You know you are a dick in the gym when

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    Jun 23, 2015 5:28 AM GMT
    1. You ignore everyone else around you.
    2. You flex in the mirror more than you workout but get pissed if someone even glances at you.
    3. You grunt more than an elephant at the circus.
    4. You can pinky-curl more weight than your IQ.
    5. You think IQ stands for Impressive Quads.
    6. You post a thread on a gay fitness site about being addicted to the gym.

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    Jun 23, 2015 5:39 AM GMT
    pazkilimanjaro said7. you sweat all over the bench and don't sanitize that shit off.


    8. you don't rerack your weights after using them.

    9. you hog the bench or squat rack when it's the peak time of the gym when everyone is there.

    10. you hog all the weights or hog a bench as in putting your water bottle or book on top of it that you're currently not using knowing that there aren't that much benches or one set of those weights.

    11. you slam the weights on the ground after you remove them from the barbell or the rack.
    ^ If i'd been more honest with this thread instead of just a parody, those are actually my biggest peeves at gyms. icon_lol.gif
  • mar0302

    Posts: 273

    Jun 23, 2015 6:56 AM GMT
    I ignore everyone... and I text.. so that makes me a total wanker.. but if someone is waiting for the benches I'm using, I end early and come back to it.. trying to be nice...
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    Jun 23, 2015 1:24 PM GMT
    12, 13, & 14

    You'd don't have the common decency to go fart in a corner instead of out where everyone is working out.
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    Jun 23, 2015 1:44 PM GMT
    15, coincides with 10 ... You think you somehow have the Gawd given right to hog three or four benches while you're super setting then get upset when someone uses one of those pieces while you're off for five minutes or more using something else.

    I frankly don't give a flying fuck regarding where you're from in the world, but you don't come here and attempt to change our etiquette and culture to match the rudeness of yours.

    16, deodorant. Coincides with the above. You drive that fancy-ass BMW or Mercrudes Benz to the gym, but yet you can't take a shower more than once a month or use a bit of deodorant. So that's your tactic to having most of the gym to yourself?
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    Jun 23, 2015 2:16 PM GMT
    When you see the same staff and the same people working out every day of the week but you have no idea what any of their names are.
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    Jun 23, 2015 2:27 PM GMT
    DefensiveEnd saidWhen you see the same staff and the same people working out every day of the week but you have no idea what any of their names are.


    I only know the name of one of the receptionists. Otherwise, I don't know the name of the few people I do see at the gym.

    When someone steals all of the plates for one exercise - I'm guilty of this as I took a bunch to squat press 800, but then I put the plates back where I retrieved them.

    When someone drops the barbell when doing deadlifts when there's a sign that states not to drop it...though I've seen people do this in gym videos (although in a warehouse-styled gym, my gym is connected to a mall).

    When people hog the squat rack.
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    Jun 23, 2015 2:31 PM GMT
    freedomisntfree said15, coincides with 10 ... You think you somehow have the Gawd given right to hog three or four benches while you're super setting then get upset when someone uses one of those pieces while you're off for five minutes or more using something else.

    I frankly don't give a flying fuck regarding where you're from in the world, but you don't come here and attempt to change our etiquette and culture to match the rudeness of yours.

    16, deodorant. Coincides with the above. You drive that fancy-ass BMW or Mercrudes Benz to the gym, but yet you can't take a shower more than once a month or use a bit of deodorant. So that's your tactic to having most of the gym to yourself?



    Says the European in America.
  • mybud

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    Jun 23, 2015 2:34 PM GMT
    7. You tell everybody yo arms are huge but in reality they're twigs...
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    Jun 23, 2015 2:49 PM GMT
    17. You can't count. ^ icon_lol.gif
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    Jun 23, 2015 2:50 PM GMT
    no_direction said
    freedomisntfree said15, coincides with 10 ... You think you somehow have the Gawd given right to hog three or four benches while you're super setting then get upset when someone uses one of those pieces while you're off for five minutes or more using something else.

    I frankly don't give a flying fuck regarding where you're from in the world, but you don't come here and attempt to change our etiquette and culture to match the rudeness of yours.

