Hookup or wait for love?

  • BlueMoose

    Posts: 237

    Jul 05, 2015 7:34 AM GMT
    Hey guys,

    I have been single for a little over 3 years now. I have been on lots of dates since last last relationship, but nothing has ever panned out past a few dates. I have hooked up with a couple of guys here and there, but have only had anal sex with one man since my last relationship. I was wondering what you guys think if I should do? Should I keep trying to go on dates or should I go out and hookup with a guy and get myself out of this rut I am in? I only bring this up is that I really been craving sex lately, but am overly paranoid about being safe and stuff. Let me know what you guys think.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 05, 2015 9:20 AM GMT
    why is this an either or proposition?
  • mar0302

    Posts: 273

    Jul 05, 2015 9:38 AM GMT
    Find a fwb..
  • BlueMoose

    Posts: 237

    Jul 05, 2015 2:38 PM GMT
    It isn't an either or just in general looking to have some fun but very cautious about it. When it comes to dating things go slower and allow time to become comfortable. As previously stated though its the struggle of waiting to meet someone I feel a connection with to date or just have fun. A friends with benefits may be good but usually starts with a hookup. Brings me back to the same problem.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Jul 05, 2015 4:31 PM GMT
    You're 24...have fun and be safe...
  • robb6565

    Posts: 1

    Jul 06, 2015 8:35 PM GMT
    BlueMoose saidHey guys,

    I have been single for a little over 3 years now. I have been on lots of dates since last last relationship, but nothing has ever panned out past a few dates. I have hooked up with a couple of guys here and there, but have only had anal sex with one man since my last relationship. I was wondering what you guys think if I should do? Should I keep trying to go on dates or should I go out and hookup with a guy and get myself out of this rut I am in? I only bring this up is that I really been craving sex lately, but am overly paranoid about being safe and stuff. Let me know what you guys think.
    I really enjoyed your profile and would like to get to know you. Robb
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2015 2:09 PM GMT
    Nowadays people prefer to hook up rather than wait for love.
    Even if love were to come by, it's missed most of the time since gay men only ever really focus on the hooking up aspect and it's just by chance they found "love".

    Even on here a lot of relationships started from hooking up without looking and per chance one time they really liked the guy and it was mutual.

    Either way, since most men are too lazy to actively do both and cannot really do both well at the same time, hooking up takes most of the focus because it's easier and quicker to achieve.
    Hence why open relationships are favoured for most gay men.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 872

    Jul 10, 2015 5:13 PM GMT
    It is your life, so you are calling the shots.

    I doubt that starting to wait at any age would get you anywhere. You'll end up frustrated with a bad case of blue balls, most likely.

    There is nothing wrong with trying to date, find a BF, and live in an LTR. Why should this plan be associated with any waiting?

    You go out, meet guys, make friends, have sex, and move around. No one is seriously expecting you to stay at home, waiting for them to show up, and sweep you off your feet.

    Very few guys these days would even seriously consider dating and starting a LTR with someone who is simply waiting for the things to happen. The things rarely happen. You make them happen.

    You may need more time to grow comfortable around someone in order to have sex with him. There are guys like you out there. They simply need more time, and share the belief that m2m sex has to be an expression of strong emotional bonds between the two men. Whereas, I do not share this view at all, I respect the people who do.

    However, by adopting this 'slow' view of the world, you are greatly limiting your dating pool. And you are working towards fulfilling your own 'waiting' prophecy. The more you wait the longer you get to waiticon_lol.gif

    If you are not happy with the results of your approach to dating, consider changing the approach. Doing the same thing over and over again trying to show to yourself that you have been right all the way is usually a well-paved way into failure.

    SC
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2015 9:12 PM GMT
    Could not say better than this guy above
    +1
  • BlueMoose

    Posts: 237

    Jul 11, 2015 5:18 AM GMT
    @ SilverRRCloud

    I used to be open to sex very easily if the attraction was there. The main reason I made this post was more of my fear of catching something by quickly jumping into the sack. I had a scare a couple of years back that created this fear. I am always safe but am very paranoid that I will get something. How do you suppose I get over this? I have been trying but never get the nerve to do anything beyond maybe oral at best.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3525

    Jul 13, 2015 5:07 AM GMT
    the vast majority of gay men want to be in relationships, BUT also want to be TOLD they are now in a relationship, and none of them want to actually ASK to get that date. The guys online are all just messing with the same crowd of people who just want to fuck and leave. Just go find a nice shy guy, and tell him you are now his boyfriend and he will say yes. It wont take many guys before that works, most people are too lazy to date.

  • BlueMoose

    Posts: 237

    Jul 13, 2015 6:46 PM GMT
    Haha if only it was that easy. most ppl i crush on are straight sadly
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 14, 2015 1:25 AM GMT
    It really depends on what You want. You can have fun casually, safe of course or just be serious with a dude. Or both. But to a certain point, you will need to have sex with that dude to see if you're compatible or not. I guess I'm over my slut phase Lol, I just had sex recently with a guy I care about. So yeah, it's different for everyone. icon_smile.gif
  • BlueMoose

    Posts: 237

    Jul 14, 2015 4:14 AM GMT
    Id prefer to be with someone I care about but also open to fun since its been so long. How do you guys meet people?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 14, 2015 4:23 AM GMT
    BlueMoose saidHookup or wait for love?
    Learn to love hookups then you'll have the best of both worlds.