I get nervous easily (social anxiety)

  • zelon1

    Posts: 81

    Jun 27, 2015 4:01 AM GMT
    It's very difficult for me to make friends because I'm so awkward. I notice people will either ignore me once I start talking or just be straight up rude to me. I can't help it...sometimes my voice shakes, I trip on my words and there's long awkward pauses. I make people really uncomfortable because my awkwardness makes them cringe I notice they'll quickly try and end the "convo" cause I'm that much of a loser. I just wish I could "cure" my anxiety/nerves but I can't help the way I am. I am super confident and outgoing like most gay guys. I am quiet and shy and most people don't like that. It's been making me suicidal lately because I have literally no one to identify with and it's taking a toll on me.
  • zelon1

    Posts: 81

    Jun 27, 2015 7:05 AM GMT
    pazkilimanjaro saidI have the same problem too. Living with it. Tried to go to shrinks and take anti anxiety meds and it didn't work. So yeah I'm an anxious mess but you know what... FUCK ANYBODY THAT DOESN'T UNDERSTAND because those same assholes that led me to be who I am today. If I never had to deal with bullies and assholes growing up trying to impose their will on me, I would never be in this mess. When you have people telling you that something is wrong with you and making you feel out of play for years, shit just becomes believable especially at a young age. Now as a grown man, I'm real sensitive where I can easily take something the wrong way or be real serious because I honestly don't trust people at all. Can't shake myself out of that shit either. I hate them more than they will ever know even when theyre dead and gone. Fuck them and their worthless asses breathing or dead.


    You don't know what I would do to them fuckers if I could get away with it.


    It sucks man but I'm glad I'm not alone
  • WrestlerBoy

    Posts: 1903

    Jun 27, 2015 12:56 PM GMT
    zelon1 saidIt's very difficult for me to make friends because I'm so awkward. I notice people will either ignore me once I start talking or just be straight up rude to me. I can't help it...sometimes my voice shakes, I trip on my words and there's long awkward pauses. I make people really uncomfortable because my awkwardness makes them cringe I notice they'll quickly try and end the "convo" cause I'm that much of a loser. I just wish I could "cure" my anxiety/nerves but I can't help the way I am. I am super confident and outgoing like most gay guys. I am quiet and shy and most people don't like that. It's been making me suicidal lately because I have literally no one to identify with and it's taking a toll on me.


    Know this: A lot of guys, myself included, actually find that sort of "anxiety" and "nervousness" ("social ineptitude", so called), really attractive in a guy. Try to look at it as a "natural" expression of you own vulnerability; and real men are "vulnerable."

    As I said, you will find guys who are attracted to you, BECAUSE of that.
  • WrestlerBoy

    Posts: 1903

    Jun 27, 2015 1:33 PM GMT
    pazkilimanjaro said
    WrestlerBoy said
    zelon1 saidIt's very difficult for me to make friends because I'm so awkward. I notice people will either ignore me once I start talking or just be straight up rude to me. I can't help it...sometimes my voice shakes, I trip on my words and there's long awkward pauses. I make people really uncomfortable because my awkwardness makes them cringe I notice they'll quickly try and end the "convo" cause I'm that much of a loser. I just wish I could "cure" my anxiety/nerves but I can't help the way I am. I am super confident and outgoing like most gay guys. I am quiet and shy and most people don't like that. It's been making me suicidal lately because I have literally no one to identify with and it's taking a toll on me.


    Know this: A lot of guys, myself included, actually find that sort of "anxiety" and "nervousness" ("social ineptitude", so called), really attractive in a guy. Try to look at it as a "natural" expression of you own vulnerability; and real men are "vulnerable."

    As I said, you will find guys who are attracted to you, BECAUSE of that.



    Disagree with that. I think it's the other way around. Think that being nervous or anxious often drives away other gay guys because they associate that with shame. It's misunderstood than understood. Confidence or the impression of it is more likeable than nerves.


    You "disagree" with "what"? "Some guys, including me..."? You don't get to tell me what I think, you arrogant asshole.
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    Jun 27, 2015 1:38 PM GMT
    You're not alone. A lot of people have social anxiety to varying degrees. I've worked on mine for years. Mine started in school when I'd have to get up in front of people and read or talk. My voice would shake, I'd blush so much my eyes would water, and my hands would shake. I don't know if it was because I was bullied a lot or not, but I felt very awkward around people. I thought they were making fun of me or judging me. I felt very alone. It wasn't till I started talking to people that I found out how many others struggled as well. Therapy and anti-anxiety medication helped me out immensely.

