How important is sex for you in a relationship?

  • LuisG_82

    Posts: 37

    Jun 19, 2015 5:48 AM GMT
    Since I have had some a couple of relationships, in one of them the sex was great but it was bad in some other aspects, and another one where everything was fine, but sex wasn't the best part of the relationship.

    that is why i had this question. How important is sex for you in a relationship?
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 871

    Jun 19, 2015 6:13 AM GMT
    The default is "yes". Sex is important in an LTR.

    Now, an important exception is the case of two guys who are sexually more on the negative side, do not have high sex drive, and are rather focusing on other things.

    The problems really occur if you have a sexually very positive person in a relationship with a sexully negative guy, who does not think or feel that sex matters that much.

    SC
  • mar0302

    Posts: 273

    Jun 19, 2015 6:31 AM GMT
    It's about compatibility. I like sex, and I want my partner (when/if I have one again) to want and like sex too. Even when I'm not necessarily in the mood for it, a good partner can get me in the mood... it's hot when that happens..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 19, 2015 7:04 AM GMT
    Sex is important, yet not the most important thing fron a relationship.

    Let me give you an extreme example, what if your other half becomes sexual dyfuntional? Will you leave him?
  • LuisG_82

    Posts: 37

    Jun 19, 2015 7:06 AM GMT
    I start thinking about it, after checking all this profiles with Open Relationship status,

    In which moment the people decide to look for the things one don't have in a relationship (not only sex), and talk openly about it with the partner?





  • LuisG_82

    Posts: 37

    Jun 19, 2015 7:08 AM GMT
    MasterOfTheDomain saidSex is important, yet not the most important thing fron a relationship.

    Let me give you an extreme example, what if your other half becomes sexual dyfuntional? Will you leave him?


    Probably not at the beginning, but how long can you stay in a relationship like that?
  • bobbobbob

    Posts: 2812

    Jun 19, 2015 8:15 AM GMT
    LuisG_82 saidSince I have had some a couple of relationships, in one of them the sex was great but it was bad in some other aspects, and another one where everything was fine, but sex wasn't the best part of the relationship.

    that is why i had this question. How important is sex for you in a relationship?


    It's not an easy question to answer. There are so many variables to consider.

    Steve and I had to fit our sex life around his son and mine during the 1970s and 80's. So we were lucky to do it "right" once a week. Once the boys went off to college it was a sex free for all. Since he owned his business and I owned mine it was a joke at both about what he and I were doing on 2 hour lunch breaks. He was 50 and I was 46 when he died in car wreck. Sex was a reliable daily thing for us.

    After Steve I was pretty vulnerable for anyone who showed me attention. I got involved with with a 25 y/o hottie minor league Baseball player/trust fund baby with a penchant for older men. Boy was I stupid but the sex on demand was great. He was trading butt at night for his cocaine and pot importing business at my dock in the daytime. I'll be in my 80s when he gets out of prison.

    Then I met John... a recently retired USMC Colonel 9 years younger than me with two books to his credit who'd put off all gay contact until he was divorced and his kids were grown. Sex was unreal and I was living off Viagra just to to keep up with the demand. 22 months into the relationship he was diagnosed with cancer. His sexual needs went on another 11 years and 2 months, through a slow death process that I'd wish on no one. Ten hours before he died... a skeleton covered in bruised leather... he was begging for sex.

    Now........ let's get back to your question..... The answer is... "it varies" according to the situation.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 19, 2015 8:31 AM GMT
    LuisG_82 said
    MasterOfTheDomain saidSex is important, yet not the most important thing fron a relationship.

    Let me give you an extreme example, what if your other half becomes sexual dyfuntional? Will you leave him?


    Probably not at the beginning, but how long can you stay in a relationship like that?


    I believe it differs for everyone. icon_smile.gif I don't mind even for a bit if we couldn't have sex. For me that isn't the highlight of the whole relationship, it's just a part of it. If I build a relationship completely or heavily basing of from sex, then things are gonna get boring after a certain amount of time for that repetitive thrust, thrust, thrust cycle.
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    Jun 19, 2015 10:51 AM GMT
    For me, sex is like food. It's something that I crave and desire. It's natural and organic in nature. I've found, if you want to have a successful, happy relationship with someone, it's helps if you are on the same page sexually.
    Meaning, if you like morning sex before work, that the other is willing to be passionate. If you also like it that evening after work, that they still want you and don't say, hey, we just did that this morning.
    If I love someone, I'm ready 24/7. Finding that 24/7 man can be a challenge, but when you find him, put a ring on it and keep it satisfied.
    I have friends that are couples and not satisfied sexually with their partner and that's something I hope never to be.
  • tajsreve

    Posts: 418

    Jun 19, 2015 11:34 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidHow important is sex....?!





















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  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jun 19, 2015 3:32 PM GMT
    bobbobbob said
    LuisG_82 saidSince I have had some a couple of relationships, in one of them the sex was great but it was bad in some other aspects, and another one where everything was fine, but sex wasn't the best part of the relationship.

    that is why i had this question. How important is sex for you in a relationship?


    It's not an easy question to answer. There are so many variables to consider.

