BF is close to ex-fwb

  • timcoolkid

    Posts: 69

    Jun 09, 2015 9:56 PM GMT
    I met and started dating someone
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    Jun 09, 2015 11:11 PM GMT
    Are you exaggerating when you say he hangs out with both of them once or twice a week? That would compute to not leaving much free time for being with you?

    Is it normal to hang out with ex-FWBs who are now just friends? Yes, if they were true friends. Why should someone totally abandon friends because he has a new BF? OTOH, if you were in the same city, one would expect that he would be spending a lot of free time with you. But you're not. Anyone planning on relocating?
  • timcoolkid

    Posts: 69

    Jun 09, 2015 11:27 PM GMT
    Well when we're spending time together, he would not hang out with them. But when we're in different cities, he does tend to hang out with them like once a week (a few hours or so)...and yes we did talk about relocation and we are both open to move if we get to that level.
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    Jun 10, 2015 4:23 AM GMT
    That does sound suspicious, but you need to trust in him if it's a serious relationship.

    Honesty is also needed. It means you two should be honest about each other's bottom line.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 901

    Jun 10, 2015 12:57 PM GMT
    I wouldn't worry about this too much. Your BF is not a monk, or an hermit living in total seclusion. When you are there, he spends his time with you. That's what matters. You cannot expect him to stop seeing his friends just because he is an relationship with you or with anyone else for that matter.

    You'll have to recognize that his history does not begin with you. His friends have been there for him for a while now. So, he continues seeing them, and socializing rather than being alone, unhappy, and possibly getting depressed over it. People are social animals after all.

    Now, you have to extend a degree of trust to your BF. And he has to do the same to you. Living in fear that you are cheating each other would destroy every relationship even before it really starts.

    Consider designing a plan to live together. Sure, no one wants to rush the things, but having an open endgame is probably not the wisest thing to do if you want this relationship to last.