Why do I check out other guys while being in a relationship. I feel gulity for doing this.?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 14, 2015 9:35 AM GMT
    SO I've been in a relationship for several months now and I love my bf he turns me on very much.. but I look at other guys, e.g when there's gonna be a party and there;s gonna be a man I like I realy wanna go there....

    If this is normal does my bf have the same? I would be upset if I knew he'd want to go to party just because there's gonna be someone he likes...
  • thedaniell

    Posts: 3

    Jun 14, 2015 2:59 PM GMT
    I am the same way... I've been with my bf for 9 months and I am in love. I dont think it's wrong to look at other guys... It's not like you're getting in bed with them, are you? I wouldn't feel guilty just for looking at handsome dudes..
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    Jun 14, 2015 5:47 PM GMT
    no no looking is OK but checking out or something .. like observing or going to party because a person u like is there..
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Jun 14, 2015 5:53 PM GMT
    Everyone likes to look. And it's OK if you're excited to see someone. We don't turn off all instincts just because we've found someone special. Acting on those instincts is what's wrong. The best way to handle this is to trust your partner and be open with him. Point out the guys you think are hot and ask him who he thinks is hot. The more you do that the more you'll come to trust and feel like you understand your guy and he you. That builds on your relationship.
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    Jun 15, 2015 2:04 PM GMT
    other guys are just another citizen. Lucky if i dont run them over.
    I guess other man serve as a reference; hair style, dress, attitude... where i might or might not want to go with my self.
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  • Svnw688

    Posts: 3350

    Jun 15, 2015 4:13 PM GMT
    Looking is fine.

    OVERLY engaging said person in conversation or other flirtatious behavior, not fine. Your attending a party BECAUSE of a guy that's there, not fine. Your attending a party, happening to inadvertently see a guy you like there, and briefly talking to him like you would another friend, that is fine.

    That distinction is subtle, but there is a meaning. You should not be changing your social calendar to attend parties other guys you like to look at, or talk to, are there.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 16, 2015 2:58 AM GMT
    Honestly I feel like this is normal and it's fine. It's okay to check out and find other guys attractive. When I was with my ex, we went clubbing in the Castro and SoMa a couple times, I remembered this one time this one Blond tourist guy from Chicago was groping me in front of my bf. I told him I was attached. Then He left for his hotel, Yes I have thought of going to his hotel and just fuck/screw with him all night long but I refrained myself. icon_redface.gif Lol, it seems like you get hit on more when you're not single. But yeah, you have to draw the line between looking, lusting and taking actions. It's like it's not cool to be a hoe/slut or a cheater when you're in a relationship. When you're single, do whatever you want.

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    Jun 20, 2015 11:35 AM GMT
    It depends on what your bf is like but for me I am happy for you to check out other guys as long as you point them out to me so I can join in. Although if they are not as good as you think they are, I reserve the right to say "Really?"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 22, 2015 8:40 AM GMT
    Ohno saidIt depends on what your bf is like but for me I am happy for you to check out other guys as long as you point them out to me so I can join in. Although if they are not as good as you think they are, I reserve the right to say "Really?"



    Lol god you're so judgy !! lol haha jk, this reply reminds of a game where 2 gay guys try to judge guys passing by and they say *Fuck or pass !! Oh wait, we have a game of that here. icon_twisted.gificon_razz.gificon_redface.gif