Now that gay marriage is legal nationwide...will there be a paradigm shift, or will the gay way prevail?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 03, 2015 7:13 AM GMT
    I just thought of this today, and now I'm more curio than a box of Cheerios.

    I just wonder because I been staying with a guy for the past few days. He invited me to stay while I'm in town, but today he seemed kind of annoyed with my presence. He's an older guy, mid 30s. Gay. He said something to me today that made me quite irritated. He said that, "he likes to live alone", when I asked him if I was over stayin my welcome. I almost wanted to say: "and that's why you're single and probably always will be." But I'll wait til I'm ready to leave to hit him with that.

    Now, there's nothing wrong with wanting to live alone...if you're single or just dating. But some of the same ones applauding the decision for gay marriage, are still in this contradicting mentality of "I want to live/be alone", but then talk about how they can't find the right person/Stay in a relationship. The guy in the above example was dating me 4 years ago, and I stopped seeing him because when i was having issues with a place I lived in...he wouldn't let me stay with him for 2 weeks while I found a new place. And he had plenty of space in his HOME. So I had to relocate out of state. 4 years later, he's still single after a bullshit relationship he had with someone who gave him HIV, and now he's finally letting me stay for a whole week...I appreciate that he's "tried" to set aside his selfishness.

    This bullshit has to stop. The decision for gay marriage is not enough in itself. I think people should take advantage of this, stop treating other men like goddamn fucking disposable tampons/condoms/new toy syndrome bullshit, and let go of the me, me, me selfish attitudes. Especially gay men with money. It's sad that the more money a gay man has, the more stingy and selfish they "can" behave. I've heard of guys living alone in these huge 4 bedroom homes, and won't even let a friend they've known for months, move in with them temporarily. Scared someone going to take something from them. And one has to wonder why so many guys I've come across, don't seem to make it past the 5 year mark in relationships (not saying that it could be the person's partner who couldn't get it right)

    That said, not that I'm a firm believer in the concept, but "waiting to have sex until married" can now apply to gay couples. We can begin treating each other with a possibility of getting married. I listened to my barber, who most people would think is "just another thug with tattoos", married to his wife for 13 years. How often do you hear that?
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    Jul 03, 2015 4:26 PM GMT
    FuzzyPecs27 saidI just thought of this today, and now I'm more curio than a box of Cheerios.

    I just wonder because I been staying with a guy for the past few days. He invited me to stay while I'm in town, but today he seemed kind of annoyed with my presence. He's an older guy, mid 30s. Gay. He said something to me today that made me quite irritated. He said that, "he likes to live alone", when I asked him if I was over stayin my welcome. I almost wanted to say: "and that's why you're single and probably always will be." But I'll wait til I'm ready to leave to hit him with that.

    Now, there's nothing wrong with wanting to live alone...if you're single or just dating. But some of the same ones applauding the decision for gay marriage, are still in this contradicting mentality of "I want to live/be alone", but then talk about how they can't find the right person/Stay in a relationship. The guy in the above example was dating me 4 years ago, and I stopped seeing him because when i was having issues with a place I lived in...he wouldn't let me stay with him for 2 weeks while I found a new place. And he had plenty of space in his HOME. So I had to relocate out of state. 4 years later, he's still single after a bullshit relationship he had with someone who gave him HIV, and now he's finally letting me stay for a whole week...I appreciate that he's "tried" to set aside his selfishness.

    This bullshit has to stop. The decision for gay marriage is not enough in itself. I think people should take advantage of this, stop treating other men like goddamn fucking disposable tampons/condoms/new toy syndrome bullshit, and let go of the me, me, me selfish attitudes. Especially gay men with money. It's sad that the more money a gay man has, the more stingy and selfish they "can" behave. I've heard of guys living alone in these huge 4 bedroom homes, and won't even let a friend they've known for months, move in with them temporarily. Scared someone going to take something from them. And one has to wonder why so many guys I've come across, don't seem to make it past the 5 year mark in relationships (not saying that it could be the person's partner who couldn't get it right)

    That said, not that I'm a firm believer in the concept, but "waiting to have sex until married" can now apply to gay couples. We can begin treating each other with a possibility of getting married. I listened to my barber, who most people would think is "just another thug with tattoos", married to his wife for 13 years. How often do you hear that?


    So you are plotting revenge while taking advantage of enjoying a relationship? You might want to examine that.

    And you want to withhold sex as a leverage to be married so that someone will share their 4-bedroom home with you?

    You might want to examine that too. I'm pretty sure he will.

    There is zero contradiction between applauding the gaining of the equal rights of marriage and not wanting to be married.

    But there is contradiction and conflict in your complaining about another person being so-called selfish while also complaining that they'd applaud that which they might not take advantage of for themselves because that's actually selfless, isn't it, to be happy that someone else can marry even if you don't want it yourself.

