Looking beyond appearance

  • Matthew56

    Posts: 392

    Jun 15, 2015 8:00 PM GMT
    In terms of dating can you consider dating men that are not considered to be attractive by you or gay standards if they had a warm character and a great personality or would it be too much as you have to go with the gay standards of having a hot guy under your arm
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    Jun 15, 2015 8:03 PM GMT
    Maybe not having a warm character and great personality is the problem since lots of gay men would go for your type.
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    Jun 15, 2015 8:14 PM GMT
    I only date guys who are so hot and sexy that even straight guys wanna touch them.
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    Jun 15, 2015 8:18 PM GMT
    Yea. Consider dating guys that ARE attracted to your type, rather than hoping to date guys that are not.

    That said, an attractive personality is at least as important as physical attraction. A big part of that is confidence and self-security. In other words, ACT attractive and you'll be perceived that way more.

    Your desperate search for validation here shows total insecurity and zero confidence. Work on that. It's a bigger problem than any physical one.



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    Jun 15, 2015 11:29 PM GMT
    I'm willing to date someone I don't initially have the hots for so long as I'm not initially repelled by their looks. (I hope people apply that standard to me as well...). Once I actually try dating such a person, I'm willing to give it a date or two to see if attraction grows based on their personality or general "je ne sais quoi." What is that "je ne sais quoi?" --- I guess it's a sort of energy or spark. Some guys just have it, even if they don't necessarily match up with "objective" standards of attractiveness.

  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jun 15, 2015 11:34 PM GMT
    Spammers are killing this web site...
  • charlitos666

    Posts: 290

    Jun 16, 2015 3:31 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidI only date guys who are so hot and sexy that even straight guys wanna touch them.


    cant blame you
  • charlitos666

    Posts: 290

    Jun 16, 2015 3:31 AM GMT
    Webster666 saidSpammers are killing this web site...


    This website died 2 years ago
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    Jun 16, 2015 3:59 AM GMT
    charlitos666 said
    Webster666 saidSpammers are killing this web site...


    This website died 2 years ago
    No it didn't. That was just a NDE. I'm still here and you're back, so the site still has potential. icon_cool.gif
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Jun 17, 2015 12:59 AM GMT
    I tend to battle with this and yeah, I have tried what David Lauderd said about trying to date a guy that's into you even if you aren't into them. But for me, I have to be attracted to the person I'm with to gain interest.

    However, my definition of "hot" isn't necessarily the staple ideal of the gay community (white, blonde hair, blue eyes, very youthful, etc.) I tend to find a lot of different things attractive. I have talked to a few guys who weren't initially my type who I would have wanted to go on a date with but they lived in different states/countries haha.

    But yeah, I think that at the end of the day, depending on you, I feel that you have to be physically attracted (even just a little) to have a solid relationship. I'm not saying that there aren't guys who need physical attraction to have a relationship but it seems a majority do.
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    Jun 17, 2015 3:23 PM GMT
    Very uncommon that men in general are able to do this.
    They are more physically driven naturally and often won't even bother striking up conversation if they don't find you attractive, at least outside of work or social obligation.

    People always say that a personality is a must in order for a relationship to have some kind of longevity.
    The catch 22 here is that you could have the best personality in the world and most guys would generally never know since they wouldn't really try chat to you in the first place if they didn't find you attractive.

    So in reality, even though people aren't the perfect mix of the two things themselves, often people want someone who is.
    Not all men of course, but generally speaking the common man is very much like this.

    That I feel just becomes intensified in a gay setting since gay men generally are much more vain about looks than the average guy.
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    Jun 17, 2015 5:54 PM GMT
    Probably not, because I think that physical beauty is important. This kinda reminded me of an episode in Million Match maker, this one *chubby girl lust and went after a hot hunky guy but he didn't want her, one other short chubby guy with great personality really liked her and she turned him down. In other words, She goes for guys out of her league. I've tried to date guys who are not my type in the past and I realized that they don't turn me on in the bedroom. So now, I'm just sticking to my usual same type or familiar guys I dated/slept with. icon_redface.gificon_biggrin.gif As for personality, you don't really know a person for a long time, so it's just exhausting to get to know someone if you're not attracted to them. That sounds harsh but true.