An idea on dealing with members who stay hidden but actively post

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2015 11:32 PM GMT
    In the overall scheme of things, it's not a big deal, but forum discussions are intended to be among members, and members have profiles. I realize you could ask the difference between a hidden profile and an empty profile, or a profile with no public pics, or a profile with no public face pics, and so on. But just to address this one situation.

    Suppose the site instituted a policy that required members to have profiles not hidden as a requirement to post. If that were the only policy, someone could easily work around it by unhiding, then posting, then re-hiding. So to discourage that, when the profile is unhidden, the system time is noted. The member could not post until some period of time has elapsed from the time he unhid - say 24 hours. That would discourage someone who wants to be hidden from unhiding, posting, and then re-hiding.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2015 11:49 PM GMT
    I have a better solution. Get rid of the offline feature completely. It's stupid. If a guy wants to take a break from the site, then don't log in.
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    Jun 21, 2015 11:56 PM GMT
    southbeach1500 saidWell, the only "hidden" member I'm aware of that posts is "theantijock" and it's easy to just hit the Quote button on any of his posts to verify that it's him.

    So this whole "hidden" thing makes absolutely no sense to me, as you can "unhide" anyone who posts in "hidden" mode with a single mouse click.

    Both messages above make sense. Agree that quoting shows who the member is, but it is kind of annoying when you just want to scan through a thread. You expect that with old threads with members who have quit, but for newer ones, I think it should be minimized.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 22, 2015 12:00 AM GMT
    southbeach1500 saidWell, the only "hidden" member I'm aware of that posts is "theantijock" and it's easy to just hit the Quote button on any of his posts to verify that it's him.

    So this whole "hidden" thing makes absolutely no sense to me, as you can "unhide" anyone who posts in "hidden" mode with a single mouse click.


    The whole point to hiding is so that guys can troll or talk trash, and not get any hate mail. Also, previously you couldn't ignore a guy's posts while he was hidden. But they recently added an Ignore link to hidden profiles.

    Seriously, this is only site that I know of that allows this kind of bullshit. icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 22, 2015 12:01 AM GMT
    xrichx saidI have a better solution. Get rid of the offline feature completely. It's stupid. If a guy wants to take a break from the site, then don't log in.


    +1
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 22, 2015 12:05 AM GMT
    xrichx said
    southbeach1500 saidWell, the only "hidden" member I'm aware of that posts is "theantijock" and it's easy to just hit the Quote button on any of his posts to verify that it's him.

    So this whole "hidden" thing makes absolutely no sense to me, as you can "unhide" anyone who posts in "hidden" mode with a single mouse click.


    The whole point to hiding is so that guys can troll or talk trash, and not get any hate mail. Also, previously you couldn't ignore a guy's posts while he was hidden. But they recently added an Ignore link to hidden profiles.

    Seriously, this is only site that I know of that allows this kind of bullshit. icon_rolleyes.gif

    I haven't tried this but I think you can send a message to a hidden member by selecting the Write Mail option at the top and entering his screen name. Unless he has site blocked you, he would get the message, I think.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 22, 2015 12:06 AM GMT
    xrichx saidI have a better solution. Get rid of the offline feature completely. It's stupid. If a guy wants to take a break from the site, then don't log in.

    The forums have an addictive factor, sometimes you have to delete your account or hide it to get the feeling you're really away. Also some guys have hidden their profiles for a while because it could compromise their jobs, etc.

    The solution to this is to forbid hidden members to post.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 22, 2015 12:27 AM GMT
    My suggestion for learning to cope with members who stay hidden but actively post is professional counseling. If that's all it takes to stress you out, I think there are a variety of specialists who would be more that glad, and able, to help you regain a sense of perspective.
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    Jun 22, 2015 12:46 AM GMT
    anotherphil saidMy suggestion for learning to cope with members who stay hidden but actively post is professional counseling. If that's all it takes to stress you out, I think there are a variety of specialists who would be more that glad, and able, to help you regain a sense of perspective.