    One thing that helped me is putting myself in situations where I had to confront my anxiety in a safe way, like small gatherings. Over time, I learned I could be okay and then I transferred that positive experience to a new experience. I imagine part of the anxiety for you is anticipating what will happen and fixating on that ("I'm going to say something stupid," "They won't like me,"What if my voice shakes?" etc.). You can learn to manage that anxiety and train yourself to stop that thinking.

    The important thing is to not give into those feelings and to fight back. You deserve to be happy and to enjoy life. Next time you're in a new situation, try telling people that you feel awkward or nervous. If they reject you for that they are assholes and not worth your time anyway. You may find that they are nervous as well.

    Another thing you can do is turn the focus away from you and to the other person. Ask them questions. People love to talk about themselves. Practice listening skills and you'll find people will really open up to you (and then you don't have to talk so much unless you want to). I've had conversations with people where I've barely said a word to them and they will say how nice I am...because I just listened.
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    Jun 27, 2015 1:55 PM GMT
    Me too. I often get very nervous even speaking with people.
  • WrestlerBoy

    Posts: 1903

    Jun 27, 2015 2:02 PM GMT
    pazkilimanjaro said
    WrestlerBoy said
    pazkilimanjaro said
    WrestlerBoy said
    zelon1 saidIt's very difficult for me to make friends because I'm so awkward. I notice people will either ignore me once I start talking or just be straight up rude to me. I can't help it...sometimes my voice shakes, I trip on my words and there's long awkward pauses. I make people really uncomfortable because my awkwardness makes them cringe I notice they'll quickly try and end the "convo" cause I'm that much of a loser. I just wish I could "cure" my anxiety/nerves but I can't help the way I am. I am super confident and outgoing like most gay guys. I am quiet and shy and most people don't like that. It's been making me suicidal lately because I have literally no one to identify with and it's taking a toll on me.


    Know this: A lot of guys, myself included, actually find that sort of "anxiety" and "nervousness" ("social ineptitude", so called), really attractive in a guy. Try to look at it as a "natural" expression of you own vulnerability; and real men are "vulnerable."

    As I said, you will find guys who are attracted to you, BECAUSE of that.



    Disagree with that. I think it's the other way around. Think that being nervous or anxious often drives away other gay guys because they associate that with shame. It's misunderstood than understood. Confidence or the impression of it is more likeable than nerves.


    You "disagree" with "what"? "Some guys, including me..."? You don't get to tell me what I think, you arrogant asshole.


    Arrogant? Bitch that's you. Yeah I'm challenging what you said

    I'm speaking from experience and what I've seen happen to others who were nervous too, you dumb bitch. Why the fuck you think I said that shit in the first place? Apparently, youve never been nervous enough to see what it's like from the perspective of someone that is. It may be a fetish for you which is fine but folks will treat you like shit or not want to have anything to do with you if they see you act like that. I've had it happen to me at the Stonewall Inn and almost got thrown out because I "looked like I didn't belong there". People looking and acting like.. "why are you nervous?" And treating me like I'm a weirdo all acting like they're better than me and shit. You wanna talk about fucking arrogance? The nerve of this bitch. Arrogance is the norm among gay men especially. If you appear to be fragile or vulnerable where it's look wise or think like it, you're frown down on. They call people twinks for a reason and twinks aren't the ones that are dominating shit.

    If you wanna help, that's fine but don't fucking try to play me out saying what I know and seen.


    Fuck off, moron, you're the basketcase everyone on here says you are.
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    Jun 27, 2015 2:37 PM GMT
    Try volunteer work.
    Meet a range of decent people who already have a common interest, and plus you are engaged in doing something....takes a lot of pressure off trying to hold up a conversation...
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    Jun 27, 2015 2:50 PM GMT
    Try joining an organization that will help with your problem, for example Toastmasters or take a class like Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People." I've seen incredible success from each of those.
  • monet

    Posts: 1093

    Jun 27, 2015 4:36 PM GMT
    Just because you suffer from social anxiety now does not mean that you will always have to suffer from it.

    Social anxiety can be treated by forcing yourself (in very small increments) into situations that produce your anxiety. Each time you are able to succeed you will build your self-confidence and the more you force yourself to do it the easier it gets.

    If you can find a counselor to work with who has training and experience in this area he/she can explain how to work towards reducing your social anxiety and be your support as you go forward. But even if you have to do it yourself with the help of books you CAN overcome social anxiety.

