Please tell me why I've never had a boyfriend?

  • infinitefrien...

    Posts: 376

    Jul 05, 2015 5:43 PM GMT
    Hey RJ'ers


    Well, I am 22 now and I've never had a boyfriend. I've been putting this off for far too long but I often feel so lonely and at times really depressed over the fact that I've never really been romantically intimate with a guy I liked (I am a guy). I often imagine being snuggled, kissed and loved by guys (or girls, but less often) I like but I don't really get anywhere in the end. All of it is just in my imagination and I've been single all of my life, except for a few dates when I was much younger.


    I know that there are many advantages to being single but, no matter how much I try to ignore or change my view on being single, I still want a partner to be intimate with - to have deep conversations, to smile with, to share life with or to simply snuggle up to.


    I've tried dating websites but I don't really end up going anywhere! Guys rarely initiate conversations (and those who do are too 'old', not really my type or are excessively perverted - and I am not really picky), and when I start conversations I am either completely ignored or they do not respond sufficiently so the conversation douses out. I've sent out countless 'expression of interest' messages and I think something must be seriously wrong with me either mentally or physically.


    I guess this post is an expression of my loneliness and a call out for a way to change. I am not built to be so alone.


    Anyway, all constructive inputs are awesomely appreciated.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 05, 2015 6:35 PM GMT
    You're not alone, I'm still a single pringle, and I know the struggle.

    Tbh I think 22 is quite young (I'm 20), men age like fine wine and I think we will get more attention once we've aged a little bit and our age group are more mature and open to long term relationships.

    You have a lot of time to find a relationship, try doing social things such as a social sport like volleyball or going out with people, just to put yourself out there. I meet a lot of guys but unfortunelty I'm quite picky icon_cool.gif
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    Jul 05, 2015 6:45 PM GMT
    Remington47 saidYou're not alone, I'm still a single pringle, and I know the struggle.

    Tbh I think 22 is quite young (I'm 20), men age like fine wine and I think we will get more attention once we've aged a little bit and our age group are more mature and open to long term relationships.

    You have a lot of time to find a relationship, try doing social things such as a social sport like volleyball or going out with people, just to put yourself out there. I meet a lot of guys but unfortunelty I'm quite picky icon_cool.gif



    haha id date ya bro
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 05, 2015 6:49 PM GMT
    For those who are new here, check this account's post history. It's a quasi-troll sock account who re-posts metafilter-style questions.

    Here's a real winner:

    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/4057257/
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 05, 2015 7:27 PM GMT
    anotherphil saidFor those who are new here, check this account's post history. It's a quasi-troll sock account who re-posts metafilter-style questions.

    Here's a real winner:

    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/4057257/


    Maybe it's because he's such a fucking pussy. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 05, 2015 8:06 PM GMT
    infinitefriend9 saidHey RJ'ers


    Well, I am 22 now and I've never had a boyfriend. I've been putting this off for far too long but I often feel so lonely and at times really depressed over the fact that I've never really been romantically intimate with a guy I liked (I am a guy). I often imagine being snuggled, kissed and loved by guys (or girls, but less often) I like but I don't really get anywhere in the end. All of it is just in my imagination and I've been single all of my life, except for a few dates when I was much younger.


    I know that there are many advantages to being single but, no matter how much I try to ignore or change my view on being single, I still want a partner to be intimate with - to have deep conversations, to smile with, to share life with or to simply snuggle up to.


    I've tried dating websites but I don't really end up going anywhere! Guys rarely initiate conversations (and those who do are too 'old', not really my type or are excessively perverted - and I am not really picky), and when I start conversations I am either completely ignored or they do not respond sufficiently so the conversation douses out. I've sent out countless 'expression of interest' messages and I think something must be seriously wrong with me either mentally or physically.


    I guess this post is an expression of my loneliness and a call out for a way to change. I am not built to be so alone.


    Anyway, all constructive inputs are awesomely appreciated.


    For one, you present yourself as a cat. Are you a cat? To me, that seems like a plan for failure. I encourage you to do this to become better adjusted: visit a straight site. Do we see pictures of cats, dogs, etc.? No. We need folks smiling in normal social setting with first, and last name. They're much easier to deal with because they have a higher level of social acceptanctence. You can't expect success when you present a plan for failure. Folks with good self acceptance, are fully pictured, and profile, and have high self acceptance. Folks are attracted to self-confidence people who like themselves.

    For tow, you're constantly self involved and negative. What a HUGE turnoff. Would you like to be around someone like you? Of course not. You're a real human being; not a cat.

    While rarely ignore people because I understand they're mentally ill, I certainly don't want someone in my life with all that negative baggage, self, loathing, low self acceptance, and constant neediness. The more atractive things may take you out of your comfort zone.