    So you've got some twisted thinking there that you need to iron out.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 03, 2015 4:38 PM GMT
    theantijock said
    FuzzyPecs27 saidI just thought of this today, and now I'm more curio than a box of Cheerios.

    I just wonder because I been staying with a guy for the past few days. He invited me to stay while I'm in town, but today he seemed kind of annoyed with my presence. He's an older guy, mid 30s. Gay. He said something to me today that made me quite irritated. He said that, "he likes to live alone", when I asked him if I was over stayin my welcome. I almost wanted to say: "and that's why you're single and probably always will be." But I'll wait til I'm ready to leave to hit him with that.

    Now, there's nothing wrong with wanting to live alone...if you're single or just dating. But some of the same ones applauding the decision for gay marriage, are still in this contradicting mentality of "I want to live/be alone", but then talk about how they can't find the right person/Stay in a relationship. The guy in the above example was dating me 4 years ago, and I stopped seeing him because when i was having issues with a place I lived in...he wouldn't let me stay with him for 2 weeks while I found a new place. And he had plenty of space in his HOME. So I had to relocate out of state. 4 years later, he's still single after a bullshit relationship he had with someone who gave him HIV, and now he's finally letting me stay for a whole week...I appreciate that he's "tried" to set aside his selfishness.

    This bullshit has to stop. The decision for gay marriage is not enough in itself. I think people should take advantage of this, stop treating other men like goddamn fucking disposable tampons/condoms/new toy syndrome bullshit, and let go of the me, me, me selfish attitudes. Especially gay men with money. It's sad that the more money a gay man has, the more stingy and selfish they "can" behave. I've heard of guys living alone in these huge 4 bedroom homes, and won't even let a friend they've known for months, move in with them temporarily. Scared someone going to take something from them. And one has to wonder why so many guys I've come across, don't seem to make it past the 5 year mark in relationships (not saying that it could be the person's partner who couldn't get it right)

    That said, not that I'm a firm believer in the concept, but "waiting to have sex until married" can now apply to gay couples. We can begin treating each other with a possibility of getting married. I listened to my barber, who most people would think is "just another thug with tattoos", married to his wife for 13 years. How often do you hear that?


    So you are plotting revenge while taking advantage of enjoying a relationship? You might want to examine that.

    And you want to withhold sex as a leverage to be married so that someone will share their 4-bedroom home with you?

    You might want to examine that too. I'm pretty sure he will.

    There is zero contradiction between applauding the gaining of the equal rights of marriage and not wanting to be married.

    But there is contradiction and conflict in your complaining about another person being so-called selfish while also complaining that they'd applaud that which they might not take advantage of for themselves because that's actually selfless, isn't it, to be happy that someone else can marry even if you don't want it yourself.

    So you've got some twisted thinking there that you need to iron out.


    ^+1! Is it any wonder that they guy "likes to live alone?" Sorry, but to be equally blunt, he's probably onto your act already, so why not be upfront w/ him now instead of taking further advantage of him?
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jul 03, 2015 5:53 PM GMT
    I think all the good ones will be taken, and everyone will be on everyone's holiday greeting card list.icon_eek.gif
  • 1AlanZSky

    Posts: 1505

    Aug 02, 2015 12:12 AM GMT
    HottJoe saidI think all the good ones will be taken, and everyone will be on everyone's holiday greeting card list.icon_eek.gif


    So lonely gay good guys stay lonely?
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3521

    Aug 02, 2015 2:27 AM GMT
    1AlanZSky said
    HottJoe saidI think all the good ones will be taken, and everyone will be on everyone's holiday greeting card list.icon_eek.gif


    So lonely gay good guys stay lonely?


    lonely gay good guys are LAZY. Get off your ass and date someone. YOU have to do the asking.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 02, 2015 7:32 AM GMT
    This sounds like a sugar daddy sugar baby relationship. I don't know why so many of you pretend you care about each other when you wouldn't give him the time of day if he were broke and he wouldn't give you the time of day if you were fat.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 02, 2015 7:36 AM GMT
    Apparition said
    1AlanZSky said
    HottJoe saidI think all the good ones will be taken, and everyone will be on everyone's holiday greeting card list.icon_eek.gif


    So lonely gay good guys stay lonely?


    lonely gay good guys are LAZY. Get off your ass and date someone. YOU have to do the asking.


    I've actually had multiple gay guys laugh at me for asking them out. Serious, I'm not sure if that's there nice way of letting me down or if they even realize they are doing it.
  • SuntoryTime

    Posts: 656

    Aug 09, 2015 8:57 PM GMT
    MrFuscle said
    Apparition said
    1AlanZSky said
    HottJoe saidI think all the good ones will be taken, and everyone will be on everyone's holiday greeting card list.icon_eek.gif


    So lonely gay good guys stay lonely?


    lonely gay good guys are LAZY. Get off your ass and date someone. YOU have to do the asking.