    Best of luck to you.
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    Jun 27, 2015 6:21 PM GMT
    monet saidJust because you suffer from social anxiety now does not mean that you will always have to suffer from it.

    Social anxiety can be treated by forcing yourself (in very small increments) into situations that produce your anxiety. Each time you are able to succeed you will build your self-confidence and the more you force yourself to do it the easier it gets.

    If you can find a counselor to work with who has training and experience in this area he/she can explain how to work towards reducing your social anxiety and be your support as you go forward. But even if you have to do it yourself with the help of books you CAN overcome social anxiety.

    Best of luck to you.


    Spot on. Incremental Therapy works. I would consider doing Toast Masters as many of the people who joined had a fear of public situations. Also, talk to yourself in front of a mirror at times and make eye contact with yourself. It sounds weird but it will help you to get used to talking while seeing someone looking back at you and will help you to build up your concentration on what you're saying.
  • ZakSayWhat

    Posts: 573

    Jun 27, 2015 6:51 PM GMT
    i find most ppl ignore me coz im brown
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    Jun 27, 2015 8:16 PM GMT
    listen, people are going to find a way to dislike you for any number of reasons. after a while you have to just ignore them and stay confident that you are who you are, and if they don't like it, then move on.

    believe it or not, there are people out there (like myself) who are introverted, but can put on a show and appear extroverted. this is useful at school, at work, at parties and social gatherings, but the gas runs out quickly, and thats when i retreat. my close friends know this about me, and they are there if i need them, but they give me space because they know i need it to recharge my batteries (and its nothing personal).

    you need to find a good friend like that. someone who gets you. then soon, you'll find others who are similar, and they'll get you too. and then you'll realise that these situations where people ignore you or are rude to you, are situations which you just can opt out of, because there are other situations which are more suited to you. keep up the search. you're not alone.
  • davfit

    Posts: 309

    Jun 27, 2015 9:56 PM GMT
    Sorry to hear about that.I Had that problem when I was in my teens..The good news its fixable and just because you have it doesn't make you any less of a person..love yourself flaws and all. Work on this is your own time there is lots of help out there.Start by listening to your internal dialogue, what are you thinking in these moments,this is the first step to alter these thoughts to what you want them to be..Good luck ...life is about learning ,growing ...none of us are perfect..
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    Jun 27, 2015 9:58 PM GMT
    I only get nervous on dates, well at first anyway. For social interactions, I don't know, I don't do well in huge large groups. And if the conversations are not interesting or just superficial or too bitchy, then I just walk away. I'm not one of those guys who can like fake it, just smile but in fact if I don't like you inside. Whatever, just be yourself. Just be normal and try to make cool friends, screw the ones who don't like you.
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    Jun 27, 2015 10:10 PM GMT
    zelon1 saidIt's very difficult for me to make friends because I'm so awkward. I notice people will either ignore me once I start talking or just be straight up rude to me. I can't help it...sometimes my voice shakes, I trip on my words and there's long awkward pauses. I make people really uncomfortable because my awkwardness makes them cringe I notice they'll quickly try and end the "convo" cause I'm that much of a loser. I just wish I could "cure" my anxiety/nerves but I can't help the way I am. I am super confident and outgoing like most gay guys. I am quiet and shy and most people don't like that. It's been making me suicidal lately because I have literally no one to identify with and it's taking a toll on me.


    I'm a psychologist and I can tell you that most people with anxiety issues improve greatly once they get into the proper form of psychotherapy. Many different types of therapy can work for the treatment of anxiety but most people find cognitive-behavioral approaches to be especially effective when it comes to treating anxiety disorders. Please don't hurt yourself or give up. There is definitely a path available to you and once you are on it your life will start to improve. Send me an email if you want a bit more information. In the meantime I encourage you to call a suicide hotline and start talking things over with someone ASAP. It's time to get you on the right track so you can enjoy life and be the person you really are!
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    Jun 28, 2015 4:05 AM GMT
    I get nervous too, and I've that owning it is best way of dealing with it. When in social gatherings, I make a point of taking breaks away from people when it becomes too much, even if it's just for a few minutes. A good way to stop and gather your thoughts and breath.

    One of my tricks is to always let the other person talk about themselves and interject your own thoughts from time to time. Works every time. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jun 28, 2015 1:21 PM GMT
    kingmo said there are people out there (like myself) who are introverted, but can put on a show and appear extroverted. this is useful at school, at work, at parties and social gatherings, but the gas runs out quickly


    Totally true.
    I'm basically an introvert but somehow ended up as a trial lawyer. I have to get up and speak in front of judges and juries all the time. My first few trials were like dying a thousand deaths. But each time it got better and I felt more at ease, and eventually, began to actually enjoy it. It is a skill that like any other improves with practice. Lots of practice.