    Steve and I had to fit our sex life around his son and mine during the 1970s and 80's. So we were lucky to do it "right" once a week. Once the boys went off to college it was a sex free for all. Since he owned his business and I owned mine it was a joke at both about what he and I were doing on 2 hour lunch breaks. He was 50 and I was 46 when he died in car wreck. Sex was a reliable daily thing for us.

    After Steve I was pretty vulnerable for anyone who showed me attention. I got involved with with a 25 y/o hottie minor league Baseball player/trust fund baby with a penchant for older men. Boy was I stupid but the sex on demand was great. He was trading butt at night for his cocaine and pot importing business at my dock in the daytime. I'll be in my 80s when he gets out of prison.

    Then I met John... a recently retired USMC Colonel 9 years younger than me with two books to his credit who'd put off all gay contact until he was divorced and his kids were grown. Sex was unreal and I was living off Viagra just to to keep up with the demand. 22 months into the relationship he was diagnosed with cancer. His sexual needs went on another 11 years and 2 months, through a slow death process that I'd wish on no one. Ten hours before he died... a skeleton covered in bruised leather... he was begging for sex.

    Now........ let's get back to your question..... The answer is... "it varies" according to the situation.

    This reads like the world's worst gay porn.icon_cry.gif
  • ZakSayWhat

    Posts: 573

    Jun 19, 2015 5:23 PM GMT
    my first relationship was at 30 and i went a whole year without it coz he wasn't interested in me sexually and didn't find me physically attractive. its not reason why we split.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3515

    Jun 20, 2015 2:03 PM GMT
    Its a sore point in both my last relationships.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 20, 2015 2:32 PM GMT
    When you're in love you adapt to the other persons needs and they adapt to yours. You find a way to keep your man happy that works for both of you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 20, 2015 3:02 PM GMT
    Very damn important! But it's not the main thing in a relationship (but deffinitely in the top 3).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 20, 2015 3:19 PM GMT
    Sometimes monogamy is just another word for rape.
  • TroyAthlete

    Posts: 4269

    Jun 20, 2015 4:42 PM GMT
    Apparition saidIts a sore point in both my last relationships.


    Good sore or bad sore?
  • toybrian

    Posts: 395

    Jun 21, 2015 12:48 AM GMT
    Sorry se is in the top3 for me. need to both compatible sexually as well as just being compatible..
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1114

    Jun 21, 2015 2:59 AM GMT
    Wyndahoi saidWhen you're in love you adapt to the other persons needs and they adapt to yours. You find a way to keep your man happy that works for both of you.


    Couples who reach that realization are the happiest! there are a thousand ways to keep one's sexual partner satisfied! and sex is one of 999 ways!! great answer Wyndahoi!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2015 1:33 PM GMT
    At 19, I realized the importance of it in a relationship when my ex became frustrated with me after a certain point. Then again, we both felt obligated to be together and it wasn't just working out. I still take the blame for ruining things and hate myself for not "letting loose" when the other person tried to help me through my inexperience with the utmost patience. My idiocy at its greatest.

    That being said, I suppose it's somewhat important, though I'm not a very sexual person at all. However, I feel thirsty or vulgar when I actually admit to my sexuality, and a prude if I don't. icon_confused.gif
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    Jun 22, 2015 7:07 AM GMT
    Not at all important...and contrary to what most gays say sex is not important to be happy at all. In order to be happy whats important is to have real connections, warmth, loving relationships and compassion.....look at the gays on drugs and hooking up endlessly...do they really look happy? I dont think so...they are just brainwashed into thinking this is the gay life and what they need to do,..in order to be accepted but th majority of gays are sadly promiscous whether they are in relationships or not ...even if they have sexual compatibility with a partner it doesnt last forever....life is possible without sex...its cleaner and enjoyable too....u cannot live without air , water and food...but u can live without sex....those who constantly need sex are in fact sick people. In a relationship if u can kiss and cuddle and share warm moments together then sex is not all that important at all...its only something thats important in the very beginning. ...and in some cases even then it desnt matter.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 22, 2015 8:33 AM GMT
    Hm Very important, Lol I mean, if I'm going to settle down with a guy, he must be good in bed. I had a variety of experiences lol, and yes I do know what I'm looking for. This was one of the reason why I broke up with my ex, he just wasn't unpredictable enough for me in bed.
  • LuisG_82

    Posts: 37

    Jun 22, 2015 9:43 AM GMT
    Once I read, A relationship without sex it is a friendship.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3515

    Jun 22, 2015 11:55 PM GMT
    TroyAthlete said
    Apparition saidIts a sore point in both my last relationships.


    Good sore or bad sore?


    bad, as in not getting any
  • Goodluckyman

    Posts: 104

    Jun 25, 2015 6:43 AM GMT
    Quite interesting!!

    Is it a case of poor or infrequent sex/lack of interest or both?

    As for frequency of sex, as already mentioned, my take is that sexual compatibility matters a lot. It becomes a problem if one person wants sex more than the other to a point that you both cannot cope.

    Poor sex can be improved with love and support unless it is coupled with lack of interest.

    Best,