    First, you need to come up with a plan for success. Get social. Get you full name picture, interested, passions, causes, out there so folks have something to be attracted to. I'm am a gay / bi guy, and you're ruining your chances with such a poor presentation. Step up your game. Go look at a straight site, and come to understand how well adjusted people behave.

    Hard things are hard. If you do a minimal, sub standard effort, those are the sort of results you'll set.

    In my professional world, I'll get 500 emails and up to 200 voice mails, daily. Why? Because I planned for success.

    If you're comfortable who you are, it becomes a non issue to most. There should not be any any animals other than you in your profile. It's stupid, and says you're insecure, and a pain in next in terms of managing your negativity, low esteem, duality of life, etc. No body wants to have to deal with the drama. You shoot yourself in the foot. Like yourself first, and the result will follow. You have things completely of of order.

    I'm Chuck Gudgel. I'm a normal guy in most respect, although in the 28% tax, bracket, very good in my field, and exceptionally well built. I invite you to flow me on my Facebook page at gudgel.chuck, IG: gugelcl TW: gudgelcl SC: gudgelcl and Linked In Chuck Gudgel. I have nothing to be ashamed of and I want folks to they are not alone in wherverver they happen to fall on The Kinsey scale.

    You don't have a boyfriend because you're what I call head-fucked, too fragile for most folks to manage, and not just liking yourself, but, also, almost certainly lacking integrity. You wanna' play, you need to step up your game, get honest, with yourself in others, and present a presentation that will attract like -minded people. If you're 300 and fat and hairy, I'm happy to be your friend, but, don't want to be you coach, and I sure don't want sex with you.

    Finally, confirm you appearance on a judging site, like facethejury, or hotornot. I'm 55, but, I come back consistently as a 9.5 to 9.8. It's all in your presentation, and later, your presentation. Get off out the closet. The most important first step, like yourself and work from there.

    There is no age at which you should have a boyfriend. No one cares. If it happens it happens. When it does it will be magic, but, in the meantime, you need to address the underlying causes of your ongoing failures and take action. Hard things are hard. We walk into through, above, and beyond, our deepest challenges.

    If I have a weak boy part, I never coddle it. They only makes it weaker. Instead, I blast it until it was stronger than every before...SO ditch the cat. It's stupid beyond belief, and a huge turnoff. Who wants to deal with a guy who thinks he is a cat? No one. Plan for success, then, execute that plan.

    Unless there is something wrong with you, there is no reason you should present yourself as a cat. You are human being, albeit mal-alusted (you have issues around self-acceptance that are pushing people away from you, that you need to fix first.)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 05, 2015 8:10 PM GMT
    Hey...I don't have any 'answers' to your dilemma, but can relate - and I'm sure many others can as well. The only thing I might offer is this: I know I will sound like an old man...which relatively speaking I am...actually it's just out there...I am an old man!...however, you are a young man, and quite a young man. Your yearning and loneliness is understandable, but do consider that at age 22 you have many years and experiences ahead of you...and many, many people who will come into your life. The energy and intensity that a person has in their youth never completely goes away as we age...but it does mellow...and there is the recognition and understanding that one has to have patience with this thing called life. It doesn't all happen as we would like, or at the pace we would like, but life does happen to each of us. Be patient with your life would be my advice. Enjoy it, learn from it, don't take things too seriously, but seriously enough. Learn who you are, what you are all about, what your goals and dreams are...and sooner or later someone may just come along to share them with you...and honestly makes me add this...it's not always 100% true that it will work out in that way...the heart is a lonely hunter as the novelist wrote...and some of us fly solo through life's skies...and that's not a bad thing either. Just have faith in yourself...and patience.
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    Jul 05, 2015 8:16 PM GMT
    MGINSD said
    anotherphil saidFor those who are new here, check this account's post history. It's a quasi-troll sock account who re-posts metafilter-style questions.

    Here's a real winner:

    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/4057257/


    Maybe it's because he's such a fucking pussy. icon_wink.gif

    +1

    Coddle the weak part; it only gets weaker.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11819

    Jul 05, 2015 8:46 PM GMT
    I'll be honest...going by your writings and postings, you're way too needy...Guys hate that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 06, 2015 12:00 AM GMT
    chuckystud said
    In my professional world, I'll get 500 emails and up to 200 voice mails, daily. Why? Because I planned for success.

    I'm Chuck Gudgel. I'm a normal guy in most respect, although in the 28% tax, bracket, very good in my field, and exceptionally well built. I invite you to flow me on my Facebook page at gudgel.chuck, IG: gugelcl TW: gudgelcl SC: gudgelcl and Linked In Chuck Gudgel. I have nothing to be ashamed of and I want folks to they are not alone in wherverver they happen to fall on The Kinsey scale.