    I've actually had multiple gay guys laugh at me for asking them out. Serious, I'm not sure if that's there nice way of letting me down or if they even realize they are doing it.


    I've done something like that and I've always felt bad about it.At the time, it just felt so unexpected and I didn't know what to do. Now I do. I would try not to take it personally.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 10, 2015 6:50 AM GMT
    To tell you the honest truth, there are very few gay men who actually want to marry.
    So often open relationships are always the suggested new social norm that I was confused why gay men even wanted gay marriage when even today there are aspects of gay relationships where cheating is somewhat socially expected.

    The point of open relationships I truly believe was to first remove the label of "cheater" and the shame that came along with it because the "relationship" was based on an understanding that it's still any man's game when it comes to sex.

    As I've said many times, nowadays convenience is often preferred rather than commitment because it's exactly that; convenient.
    It's easier to achieve, doesn't require too much investment that you would otherwise bring in a monogamous relationship.

    I feel that the fight for gay marriage was more so about having the rights for the sake of having it rather than actually having them because majority of gay people wanted to actually get married.

    There are a lot of gay guys who stick to open relationships for the purposes of waiting until they find the guy that they actually want to be monogamous with and then decide to have a committed serious long term monogamous relationship.

    At the end of the day though rights are rights so it's fine but now that gay marriage is legal I don't think there will be a paradigm shift.
    If anything open relationships may now be on the rise since they know that if they ever wanted to get married, they actually can now.

    That's just what I think may happen, I suppose only time will tell how much gay marriage will actually impact on gay relationships.
    Not holding my breath though lol I don't foresee any changes in current relationship dynamics to be honest, at least for gay men.
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    Aug 10, 2015 7:07 AM GMT
    DryMoan saidTo tell you the honest truth, there are very few gay men who actually want to marry.
    So often open relationships are always the suggested new social norm that I was confused why gay men even wanted gay marriage when even today there are aspects of gay relationships where cheating is somewhat socially expected.

    The point of open relationships I truly believe was to first remove the label of "cheater" and the shame that came along with it because the "relationship" was based on an understanding that it's still any man's game when it comes to sex.

    As I've said many times, nowadays convenience is often preferred rather than commitment because it's exactly that; convenient.
    It's easier to achieve, doesn't require too much investment that you would otherwise bring in a monogamous relationship.

    I feel that the fight for gay marriage was more so about having the rights for the sake of having it rather than actually having them because majority of gay people wanted to actually get married.

    There are a lot of gay guys who stick to open relationships for the purposes of waiting until they find the guy that they actually want to be monogamous with and then decide to have a committed serious long term monogamous relationship.

    At the end of the day though rights are rights so it's fine but now that gay marriage is legal I don't think there will be a paradigm shift.
    If anything open relationships may now be on the rise since they know that if they ever wanted to get married, they actually can now.

    That's just what I think may happen, I suppose only time will tell how much gay marriage will actually impact on gay relationships.
    Not holding my breath though lol I don't foresee any changes in current relationship dynamics to be honest, at least for gay men.


    I agree ... that's why I have always found the "love wins" concept so bizarre.
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    Aug 10, 2015 7:24 AM GMT
    swimmer_sf said
    DryMoan saidTo tell you the honest truth, there are very few gay men who actually want to marry.
    So often open relationships are always the suggested new social norm that I was confused why gay men even wanted gay marriage when even today there are aspects of gay relationships where cheating is somewhat socially expected.

    The point of open relationships I truly believe was to first remove the label of "cheater" and the shame that came along with it because the "relationship" was based on an understanding that it's still any man's game when it comes to sex.

    As I've said many times, nowadays convenience is often preferred rather than commitment because it's exactly that; convenient.
    It's easier to achieve, doesn't require too much investment that you would otherwise bring in a monogamous relationship.

    I feel that the fight for gay marriage was more so about having the rights for the sake of having it rather than actually having them because majority of gay people wanted to actually get married.

    There are a lot of gay guys who stick to open relationships for the purposes of waiting until they find the guy that they actually want to be monogamous with and then decide to have a committed serious long term monogamous relationship.

    At the end of the day though rights are rights so it's fine but now that gay marriage is legal I don't think there will be a paradigm shift.
    If anything open relationships may now be on the rise since they know that if they ever wanted to get married, they actually can now.

    That's just what I think may happen, I suppose only time will tell how much gay marriage will actually impact on gay relationships.
    Not holding my breath though lol I don't foresee any changes in current relationship dynamics to be honest, at least for gay men.


    I agree ... that's why I have always found the "love wins" concept so bizarre.


    Love has never and will never be enough
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 10, 2015 8:47 AM GMT
    the men just coming out, possibly from a semi accepting family, better community and schools might know what to do with the marriage thing. It just might be an option for them.

    Gay men who are 25-30years old are what they are.