Finding Your Strengths

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 09, 2015 6:08 PM GMT
    I was having a discussion with a friend who told me that I need to develop self-confidence and find a way to utilize my strengths in order to meet other men and potentially catch a date. Ultimately, the goal is to put myself out there, and though I know well enough to be myself, I'm not certain what my strong attributes are, or what I have to offer. I've been told I'm a poetic soul, intelligent, and that my reserved nature gives off a mysterious vibe. To be honest, I never thought I came off as intelligent because I believed my manner of speech was the same compared to others, and not sure if my creative writing experience could conjure up a few pick-up lines as suggested. He also suggested that my dance experience (which has gotten me somewhat of an audience when clubbing) could attract others as well. How does one present themselves as appealing, or find their strengths and utilize them in dating efforts? My apologies for asking a fatuous question that has been asked before in the past.

    Also, what are your strengths?
  • Chastize

    Posts: 56

    Jun 09, 2015 10:43 PM GMT
    My strengths when it comes to dating efforts?

    Nothing comes to mind.

    I think I may have more weaknesses than strengths in that department, and I'm fine with that. icon_cool.gif

  • calamedes

    Posts: 69

    Jun 10, 2015 7:24 PM GMT
    I'm also of the thinking type and seriously appreciate a good conversation. The need to explore everything I come across has come in handy, both intellectually and otherwise ;)
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 874

    Jun 11, 2015 4:44 AM GMT
    Only you know what your real strengths are. Think of your life being a voyage of self-discovery.

    Stop short of 'putting yourself out there' and trying to 'catch a date'. We are all doing this, but the successful dudes make it appear casual, natural, and not planned, forced, carefully crafted and designed. The moment a dude notices that you have an agenda, beyond being totally casual and relaxed, he is likely to see the proverbial red flags, and he will most likely, run for the hills. Do not give the 'I am on the mission' vibe. This scares other folks, and possibly brandmarks you as needy, likely to be manipulative in order to achieve your goals.

    Adopt a positive attitude towards sex. Few guys will be really interested in dating someone for a long time before they get to check the compatibility issuesicon_biggrin.gif. This does NOT go on to say that you should be hopping in the hay with the first dude willing, though. Adopt a reasonable attitude, and show willingness to give it a try beyond the usual chat and the drinks.

    Who are interesting people? People who are interested in things. Show some passion, interest, and achievement, however modest these may be at whatever you are doing. Success is a very powerful people magnet.

    Look at the people around you. Those who are dating, having friends and fun, are not all superhumans. They just managed to market themselves better on the dating market. If they can do it, you can do it, too.

    SC
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 11, 2015 4:54 PM GMT
    Thank you. It's not that I have a negative attitude towards sex, I just possess self-contempt about inexperience, and don't know how to market myself at all. I'm not entirely sure what my strengths are other than my supposed intelligence, affability, and being the strong and silent type.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 12, 2015 3:25 PM GMT
    Junny said...and being the strong and silent type.
    ´╗┐´╗┐communication is so needed in a relationship, dont see being the strong silent type a strong selling point. Be the strong supportive type.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 12, 2015 11:44 PM GMT
    pellaz said
    Junny said...and being the strong and silent type.
    ´╗┐´╗┐communication is so needed in a relationship, dont see being the strong silent type a strong selling point. Be the strong supportive type.


    Good point. I'm quite the bore, though.