70% of Gay Couples Met Online

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    Jun 13, 2015 11:36 PM GMT
    NYT: By 2009, half of all straight couples still met through friends or at a bar or restaurant, but 22 percent met online, and all other sources had shrunk. Remarkably, almost 70 percent of gay and lesbian couples met online, according to the Stanford sociologist Michael J. Rosenfeld, who compiled this data

    There are techniques for making the search for love more effective and less exhausting.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/14/opinion/sunday/how-to-make-online-dating-work.html
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    Jun 14, 2015 12:58 AM GMT
    Quoting from the article:

    TOO MANY OPTIONS (...)

    One way to avoid this problem is to give each jam a fair chance. Remember: Although we are initially attracted to people by their physical appearance and traits we can quickly recognize, the things that make us fall for someone are their deeper, more personal qualities, which come out only during sustained interactions. Psychologists like Robert B. Zajonc have established the “mere exposure effect”: Repeated exposure to a stimulus tends to enhance one’s feelings toward it.


    I like the repeated exposure approach. This is what I tell guys I meet on apps:

    Keep seeing or fucking other guys as you wish. I have no problem with that. But let's see each other regularly. Just as friends, no agenda. If you get needy, pushy, give gratuitous compliments and sexual or romantic innuendo, I'll back off. Never give me more than I give you. Let things take their natural course.
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    Jun 14, 2015 7:42 PM GMT
    moneypazweather saidThink it shows the effects of living in a homophobic society and the stigma of being gay. If being gay was acceptable, i'm sure there would be more guys taking chances to step up to guys in person asking them out.

    Personally I think that online dating makes it easier to find people around the area you live at bit it also doesn't really allow people to see who they're dealing with. Plenty of folks lie about who they are in real life online to make themselves seem more dateable. Its basically working with words and pictures. I prefer to actually interact with people in person than online.


    Not so much homophobia, in my opinion. It's just that only 5% of guys are gay, so it's gonna be a long, frustrating road if you try to approach people in person all the time.
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    Jun 14, 2015 8:47 PM GMT
    CFL_Oakland said
    moneypazweather saidThink it shows the effects of living in a homophobic society and the stigma of being gay. If being gay was acceptable, i'm sure there would be more guys taking chances to step up to guys in person asking them out.

    Personally I think that online dating makes it easier to find people around the area you live at bit it also doesn't really allow people to see who they're dealing with. Plenty of folks lie about who they are in real life online to make themselves seem more dateable. Its basically working with words and pictures. I prefer to actually interact with people in person than online.


    Not so much homophobia, in my opinion. It's just that only 5% of guys are gay, so it's gonna be a long, frustrating road if you try to approach people in person all the time.
    That's true, unless you're a social butterfly who's always out meeting new people. I met my best friend just from riding the bike by his house and seeing him in the yard and inviting him over for dinner and drinks. I'd always seen him riding his bike really fast through the neighborhood, and just so happens he'd seen me too. After a few months of hanging out, he opened up as bi so now we're FWBs.
  • mwolverine

    Posts: 3386

    Jun 15, 2015 3:56 AM GMT
    It's still surprising that we don't help our friends more and introduce people.
    (On the other hand, I remember how awkward that is....)

    On-line also allows people to find people "long-distance".
    You know, after you've already gone through all the locals. lol.

    Seriously, though, I always figured the best thing was to have gay groups and events (from sports to book clubs) so that people with similar interests could meet. Yet as society has become less homophobic, younger generations see less of a need for such. They (unlike older generations, generally speaking) are out to their friends (already in college or even high school). And when it comes to intimacy, well, they have the internet....
  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Jun 16, 2015 3:01 AM GMT
    No surprise, we are only like 5% of the population

    Not all guys have access to bars/clubs and the ones that go see and know the same guys each time, so online brings a spread out world and makes it closer and seem bigger
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    Jun 16, 2015 3:04 AM GMT
    Well duh, this would explain why so many familiar face guys that kept stalking me on OKC and I've done the same to like 2-3 guys. icon_redface.gificon_redface.gificon_redface.gificon_lol.gif
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Jun 17, 2015 1:03 AM GMT
    I have to agree, it's no surprise because gay people don't make up the entire population like heterosexual people do. And when it comes to guys, there's that added awkardness that if you like a guy in person, you have no idea if he is gay or not unless you have good gaydar lol.

    So online is the best alternative to meeting guys. Yeah, there are a lot of crazies online but not everyone is lol.
  • Zigs_01

    Posts: 226

    Jul 04, 2015 12:00 PM GMT
    I've meet other gay people in real life but I wasn't into them. I do have a specific person I had in mind for a relationship.
  • buddycat

    Posts: 1874

    Jul 05, 2015 6:57 PM GMT
    It's no secret things are different for straight people. They can meet at work, through friends, at the supermarket or wherever. If you are gay, your options are much more limited. There are bars and online or people you have seen online or in bars.
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    Jul 06, 2015 5:59 AM GMT
    I'm dating a guy currently, we met on Ok Cupid. SO yeah it works sometimes. icon_biggrin.gif