's a kind of person that can't sit nor stay in one place for too long, he has to do something all the time

    The problem is that he can be jealous of me but whenever I am jealous he gets mad we do talk a lot but that doesn't make thing any better I think.

    He has a lot of gay mates and he's TOO socialble, I mean he would go out everyday as he said he loved it. I am not THAt sociable and I would want to spend some time with him alone. - but he cannot stay in one place for too long.
    WHen we get back from friends he is totally tired and goes to bed. He told me he loved me many times and there's no way I don't turn him on.

    but, getting back to the topic, my bf's ex is now in a relationship. We met few time ( me , m bf and them 2) and yesterday my bf started chatting with his ex's bf as he wanted to get to know him closer, and when I asked why, he got mad at me and we argued for like 3 hours later on/.



    p.s me and my bf decided to be together at the 2nd meeting. I know it is too fast. What I hated is that he wanted to introduce me to all his friends in the 1st week of our relationship. It was too much for me.
    and later on due to his 'can't stay in 1 place for too long thing' when we are being together I feel like we're being apart cuz his attention is always focused on anything else other than me.

    Do you have any advice? WOuld you help?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 08, 2015 10:46 AM GMT
    Yes, fund someone you're compatible with.
  • NealJohn

    Posts: 184

    Jun 08, 2015 12:23 PM GMT
    Dump him. Your relationship is too new to be having these many problems. And the 8 year age difference will eventually catch up, though it sounds like it started to already. Good luck
  • bobbobbob

    Posts: 2812

    Jun 08, 2015 1:31 PM GMT

    By any standards two months/60 days isn't long enough to call what you-two are doing a relationship. Deciding to "be together" on the 2nd meeting is a rare way for real relationships to start.

    The jealousy issues are big red flags that neither of you are mature enough/stable enough for a real relationship.

    I'm not saying it can't work out for you guys, but nowhere in your OP did you mention anything about you being in love with or him in love with you. Do not misconstrue jealousy as an indicator of love. No offense intended but from your words and your description of him, you guys need to get as far from each other as possible.

    By the way. Ignore comments about the age difference. Eight years age difference is nothing. I was exactly your age when I began a relationship with a guy close to the age difference you and the other guy have. We were together 23 great/amazing/unbelievable years and still would be but thanks to fog, a milk truck ran into his stalled car on a three mile long bridge back in 1995.

    Iceland eh? You need to meet friends of mine from there who've been together for 20+ years. They were just here for about the 15th time 2 weeks ago. They'll adopt you and help you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 08, 2015 1:37 PM GMT
    Can't you two talk calmly?

    Sounds like too much drama, if I were you I wouldn't waste my time with him. It's barely 2 months, yet the argument is too much. Can't imagine myself living in hell for 2 months, 2 years or 20 years.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 08, 2015 2:13 PM GMT
    i would be very careful about the arguments.
    i am sorry, i would have an exit plan.

    all couples argue, for successful couples it just seems like its not a personal assault.

    takes 2 to argue
    if one starts tell him you love him, meant what you said and walk out of the room, seems for you two; all logic is dissipated and you will not get your needs met anyways.

    best of luck
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 08, 2015 4:10 PM GMT
    Yeah this doesn't sound like this is going anywhere good.
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    Jun 08, 2015 4:28 PM GMT
    Am I reading this correctly? You moved in with him after your 2nd meeting?

    Perhaps part of the problem is that, since y'all are living together, he feels the need to get out of the house and see other people whereas you are content just spending time with him. Perhaps y'all could try to live apart and see each other x times per week or whenever you both want to see each other.
  • SinfulWays

    Posts: 542

    Jun 08, 2015 7:10 PM GMT
    If I were you I'd find a time consuming hobby that takes ALL of your focus off of him! Do You Boo!!!! If he can't focus on you then Someone more caring of your feelings will!!! You are Hella Cute!!!
  • hebrewman

    Posts: 1367

    Jun 09, 2015 12:40 AM GMT
    if you argue this much after a few months together, it will never get better. i only wish i saw these signs when i entered into a very toxic and unstable relationship for 18 years. i'm free of him now, but, the ensuing years prior to our eventual split were a roller coaster of ride. you need to get yourself a way out of this one for good. and fast. for your own sanity. RUN! AND DO NOT LOOK BACK.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 09, 2015 4:51 AM GMT
    The relationship is doomed. Cut your loses and move on.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 09, 2015 4:55 AM GMT
    KJSharp saidAm I reading this correctly? You moved in with him after your 2nd meeting?