  • monet

    Posts: 1093

    Jun 28, 2015 2:39 PM GMT
    About 23 years ago my sister started dating this new guy who was painfully shy and socially awkward. When they would come to Sunday dinner at my parents' house he could barely speak to any of us. If he had something to say he would whisper it in my sister's ear and she would speak for him. I clearly remember one time I noticed him whisper something into my sister's ear and then she looked at me and said for him, "John, could you please pass Michael the salt?" I thought he was a major loser and assumed my sister would drop him in due course.

    Well, she didn't drop him; in fact she married him. He worked on his issues and today he is super-confident, charming, talkative, successful and happy.

    So social anxiety and shyness can be overcome with time and a little hard work.

    Best of luck to you.

    icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jun 28, 2015 3:49 PM GMT
    zelon1 said
    It's very difficult for me to make friends because I'm so awkward. I notice people will either ignore me once I start talking or just be straight up rude to me. I can't help it...sometimes my voice shakes, I trip on my words and there's long awkward pauses. I make people really uncomfortable because my awkwardness makes them cringe I notice they'll quickly try and end the "convo" cause I'm that much of a loser. I just wish I could "cure" my anxiety/nerves but I can't help the way I am.

    Sorry to hear this. I blame people who MAKE you feel nervous, who aren't sympathetic to your problem. Because a little understanding and patience from others could help you. A true personal story I've posted here before:

    As a child and through my teens I was so shy & awkward I couldn't say my own name! When required to introduce myself I couldn't say "Robert". I'd swallow & gulp it and it would come out as "Robber".

    "Robber? Are you a thief?" cruel adults would ask, laughing at me. Naturally it only made things worse, and I'd become wholly inarticulate.

    Then at 19 I suffered serious head trauma from a motorcycle accident, leaving me with a heavy stutter (stammer). If you've seen the movie The King's Speech you will understand how I can empathize with that story.

    I was determined to fight it. First thing I did was "rename" myself Bob. My parents always said "Robert" to me very formally, but I changed it to Bob, because I could pronounce that easily, and with confidence to others. "Hi, I'm Bob!" got me off to a good start with people, and I could work from there.

    Second was enlisting in the Army. It wasn't to improve my speaking, but that was an unintended consequence. I was quickly put in leadership positions, even while still in training, gawd only knows why. And I had to use my voice - loudly and with authority. My awful, awful voice. And overcome my shy awkwardness.

    Well, I thought, I'm now in uniform. And I'm having to do lots of new things I never did before. Shoot a rifle, do PT, stand at attention and take orders from some guy screaming in my face. OK, if this is also my soldier's mission I'll force myself to speak in public. It's what I signed up to do.

    How I accomplished it I'm not quite sure. Force of will to do my duty, perhaps, or fear of punishment, I dunno. But apparently the Army provided me with some strong motivators I never had before, a bit of backbone I previously lacked.

    What YOU may need are also strong motivators. When you really want to do something you can do it. Despite genuine physical handicaps, and some phycological, like I had.

    BTW, I went on to be a radio DJ, done on the side along with my military career, and doing all kinds of other voice work, heard by countless listeners. Today my friends consider me a "social butterfly" - the star of any party. But inside I still retain a little shyness & awkwardness, because that's the real me, it can take a little nudge to get me started. And that's OK, I know I'll hit my stride in a few moments.

    But you can overcome this social problem, too. And do the same as me, and as others have. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jun 28, 2015 4:35 PM GMT
    southbeach1500 said
    Art_Deco said
    BTW, I went on to be a radio DJ, done on the side along with my military career, and doing all kinds of other voice work, heard by countless listeners.

    Yes, I'm sure you've enthralled MILLIONS in your successful radio career, thanks to your very many gifts and talents. A voice such as yours needs to be shared so that those of lesser talents may have the opportunity to appreciate it.