    I certainly did not indicate any stress nor did the others who posted. We were discussing ideas for forum policies. You may consider any change unnecessary. But if you perceived something that clearly wasn't there, or needed to act out some passive/aggressiveness, perhaps you should seek some counseling to determine why your view of reality is distorted and why you have the need to lash out.
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    Jun 22, 2015 12:49 AM GMT
    socalfitness said
    anotherphil saidMy suggestion for learning to cope with members who stay hidden but actively post is professional counseling. If that's all it takes to stress you out, I think there are a variety of specialists who would be more that glad, and able, to help you regain a sense of perspective.

    I certainly did not indicate any stress nor did the others who posted. We were discussing ideas for forum policies. You may consider any change unnecessary. But if you perceived something that clearly wasn't there, or needed to act out some passive/aggressiveness, perhaps you should seek some counseling to determine why your view of reality is distorted and why you have the need to lash out.

    Well said.
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    Jun 22, 2015 12:54 AM GMT
    David666k said
    socalfitness said
    anotherphil saidMy suggestion for learning to cope with members who stay hidden but actively post is professional counseling. If that's all it takes to stress you out, I think there are a variety of specialists who would be more that glad, and able, to help you regain a sense of perspective.

    I certainly did not indicate any stress nor did the others who posted. We were discussing ideas for forum policies. You may consider any change unnecessary. But if you perceived something that clearly wasn't there, or needed to act out some passive/aggressiveness, perhaps you should seek some counseling to determine why your view of reality is distorted and why you have the need to lash out.

    Well said.

    Thanks. There are some interesting personality types here, including some walking wounded. LOL

    BTW - I think your earlier message makes a lot of sense. There are some guys who want to take a break but don't want to delete their profile. lose any mutual buddies, and have to start from scratch when they return.
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    Jun 22, 2015 1:04 AM GMT
    socalfitness said
    anotherphil saidMy suggestion for learning to cope with members who stay hidden but actively post is professional counseling. If that's all it takes to stress you out, I think there are a variety of specialists who would be more that glad, and able, to help you regain a sense of perspective.

    I certainly did not indicate any stress nor did the others who posted. We were discussing ideas for forum policies. You may consider any change unnecessary. But if you perceived something that clearly wasn't there, or needed to act out some passive/aggressiveness, perhaps you should seek some counseling to determine why your view of reality is distorted and why you have the need to lash out.


    If you do not see any inherent tension in your phrasing (why do you feel these members need to be "dealt with" in the first place?) then this is not surprising, but there are people trained specifically in helping you to see the anger you keep hidden from yourself. There is no shame in it, though it is always difficult to hear it from someone else.

    It is what it is, though. If you feel I'm "lashing out" at you, then my suggestion stands all the more, but it is not my decision to make.
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    Jun 22, 2015 1:09 AM GMT
    anotherphil said
    socalfitness said
    anotherphil saidMy suggestion for learning to cope with members who stay hidden but actively post is professional counseling. If that's all it takes to stress you out, I think there are a variety of specialists who would be more that glad, and able, to help you regain a sense of perspective.

    I certainly did not indicate any stress nor did the others who posted. We were discussing ideas for forum policies. You may consider any change unnecessary. But if you perceived something that clearly wasn't there, or needed to act out some passive/aggressiveness, perhaps you should seek some counseling to determine why your view of reality is distorted and why you have the need to lash out.

    If you do not see any inherent tension in your phrasing (why do you feel these members need to be "dealt with" in the first place?) then this is not surprising, but there are people trained specifically in helping you to see the anger you keep hidden from yourself. There is no shame in it, though it is always difficult to hear it from someone else.

    It is what it is, though. If you feel I'm "lashing out" at you, then my suggestion stands all the more, but it is not my decision to make.

    You interpret being direct as conveying tension to fit your narrative. The point was not to punish members but change a policy to make scanning the threads less of a nuisance. The fact is outside of your involvement here, there was no conflict among anyone. It was your decision to go that route, and your pseudo-analysis is nothing but a lame justification for your behavior. I think it's a fair bet you have similar problems with others.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 22, 2015 5:19 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidIt's not that big of a deal to me.

    Whether you hide behind a hidden profile, a cartoon or fake pictures it's truly sad for you. For whatever reason you truly yearn for a connection with others in some way yet you can't allow yourself to be seen. That's truly unfortunate.


    icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3525

    Jun 22, 2015 11:48 PM GMT
    how about a different solution. REALJOCK the home of OPENLY GAY MEN. Problem solved.