It's very difficult for me to make friends because I'm so awkward. I notice people will either ignore me once I start talking or just be straight up rude to me. I can't help it...sometimes my voice shakes, I trip on my words and there's long awkward pauses. I make people really uncomfortable because my awkwardness makes them cringe I notice they'll quickly try and end the "convo" cause I'm that much of a loser. I just wish I could "cure" my anxiety/nerves but I can't help the way I am.
Sorry to hear this. I blame people who MAKE you feel nervous, who aren't sympathetic to your problem. Because a little understanding and patience from others could help you. A true personal story I've posted here before:
As a child and through my teens I was so shy & awkward I couldn't say my own name! When required to introduce myself I couldn't say "Robert". I'd swallow & gulp it and it would come out as "Robber".
"Robber? Are you a thief?" cruel adults would ask, laughing at me. Naturally it only made things worse, and I'd become wholly inarticulate.
Then at 19 I suffered serious head trauma from a motorcycle accident, leaving me with a heavy stutter (stammer). If you've seen the movie The King's Speech
you will understand how I can empathize with that story.
I was determined to fight it. First thing I did was "rename" myself Bob. My parents always said "Robert" to me very formally, but I changed it to Bob, because I could pronounce that easily, and with confidence to others. "Hi, I'm Bob!" got me off to a good start with people, and I could work from there.
Second was enlisting in the Army. It wasn't to improve my speaking, but that was an unintended consequence. I was quickly put in leadership positions, even while still in training, gawd only knows why. And I had to use my voice - loudly and with authority. My awful, awful voice. And overcome my shy awkwardness.
Well, I thought, I'm now in uniform. And I'm having to do lots of new things I never did before. Shoot a rifle, do PT, stand at attention and take orders from some guy screaming in my face. OK, if this is also my soldier's mission I'll force myself to speak in public. It's what I signed up to do.
How I accomplished it I'm not quite sure. Force of will to do my duty, perhaps, or fear of punishment, I dunno. But apparently the Army provided me with some strong motivators I never had before, a bit of backbone I previously lacked.
What YOU may need are also strong motivators. When you really want to do something you can do it. Despite genuine physical handicaps, and some phycological, like I had.
BTW, I went on to be a radio DJ, done on the side along with my military career, and doing all kinds of other voice work, heard by countless listeners. Today my friends consider me a "social butterfly" - the star of any party. But inside I still retain a little shyness & awkwardness, because that's the real me, it can take a little nudge to get me started. And that's OK, I know I'll hit my stride in a few moments.
But you can overcome this social problem, too. And do the same as me, and as others have.