    Why do you piss on these threads? When we are trying to help out a gay brother? Oh, wait, never mind, we all already know the answer, and why you're here on this gay site, trying to derail another thread to help a gay guy. icon_mad.gif
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    Jun 28, 2015 4:58 PM GMT
    pazkilimanjaro said
    WrestlerBoy said
    zelon1 saidIt's very difficult for me to make friends because I'm so awkward. I notice people will either ignore me once I start talking or just be straight up rude to me. I can't help it...sometimes my voice shakes, I trip on my words and there's long awkward pauses. I make people really uncomfortable because my awkwardness makes them cringe I notice they'll quickly try and end the "convo" cause I'm that much of a loser. I just wish I could "cure" my anxiety/nerves but I can't help the way I am. I am super confident and outgoing like most gay guys. I am quiet and shy and most people don't like that. It's been making me suicidal lately because I have literally no one to identify with and it's taking a toll on me.


    Know this: A lot of guys, myself included, actually find that sort of "anxiety" and "nervousness" ("social ineptitude", so called), really attractive in a guy. Try to look at it as a "natural" expression of you own vulnerability; and real men are "vulnerable."

    As I said, you will find guys who are attracted to you, BECAUSE of that.



    Disagree with that. I think it's the other way around. Think that being nervous or anxious often drives away other gay guys because they associate that with shame. It's misunderstood than understood. Confidence or the impression of it is more likeable than nerves.


    +1

    It's okay to a tad shy and timd (I am), but I don't believe the lack of social graces is appealing.

    I'm very timid and guarded, which I find rather strange for a person of my presence (Big, Scary Black Guy Syndrome), considering I always adorn a bitch face in public. I don't think this is healthy because I feel I come off as a stereotype, which I don't want to be. If anything, I despise classroom icebreakers, because I actually have to speak up when I just want to receive my syllabus, classroom essentials, and leave.
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    Jun 28, 2015 8:44 PM GMT
    zelon1 saidIt's very difficult for me to make friends because I'm so awkward. I notice people will either ignore me once I start talking or just be straight up rude to me. I can't help it...sometimes my voice shakes, I trip on my words and there's long awkward pauses. I make people really uncomfortable because my awkwardness makes them cringe I notice they'll quickly try and end the "convo" cause I'm that much of a loser. I just wish I could "cure" my anxiety/nerves but I can't help the way I am. I am super confident and outgoing like most gay guys. I am quiet and shy and most people don't like that. It's been making me suicidal lately because I have literally no one to identify with and it's taking a toll on me.


    This really isn't the proper place to seek help.

    You need to seek a mental health professional. If you don't exercise, start. Exercise is among the most powerful of anti-depressant. You may need nutritional, or hormonal, support. In general, antidepressant meds aren't very effective. Talk therapy, with a pro, in a first step. Anti-anxiety drugs MIGHT be indicated, but, none of that can be told from here.

    There is a wealth of free resources you can come upon that provide professional help. Don't put it off. Talk to one, or several, pros.

    The first step in becoming well is admitting you may not be able to fix it on your own, any more than any other illness.

    Work on your self acceptance and perspective. Like yourself, first; the rest will follow. Not everyone is going to like you, so, put on your big boy pants, and get used to the idea. That's life.

    Well adjusted folks RUN from folks that are downers, in whatever way that is. We tend to associate with like minded folks. If you are charismatic, social, and so on, folks WILL like you. If you are depressing, timid, low esteem, it's a huge turn off to those around you...it acts as people repellant. You have to learn new behavior. That probably will involve working with a mental health professional.

    Most things worth doing are hard. You can CHOOSE your perspective around them. You can walk into, through, above, and beyond, your challenges, or... be miserable. You get to choose.
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    Jun 29, 2015 3:27 AM GMT
    I might add that some folks are introverts.

    Like many things, with planning, persistence, diligence, discipline, and proper coaching, you should be able to make this a thing of the past.

    Just 9 months after being sawed in 1/2 for open heart surgery I was in contest shape. I chose that.

    The Internet tends to be very isolating, with very rude people. Get social in The Real World. One of my personal goals is to make a new friend every single day. I've done it for years. Some days, it'll be zero, but, many days, as many as 6.

    Many gay folks aren't self confident. They're hateful. They're rude. They're poison. Get those people out of your life. Closet cases, cheaters, etc., have no place in a healthy life.

    Make it a point to get athletic...whatever your passion. The dopamine from exercise is better than just about any anti-depressant drug (truth).

    You may need to rehearse various scenarios with a professional. You can also test your personality online (there are several sites), for some insight into your personality type.

    I'm a brilliant, extrovert, that doesn't pull punches, and I own my sexuality, and I am highly masculine, but, also a sensitive caregiver, an activist, an accomplished public speaker, but, every so often, I'll get social anxiety, if I'm around a particularly bad bunch of people.

