Why do some guys need amyl to enjoy sex?

  • Jun 26, 2015 3:22 PM GMT
    I'm totally confused by this kind of behaviour:

    I met a guy from uni and i asked him out for dinner. It was good and we've been seeing each other for a month. He is a teacher, and i enjoy our nice 'relationship' where we would text each other everyday, but not constantly so that its not suffocating, and see each other once a week. It was healthy and balanced.

    Problem is, sometimes he seems very keen, other times he doesn't give me that vibe. It's all very confusing...

    I called him on one friday night at 8, mind you, he's a person who checks his phone constantly. He didn't pick up, so i thought, oh, ok, he will call when he sees it. He messaged me the day after telling me he was 'busy'. I was kinda upset, but didn't read too much into it.

    He then proceeded to show lots of interest, and we would call each other every day or second day. I eventually told him i liked him very much, and he told me he liked me too.

    Everything between us is great, except there's a problem when it comes to sex. First, we both prefer to bottom. At first that was a 'nono' for me, but i enjoy having oral and rimming with him, and I thought it could still work...This is where it gets weird. I don't like drugs, and i don't like amyl very much. However, he seems very into it, and when we used it the first time, he had a great orgasm through it. I feel like he is somewhat reliant on it to get a mind-blowing orgasm, and i find that sad how you need to rely on chemicals to do that for you...

    That aside, i text him daily with "good mornings" to which he would reply rather quickly over the last month, but 2 days ago, he didn't reply at all. He ignored it for 2 solid days and we had no contact, despite the fact that i see he is online on Facebook and most likely chatting to other people. I texted him again today, and he just completely acted as if nothing has happened when he replied in the afternoon

    I feel like he's losing his interest, and I hate being ignored and led on.

    I know that we're somewhat doomed at the start being both bottoms, but i thought we could work around it...

    I guess I'm just confused as to if the guy is genuinely interested in me or not...

    Any ideas guys? Thank you really appreciate it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 27, 2015 4:32 AM GMT
    I feel like he's losing his interest, and I hate being ignored and led on.

    You already know the answer yourself pal, move on from him. If the guy really likes you, he wouldn't do that to you. Or he could at least say that he's busy and stuff, but clearly he didn't.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 4050

    Jun 29, 2015 12:12 PM GMT
    You lost me at: we are sexually incompatible, yet kept dating.....and further confused me with: hes a drug user and i dont like that?

    Sometimes advice is easy.

    Now fix mine!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 01, 2015 12:40 AM GMT
    I don't understand the need for poppers either.

    I wouldn't say that you're confused as much as trying to convince yourself that you're satisfied with what you have going with this guy.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11421

    Jul 01, 2015 1:46 AM GMT
    I tried poppers during sex and hated it, so all I can think of is that they are closeted and have problems dealing with their sexuality, and so they need to numb themselves out in order to let go of what's bothering them and relax, or they have a drug problem, which goes back to some underlying cause that is bothering them, or they are straight and need drugs to deal with having sex with another guy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 01, 2015 3:56 AM GMT
    Long story short: Raise your dating and hookup standards.

    Only users lose drugs losers use drugs. icon_biggrin.gif

  • Jul 08, 2015 10:00 AM GMT
    Update to the story:

    He continued to be flakey, and i knew i shouldn't have confronted him/chased him, but I ended up giving in anyway. It was just too much thinking for me to get over.

    I told him that I liked him, and his inconsistencies made me confused and hurt. I made too many mistakes. I appeared too needy (but i've fallen for him, so it was hard not to). I told him that I wasn't expecting him to be exclusively seeing me, but if he wants to continue to see me, he needs to commit to at least replying to my messages.

    He replied with a thorough, detailed response. He complimented me, but said that he "wasnt looking for anything serious", and he feels "claustrophobic" and that he just "isn't ready yet". I told him i respect that and wished him all the best, and told him that it is meant to be, its meant to be.

    It's odd. Because he obviously wanted something more than a hookup, and I really felt we connected deeply. He doesn't seem like the player/promiscuous type either. t guess i feel insecure when guys distance themselves, because i will be fearful that they are no longer keen and want someone else.

    I told him i needed distance to move on. A few days later, he tagged me in a funny video we used to watch together. I think he was just bored, but I dislike the fact how it still stirred up my emotions a bit.

    I chose to ignore it, and i decided to get back on grindr. He turned out to be on it as well (which i am certain he only just got it), I think over the weekend he has his friends to keep him company and occupied, but on the weekdays the reality hits him and he craves intimacy again.

    I think the whole "i'm not ready" thing is just bullshit.