    16, deodorant. Coincides with the above. You drive that fancy-ass BMW or Mercrudes Benz to the gym, but yet you can't take a shower more than once a month or use a bit of deodorant. So that's your tactic to having most of the gym to yourself?



    Says the European in America.


    Midwest

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    Jun 23, 2015 3:25 PM GMT
    freedomisntfree said...
    16, deodorant. Coincides with the above. You drive that fancy-ass BMW or Mercrudes Benz to the gym, but yet you can't take a shower more than once a month or use a bit of deodorant. So that's your tactic to having most of the gym to yourself?


    Not to worry: it's a rental and he's probably behind on the payments, if not child support, too.
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    Jun 23, 2015 3:35 PM GMT
    You know you're a dick at the gym when you see several fat chix inappropriately using the piece of equipment you want and in spite leave your dumbbells on the floor.
  • jjguy05

    Posts: 459

    Jun 23, 2015 4:36 PM GMT
    my own list (not a continuation):

    1. You take the dumbbells or preset barbells somewhere far away from where they belong (including into the group fitness studio)...use them in a special hidden corner where no one can see you working out. Then leave them there where you're done, so that I can't find them when I need them.

    2. You work out with 3+ of your buddies, hogging a piece of equipment for a fucking hour. How many sets you got? Three. Oh ok, I can wait (5 of his skinny buddies come over. "Three sets" becomes 15).

    3. Your body is nothing to write home about (because you're a skinny twink, or you're fat...sorry, "big"), but you walk around with a massive ego, and expect everyone to move out of your way as you walk.

    4. You pick up a set of dumbbells off the dumbbell rack, and you use them right there, right in front of the dumbbell rack so that no one else can access it or walk through there.

    5. You're constantly lifting your shirt checking out your midsection in the mirrors, as if a single workout will have produced results.

    6. You're a newbie who thinks he's stronger than the veterans in the gym, because you picked up a very heavy weight, and used momentum to swing it, instead of lifting it properly. You supposedly did "bicep curls" with 45-lb dumbbells, and you think you're the shit now.

    7. Working out in that tight space between the smith machines, making it difficult for the smith-user to load and unload plates.

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    Jun 23, 2015 5:02 PM GMT
    You pay more attention to the other dicks in the room than you do to your own workout.

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    Jun 23, 2015 5:22 PM GMT
    You know you're a dick at the gym when:

    65. Excessively washing your hands with Purell. Like this gym does food service or something. God, no wonder my membership is so expensive with them having to refill those bottles all the time.

    66. Anal-retentive doesn't even describe the level of attention you give to re-racking the weights in order from lightest to heaviest, left to right, back to front.

    67. You eye roll as you wipe off Stinky McSweaterson's bench before you start your own meager sets. Really? An eye roll?

    68. You make it a point to inform gym staff about broken equipment. You're thinking you're being helpful and that someone should thank you. Can't even be bothered to do it anonymously? Or fix it yourself, Thumbelina?

    69. You can't be bothered to think of something for sixty-nine because...what the hell are we talking about. Sixty-nine. Sixty-nine...I was supposed to be doing something right now but I lost my train...
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1767

    Jun 23, 2015 5:39 PM GMT
    * When people don't even have the courtesy to blow you in the sauna after leg day

    But more seriously, those are pretty good ones icon_biggrin.gif I personally hate when people stand right in front of you right in the middle of a set when it's pretty clear that you're looking into the mirror to maintain form.
  • charlitos666

    Posts: 290

    Jun 23, 2015 6:13 PM GMT
    paulflexes said1. You ignore everyone else around you.
    2. You flex in the mirror more than you workout but get pissed if someone even glances at you.
    3. You grunt more than an elephant at the circus.
    4. You can pinky-curl more weight than your IQ.
    5. You think IQ stands for Impressive Quads.
    6. You post a thread on a gay fitness site about being addicted to the gym.

    icon_cool.gif




    IQ is irrelevant here. You could be a hot neuroscientist and still be a dick. You could be a highschool drop out and be the nicest guy there exists.