    ...


    It happens.

    I met my ex at a club. We danced and then walked off the dance floor and into his apt and he and I were together for over three years.
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    Jun 09, 2015 5:49 AM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    KJSharp saidAm I reading this correctly? You moved in with him after your 2nd meeting?

    ...


    It happens.

    I met my ex at a club. We danced and then walked off the dance floor and into his apt and he and I were together for over three years.


    I mean, did you sell your home and move in with him within a week of meeting him?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 09, 2015 7:55 AM GMT
    Thank you guys a lot for your replies

    No I did not move to his house, we just spend a lot of time together so it looks as if I lived at his.

    We've decided that we'll stay together and will see what's gonna happen. Yesterday I really saw that he cared, I saw he really didn't want to lose me, he said he loved me and stuff ( I think I fell in love with him too) and he meant it ( he's this kind of person that he means what he says). I understood that he is just this kind of person 'overactive'( as my dad and my sister xD ) and now it is just funny somehow for me.

    I hope we're gonna make it in some way and get along, if not we'll break up.

    WHen it comes to sex, I have never felt that good there ( I am bottom ) he just makes me ahhhh explode inside.
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    Jun 09, 2015 10:07 AM GMT
    justasking saidThank you guys a lot for your replies

    No I did not move to his house, we just spend a lot of time together so it looks as if I lived at his.

    We've decided that we'll stay together and will see what's gonna happen. Yesterday I really saw that he cared, I saw he really didn't want to lose me, he said he loved me and stuff ( I think I fell in love with him too) and he meant it ( he's this kind of person that he means what he says). I understood that he is just this kind of person 'overactive'( as my dad and my sister xD ) and now it is just funny somehow for me.

    I hope we're gonna make it in some way and get along, if not we'll break up.

    WHen it comes to sex, I have never felt that good there ( I am bottom ) he just makes me ahhhh explode inside.


    Talk calmly over difference, don't try to add fuels to the fire too. Cool down when one of you is starting to get mad. It is also important to tell him your bottom line and you should respect his too. His personality sounds like a big man, haha!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 09, 2015 1:46 PM GMT
    he's one of the most manly gay man I've ever met icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 09, 2015 1:52 PM GMT
    justasking saidhe's one of the most manly gay man I've ever met icon_biggrin.gif


    No wonder!
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1165

    Jun 09, 2015 8:34 PM GMT
    You're young and impressionable and probably being played like a fiddle. Anyone my age who is honest with themselves wouldn't legitimately "date" a 24 year old, even though the sex would be amazing icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 10, 2015 12:37 AM GMT
    You need to choose someone you're more compatible with.

    Here's the test: are you willing to accept him for who he is? If the answer is no, you need to find someone else.

    Life is way too short for drama, closets, or being cranky. Don't force the relationship.

    From here, it sounds like you just aren't compatible.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 10, 2015 6:09 AM GMT
    justasking saidThank you guys a lot for your replies

    No I did not move to his house, we just spend a lot of time together so it looks as if I lived at his.

    We've decided that we'll stay together and will see what's gonna happen. Yesterday I really saw that he cared, I saw he really didn't want to lose me, he said he loved me and stuff ( I think I fell in love with him too) and he meant it ( he's this kind of person that he means what he says). I understood that he is just this kind of person 'overactive'( as my dad and my sister xD ) and now it is just funny somehow for me.

    I hope we're gonna make it in some way and get along, if not we'll break up.

    WHen it comes to sex, I have never felt that good there ( I am bottom ) he just makes me ahhhh explode inside.


