would you put up with domestic abuse

  • ZakSayWhat

    Posts: 573

    Jun 15, 2015 6:48 AM GMT
    if you knew your partner was your last shot at love. and you loved him anyways?
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    Jun 15, 2015 6:51 AM GMT
    ZakSayWhat saidif you knew your partner was your last shot at love. and you loved him anyways?


    How would you even know he's your last shot at love????
  • ZakSayWhat

    Posts: 573

    Jun 15, 2015 6:54 AM GMT
    i think everyone has a realistic idea when it's their last shot
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    Jun 15, 2015 6:55 AM GMT
    ZakSayWhat saidi think everyone has a realistic idea when it's their last shot



    No they don't.

    I believe there are MANY love of our lives out there....you just have to find them....icon_smile.gif
  • ZakSayWhat

    Posts: 573

    Jun 15, 2015 6:56 AM GMT
    i don't, i had my love and i ruined it by thinking i deserved better.
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    Jun 15, 2015 6:58 AM GMT
    ZakSayWhat saidi don't, i had my love and i ruined it by thinking i deserved better.


    No. You're just fat and have no self confidence. Let's be honest.

    You may have blew it, but there is SOMONE for EVERYONE out there. (except Spazzy)


    This is me trying to be helpful. But it's the truth!!!
  • ZakSayWhat

    Posts: 573

    Jun 15, 2015 7:01 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 said
    ZakSayWhat saidi don't, i had my love and i ruined it by thinking i deserved better.


    No. You're just fat and have no self confidence. Let's be honest.

    You may have blew it, but there is SOMONE for EVERYONE out there. (except Spazzy)


    This is me trying to be helpful. But it's the truth!!!


    it is the truth duh.

    i recognise it too
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    Jun 15, 2015 7:04 AM GMT
    ZakSayWhat said
    jmusmc85 said
    ZakSayWhat saidi don't, i had my love and i ruined it by thinking i deserved better.


    No. You're just fat and have no self confidence. Let's be honest.

    You may have blew it, but there is SOMONE for EVERYONE out there. (except Spazzy)


    This is me trying to be helpful. But it's the truth!!!


    it is the truth duh.

    i recognise it too


    It's ok boo boo. Like I said....someone will come...but don't expect them to come tomorrow or just land at your door step....love takes time....
  • ZakSayWhat

    Posts: 573

    Jun 15, 2015 7:09 AM GMT
    dont want love bae


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    Jun 15, 2015 7:55 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 said
    ZakSayWhat said
    jmusmc85 said
    ZakSayWhat saidi don't, i had my love and i ruined it by thinking i deserved better.


    No. You're just fat and have no self confidence. Let's be honest.

    You may have blew it, but there is SOMONE for EVERYONE out there. (except Spazzy)


    This is me trying to be helpful. But it's the truth!!!


    it is the truth duh.

    i recognise it too


    It's ok boo boo. Like I said....someone will come...but don't expect them to come tomorrow or just land at your door step....love takes time....
    Pfft...just ask any lesbian...all it takes for love is a Uhaul and a hot tub.
  • Svnw688

    Posts: 3350

    Jun 15, 2015 3:24 PM GMT
    No, I would not put up with domestic violence. One drunk fight where things went a little too far? Meh, it might happen. But physical violence on a consistent basis? Oh hell no. If it started to be a pattern (really the second or third time) and I'd be calling the cops.

    I am not a punching bag, nor will I be treated as such. Period, full stop. Not to mention these things tend to escalate, so what starts as a stray hit here or there, turns into more regular violence and worse violence (i.e., using bats, skillets and other hard objects). That's some bull crap and I'll check it as soon as it starts.

    I don't have a zero tolerance policy, it's not one 'hit' and I walk away, because honestly what's the difference between a play shove and "pushing"? But, no, force is not an available option in a relationship. Fool me once, fine. There won't be a twice without a cop taking my statement and possibly your rear going to jail for a few hours. You'll learn your lesson soon enough.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Jun 15, 2015 3:35 PM GMT
    Svnw688 saidNo, I would not put up with domestic violence. One drunk fight where things went a little too far? Meh, it might happen. But physical violence on a consistent basis? Oh hell no. If it started to be a pattern (really the second or third time) and I'd be calling the cops.

    I am not a punching bag, nor will I be treated as such. Period, full stop. Not to mention these things tend to escalate, so what starts as a stray hit here or there, turns into more regular violence and worse violence (i.e., using bats, skillets and other hard objects). That's some bull crap and I'll check it as soon as it starts.