    Despite the message that society sends to be extroverted, some of us just aren't. There was a point in my life where I was more introverted, but, as I've grown older, I've become more and more extroverted. (They call me the mayor of Austin Ranch because I shake so many hands. In my membership at LA Fitness since 1991, I've met thousands of people, many of whom I still see regularly after all these years.)

    You MIGHT need something to help you learn new habits...something like Zanax, but...be careful...the drugs can be addictive, and withdrawal can be a drag....but...they can also be of great benefit in getting you over the hump. They call alcohol the social lubricant of men for a very good reason.

    The most important thing is accepting a few things.
    1. You are who you are. You may, or may not, be able to change that. I've always been outgoing, but, as a gay guy, before I really owned my sexuality, there was some anxiety. Weird how it works, but, it works kinda like that.
    2. If you are depressed, get social...anything...with a professional counselor, a friend, the gym, etc. Be careful about masking your anxiety with rec drugs.
    3. Think about perspective. Perspective is EVERYTHING. Things happen on our timelines, that...we can choose to be miserable about, or not. How we cope is largely based upon perspective. E.g., open heart surgery...well...now I have a goal. In fact, in my case, my health care team asked me to compete just two days after being sawed in 1/2. I rose to the challenge rather than feeling sorry for myself.
    4. Realize that...sometimes...we all need help. Go to a pro. This is a site for gay athletes. It's not a self help site, although you might get some good, or bad, advice here. Get off the phone / computer / tablet and seek some professional help. If you're feeling suicidal, it's important to talk with a real person in Real Space.

    Some anxiety is part and parcel of any challenge. The more we do it, the less anxious we become. I spent 11 years (through high school and college) in commercial broadcasting. I don't think there ever was a time that I didn't get a little nervous at the beginning of a shift. Just was. With broadcasting, and so is the case in dealing with people...knowing what you're going to say before you say it makes a huge difference in your delivery and anxiety. If I already know what I'm going to say, it's easy. Unless you're doing truly live broadcasting (which I've done plenty of), you have lots of time to think about, and rehearse exactly what you're going to say / do.

    You can study up on shyness. Main thing is to remember this: nearly everything changes in time, even without intervention, but, we choose how we feel. We can feel angry, or sad. We can feel elated, or mild happy. Part of growing up is learning how to think with the front part of our brain. Soldiers train for it in boot camp... If you look fear in the eye, it often is that the biggest fear is yourself.
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    Jun 29, 2015 3:42 AM GMT
    monet saidJust because you suffer from social anxiety now does not mean that you will always have to suffer from it.

    Social anxiety can be treated by forcing yourself (in very small increments) into situations that produce your anxiety. Each time you are able to succeed you will build your self-confidence and the more you force yourself to do it the easier it gets.

    If you can find a counselor to work with who has training and experience in this area he/she can explain how to work towards reducing your social anxiety and be your support as you go forward. But even if you have to do it yourself with the help of books you CAN overcome social anxiety.

    Best of luck to you.


    Exactly. If we coddle a weak part, it only grows weaker, but...if we rehab it...it often ends up stronger than it could have been before.

    E.g. I tore my bicep off. Normal range of motion after reattachment is 90 days. I got mine in 21. I had a triple CABG June 13, 2013. Just 9 months later, I was in contest shape, and I typically take my heart rate to 120% of max a couple of times a week.

    We walk into, through, above, and beyond, our deepest challenges. It can be scary (is my heart ok? Yes, it's o.k. I trained on an EKG for 9 weeks as I busted boundaries.) It can hurt. (My chest really hurts. Am I o.k.? Yes, I'm o.k.). I'm sweating.. Am I OK? Yep. I'm fine. I'm actually better. Do the wire bundles hurt in my chest sometimes? Yep. Most things worth doing, and..having, are hard. Can't be a pussy. You gotta jump in. If my hamstring is tight...I stretch it. Does it hurt? Fuck yeah. Do I do it because it's what I need? Yep. HARD THINGS ARE HARD. Fixing them requires taking ACTION. Whining doesn't fix it. I tore a muscle the other day. Did I quit? Nope. I had that muscle rolled out and stretched so it would heal right, and rehab stronger than before (scar tissue is stronger than muscle). Did it hurt? Oh, fuck, yes, it hurt bad. Did I do what needed done? Yep. Now, you need to do what needs done. Get offline. Get to real, professional, people, in the real world, and practice meeting a new person every single day. Pretty soon, it'll be old news...; second nature. Just do it.