    If the only thing you have going for your relationship is sex, you might as well be friends with benefits because you have nothing else to build the foundation of your relationship. I can guarantee you his eyes are always somewhere else.

    At 32 this guy is still a player and you're too naïve and gullible to realize it. The longer you stay with him the more you'll resent him later. He's telling you he loves you because you're a younger guy and it's a trophy for him. Anyone will tell you they love you if you make them cum.

    Two months is no relationship, that's called a fling. Good luck and keep us updated.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 10, 2015 6:43 AM GMT
    You know guys, It's all not like that, I know, from above, when you don't know him and me in person you can say stuff like this- whenever I make him cum he loves me, - he isn't with me for sex only, believe or not we don't make it every day - I could do it but he's 32 so maybe the age does not allow him to do it that frequently.

    He is not a romantic kind of guy and he told me that a few times, though once he prepared a romantic supper.
    Every day he picks me from my work to his crib and we don't make sex - you could think he does it for that reason. We drink coffee, hug and stuff. In the morning he drives me home, he's not sex-obssesed person. He's been in a 9 year long relationship. During one quarrel he just cried like a baby cuz he didn't want to lose me,

    some asked me here if I was gonna accept him as he is, I think yes I think I can if he accepts me for who I am..

    Frankly, I cannot say that he is with me cuz he wanna play me, and sex is all he wants, If we ever gonna break up it's not gonna be for that reason as it's me who want sex more often.

    I did tell him that we can be just friends and stuff we can have sex, get to know other gay people, and he told me that he wanna be my man not sex friend.

    You know the problem is that we have to get eachother better, he is not expressive when it comes to feelings but I am scared right now cuz I don't know what's happening with me cuz everytime I see him, even though we see each other all the time I wanna hug him I can look at him all the time, wow it is a strange good feeling.

    ok. but any way, if we don't gonna make it I'll never gonna be in a relationship again icon_smile.gif

    It is my 4th relationship, my last relationship lasted for 4 years, I quite didn't ant to be ith that guy but he was so in love, he was my age and anytime I wanted to break up He just got depressed and I was sympathetic to him and after 3 yers I fell in love but then it kind of spoilt in a relationship and he turned out to be the worst asshole I'd ever met before.

    WHY IS THAT anytime you show how much you love somebody this person starts to be kind of ...cold..
    shouldn't I show my current man my love too much ? shouldn't I sho how much I care of him?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 10, 2015 8:40 AM GMT
    I'm behind you totally, buddy! I'm getting the feeling that your boyfriend isn't exactly the type to express his feelings as well. Believe in him, prove the others here wrong. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 10, 2015 10:34 AM GMT
    hahaha oh yea, I'ma prove it icon_biggrin.gif
    but honestly, I won't worry about it, It'll happen what's gonna happen,

    but TBH I am too clingy I think I have to control it somehow, I don't feel good when I tell him he's adroable all the time cuz it's not in my style to act that way icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 10, 2015 12:02 PM GMT
    The only way he'll change his actions toward you is by having other guys show interest in you and act on it.

    Sometimes people need to see the risk of losing someone to someone else in order to give them the attention. If you see each other all the time and you're too clingy then that is all on you. Doting on someone is nice, but over time it can become annoying and irritating.

    If all you do is give compliments and I love you's all the time some people just don't want to hear it constantly.

    Relationships are about growth and learning. If you can overcome issues then you strengthen the connection. If you revisit the same problem over and over it breaks at the foundation.

    You are only two months into a relationship and the fighting constantly is not a good sign. If you can get over that obstacle then things should improve. You need to try and have more confidence in yourself so get over the attention he is giving towards other guys. If he crosses the line then you need to move on.
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    Jun 10, 2015 5:57 PM GMT
    KJSharp said
    UndercoverMan said
    KJSharp saidAm I reading this correctly? You moved in with him after your 2nd meeting?

    ...


    It happens.

    I met my ex at a club. We danced and then walked off the dance floor and into his apt and he and I were together for over three years.


    I mean, did you sell your home and move in with him within a week of meeting him?


    No. I divorced my wife and gave her the house.