    You are a dick at the gym if:

    - You use every single 45 lbs plate there is to do your fucking leg press
    - You hug a machine for 2 hours out of which 1 hour and 45 minutes you spent on your phone texting.
    - You take over people's machine the moment they go for water.
    - You strip at the locker room for an hour for no apparent reason.
    - You dont have at least 1 person that you say hi to the moment you walk in.
    - You dont tell the poor guy doing deadlifts with poor form that he is about to break his back any second.
    - You got some serious sweat glands issue but you do not bother to wipe off the bench you just drenched in sea water.
    - You are done with your Hercules leg press yet you still left every fucking 45 plate on the machine.
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    Jun 23, 2015 6:31 PM GMT
    charlitos666 said
    - You dont tell the poor guy doing deadlifts with poor form that he is about to break his back any second

    This I'm never sure about. Some people think you're a dick for correcting them. But then again if somebody is about to get hurt....???
  • charlitos666

    Posts: 290

    Jun 23, 2015 6:39 PM GMT
    DefensiveEnd said
    charlitos666 said
    - You dont tell the poor guy doing deadlifts with poor form that he is about to break his back any second

    This I'm never sure about. Some people think you're a dick for correcting them. But then again if somebody is about to get hurt....???



    You are right. It really depends on who and how bad their form might be. Although in my case it tends to happen with teenagers that just started working out and their form is VERY bad as they keep adding weight to the barbell. If its minor i dont give a shit but if somebody is really about to get hurt I have to say something.
  • metta

    Posts: 39161

    Jun 23, 2015 7:24 PM GMT
    mar0302 saidI ignore everyone... and I text.. so that makes me a total wanker.. but if someone is waiting for the benches I'm using, I end early and come back to it.. trying to be nice...


    I hate it when people text on the equipment. It is frustrating when you need to use it and someone is sitting on it texting or just sitting on it talking to people. And I don't wait in front of them so they are not aware that I need it.
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    Jun 23, 2015 8:28 PM GMT
    mickeytopogigio saidYou know you're a dick at the gym when:

    65. Excessively washing your hands with Purell. Like this gym does food service or something. God, no wonder my membership is so expensive with them having to refill those bottles all the time.

    66. Anal-retentive doesn't even describe the level of attention you give to re-racking the weights in order from lightest to heaviest, left to right, back to front.

    67. You eye roll as you wipe off Stinky McSweaterson's bench before you start your own meager sets. Really? An eye roll?

    68. You make it a point to inform gym staff about broken equipment. You're thinking you're being helpful and that someone should thank you. Can't even be bothered to do it anonymously? Or fix it yourself, Thumbelina?

    69. You can't be bothered to think of something for sixty-nine because...what the hell are we talking about. Sixty-nine. Sixty-nine...I was supposed to be doing something right now but I lost my train...


    I don't get it.

    You are a dick for re-racking appropriately (they are marked, 45 lb goes here!), cleaning up someone else's sweat, and reporting broken equipment?
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    Jun 23, 2015 8:56 PM GMT
    metta8 said
    mar0302 saidI ignore everyone... and I text.. so that makes me a total wanker.. but if someone is waiting for the benches I'm using, I end early and come back to it.. trying to be nice...


    I hate it when people text on the equipment. It is frustrating when you need to use it and someone is sitting on it texting or just sitting on it talking to people. And I don't wait in front of them so they are not aware that I need it.

    Amen, if your phone rings, go to the window or take it later.
    If you need to text for some odd reason at the gym, please, do us all a favor and go over by the window where you're allowed to loaf. Swatters on equipment for any reason are real time abusers.
    Maybe one day when I retire and have all day to wait on you... but till then, please share the space like a gentleman, not a spoiled brat that says mine! All Mine..icon_confused.gif
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    Jun 23, 2015 9:18 PM GMT
    timmm55 saidI don't get it.

    You are a dick for...


    You WILL get it. Start from the top, and realize that the OP wasn't being serious with his post. Then, trace that line through the thread between people that get it and people who don't.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jun 23, 2015 9:33 PM GMT
    When even Tom and Harry won't spot you.