    I don't have a zero tolerance policy, it's not one 'hit' and I walk away, because honestly what's the difference between a play shove and "pushing"? But, no, force is not an available option in a relationship. Fool me once, fine. There won't be a twice without a cop taking my statement and possibly your rear going to jail for a few hours. You'll learn your lesson soon enough.

    Totally agree. Except I probably wouldn't call cops. I'd check into a hotel and arrange to either move or kick him out. I can't imagine my guy hitting me out of anger.

    As to the OP's question, 85 has it right. But you've got to make the effort. If you're out of shape get in shape. If you don't know how to meet guys, figure it out. If you don't make the effort to be an interesting, attractive person, you won't find a guy who finds you interesting and attractive. You don't have to be extraordinary, just bring something to the table. You can't be a lazy fart and expect someone to see some inner you that not even you sees.
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    Jun 15, 2015 5:50 PM GMT
    I never have a "last shot at love" because I love myself - too much to put up with any abuse. No one, nowhere, no how has the right to abuse me.
  • Elian

    Posts: 60

    Jun 15, 2015 6:27 PM GMT
    If you think you have no other chance at love because of your appearance... well then change you appearance.

    I bet that the percentage of people that do not fit the traditional bauty standarts and find love is way higher than the percentage of people who just sits and complain, so go for it. Make getting self confidence your objective and leave love for later.


    About domestic abuse... definitely no, not even once... I don't think i would hit him back as that's not how I am but that would be the end of it. Not even verbal violence, I have been trough enough already to let anyone (who on top of that is supposed to love me) belittle me. The very moment my ex after insulted me (with the intent of hurting and for an stupid reason) I just told him to fuck off and would do it again. And we were even talking of moving together.
  • Chastize

    Posts: 56

    Jun 15, 2015 6:32 PM GMT
    I would never put up with anything, someone once said; "I rather be alone, than unhappy"
  • ZakSayWhat

    Posts: 573

    Jun 15, 2015 6:39 PM GMT
    tbh a lot of you need to get real

  • ZakSayWhat

    Posts: 573

    Jun 15, 2015 6:41 PM GMT
    did none of your parents ever hit you; just coz someone hits doesn't mean they don't love you
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    Jun 15, 2015 7:54 PM GMT
    ZakSayWhat saiddid none of your parents ever hit you; just coz someone hits doesn't mean they don't love you


    That's where it starts!

    It's a learned behavior.

    If my abusive partner was my "last shot at love" I'd go without, even if I actually thought that. How desperate for love do you have to be to put up with abuse? (VERY!)

    Some have gone so far to say that: when they hit you, it means they love you. It's a defense that holds no water.

    My parents never hit me, I've never hit a partner.
    I had an abusive BF years ago, he attacked me in a recliner chair....a sucker punch. We were breaking up, several times actually. We flew around the apartment knocking everything over. After a few go arounds I had him on the couch, my forearm across his neck.....pressed, I said "What the FUCK do you want??????"

    He said some inane crap about furniture and other items. "You got it....now get the fuck out of my life" was my reply and I let the bastard loose.

    It only occurred to me later I never hit him. As angry as I was I had no interest in hurting him, I just wanted to contain him. And move along.



  • ZakSayWhat

    Posts: 573

    Jun 15, 2015 8:15 PM GMT
    i have never hit anyone tbh and never will. i'm far too quiet in real life. but my parents did hit me to discipline or make sure i was doing something right. its just them their culture
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    Jun 15, 2015 8:19 PM GMT
    Cry for attention again haha ^^ you seem to do them a lot here icon_razz.gif
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    Jun 15, 2015 8:20 PM GMT
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  • venue35

    Posts: 4644

    Jun 15, 2015 8:22 PM GMT
    I was in an abusive relationship.
    Constantly being put down and being treated like garbage. Some major ass whooping went down on my behalf but he is still the same and will never change.
  • ZakSayWhat

    Posts: 573

    Jun 15, 2015 8:41 PM GMT
    Remington47 saidCry for attention again haha ^^ you seem to do them a lot here icon_razz.gif


    i love attention obvs

    who doesn't


    its because im such a wallflower irl
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    Jun 15, 2015 8:49 PM GMT
    would you put up with domestic abuse

    No. As I've written here before, it happened to me only once. With a guy with whom I was living. I left him ASAP. Despite at 52 my chances at love were quickly diminishing.

    The upside was it was quickly followed by my meeting my future first partner, something that likely wouldn't have happened if I'd stayed with the abuser, in what was already not a great relationship. Miracles do happen.

    Which may go to prove the old adage: "Every cloud has a silver lining." icon_biggrin.gif
  • ZakSayWhat

    Posts: 573

    Jun 15, 2015 8:50 PM GMT
    David_Lauderdale saidgiphy.gif



    basically you would punch me?


    <3