swimmer_sf saidObviously you feel some resentment that you think would be assuaged, but what exactly do the men of whom you are making demands get out of it? Do you think you've been given authority to judge the personal decisions of other people that you don't even know?
No, but to speak in generalities doesn't negate to basic correctness of the belief. Sure there will be exceptions to every rule but I think the point being made is that given the progress, given the point we are at right now, that we can see the finish line, the point at which there is no reason to not live an authentic life without fear or really even to be noticed and thought of as different. But we need everyone to get there. Those who continue to hide will hold us all back in a way. There is an article in the NYT asking if we've lost some sense of our community now that we are effectively mainstreamed. The answer given was No. Because we still share the experience of realizing that we aren't the same as our parents. Or most of the people we see growing up. We are gay. And to have the continuation of the mindset that there is still a need to hide, AKA our brothers who remain closeted, will continue to harm us collectively. And certainly the most delicate of us, our youth.
Interesting, but I still don't think you've explained what is in it for the men whom you are targeting. The gay movement has been around for decades and everyone knows what it stands for among the myriad other movements and belief systems out there. All men have freely chosen the extent to which they identify with and participate in the gay movement based on what makes them happy. So you need to explain what benefits they (not the gay movement) will get by conforming with what you deem to be an acceptable participation level. Just labeling their lives as inauthentic is unhelpful because all lives are "authentic" for that particular place, person, and time. Just because they don't serve your needs to align with what you have chosen for yourself doesn't make them inauthentic.
Shaming and shunning won't accomplish anything. You have to persuade by showing how your way will actually benefit them and not just yourself.
You say: "So you need to explain what benefits (I....since that is your perspective)
will get by conforming with what you deem to be an acceptable participation level.
Conforming? An interesting choice of words.
Rosa Parks didn't 'conform', the drag queen at Stone Wall didn't 'conform'. Certainly I haven't done enough, in my mind. to contribute, it isn't conforming. But you don't want to do anything....and expect a dividend!
The attitude of 'What is in it for me?' is utterly conceited. While I expect a number of people to sit in the back seats and let others do the achieving, you shouldn't be bad mouthing those that do.
What did you do when Mathew Sheppard was killed? What did you do when Anita Bryant or any other fear monger came to town?
You did nothing. Now you want the benefits. That's (believe it or not) cool! I expect gay people to assume that our rights were always there to be had.
But it had to be won. Our rights will still need to be defended. Were will you be when a Gay bar is firebombed? 'I'm not a gay bar type' so it's none of my concern, I don't want to conform?