    Finally, confirm you appearance on a judging site, like facethejury, or hotornot. I'm 55, but, I come back consistently as a 9.5 to 9.8. It's all in your presentation, and later, your presentation. Get off out the closet. The most important first step, like yourself and work from there.


    I LOL-ed when I saw your pics.
    Chuck does have a point with the cat. That's a bad move and you need to fix that. Easy fix, if you have nothing to hide. Presentation is important and it's even more important that you are consistent long term with the image you want to project to a potential partner. So if you're a slob, then decide to clean up everywhere, only to go back to your slob-like ways, you're in trouble. The list goes on and on. Finding a guy is easy. Keeping him for the rest of your life, now that's the challenge.

    Don't brag, but do be confident. I think liking what you do is important. It sets a good tone, since our jobs do define us to a large degree. If you hate your job, this will probably affect your initial conversation with dates.

    You're very young and you will learn a lot as you go, but if you listen and apply what people are saying to you, you can avoid some pitfalls.
    Good luck and let us know how you make out.



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 06, 2015 3:09 AM GMT
    Referencehttp://www.realjock.com/allforumposts/895574/


    Who are you??
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 06, 2015 3:53 AM GMT
    What I'm about to say may be a bit cliched. Patience wins. Keep looking. You're still young. There are plenty of fish and you have plenty of time. It's also important to just enjoy what you do in life, like work, study, sports, hanging out with friends, and whatnots. In fact that will take up most of your time already, and you'll probably think you're busy and happy enough just being single. When one is in this state, in my belief, is when he is ready for a relationship.

    infinitefriend9 said
    I think something must be seriously wrong with me either mentally or physically.


    What do you think it could be?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 06, 2015 4:05 AM GMT
    Like the previous commenters mentioned, you need to present yourself more confidently to be taken seriously. Even more so when you are gay and in a fitness oriented website where physical appearances are very important. That is just the nature of the gay beast.

    I feel that I can relate with you infinitefriend9 because I am 22 and I have never been in relationship either. However, I do not feel distraught that I lack one because I am waiting for a relationship to occur organically. You should not treat a relationship as if were something you would mark off a to-do list because it undermines the sincerity of the action.

    Once again just present yourself well and you will find someone that likes you for you. However, it may not occur as immediately as you want it to but that is life.



  • ATLANTIS7

    Posts: 1213

    Jul 06, 2015 4:31 AM GMT
    I guess like me I am too fussy?
    Also I will go for Gold and not silver or bronze?

    But hey I am happy single........
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 06, 2015 7:05 AM GMT
    anotherphil saidFor those who are new here, check this account's post history. It's a quasi-troll sock account who re-posts metafilter-style questions.

    Here's a real winner:

    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/4057257/


    I was exactly having the same thoughts!

    And who would have thought this kitty cat's back again? icon_lol.gif
  • infinitefrien...

    Posts: 376

    Jul 06, 2015 12:23 PM GMT
    Guys, this is my profile on onlylads

    https://www.onlylads.com/profile/blackburn_infinitefriend/
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 06, 2015 4:12 PM GMT
    chuckystud said
    infinitefriend9 saidHey RJ'ers


    Well, I am 22 now and I've never had a boyfriend. I've been putting this off for far too long but I often feel so lonely and at times really depressed over the fact that I've never really been romantically intimate with a guy I liked (I am a guy). I often imagine being snuggled, kissed and loved by guys (or girls, but less often) I like but I don't really get anywhere in the end. All of it is just in my imagination and I've been single all of my life, except for a few dates when I was much younger.


    I know that there are many advantages to being single but, no matter how much I try to ignore or change my view on being single, I still want a partner to be intimate with - to have deep conversations, to smile with, to share life with or to simply snuggle up to.


    I've tried dating websites but I don't really end up going anywhere! Guys rarely initiate conversations (and those who do are too 'old', not really my type or are excessively perverted - and I am not really picky), and when I start conversations I am either completely ignored or they do not respond sufficiently so the conversation douses out. I've sent out countless 'expression of interest' messages and I think something must be seriously wrong with me either mentally or physically.


    I guess this post is an expression of my loneliness and a call out for a way to change. I am not built to be so alone.


    Anyway, all constructive inputs are awesomely appreciated.


    For one, you present yourself as a cat. Are you a cat? To me, that seems like a plan for failure. I encourage you to do this to become better adjusted: visit a straight site. Do we see pictures of cats, dogs, etc.? No. We need folks smiling in normal social setting with first, and last name. They're much easier to deal with because they have a higher level of social acceptanctence. You can't expect success when you present a plan for failure. Folks with good self acceptance, are fully pictured, and profile, and have high self acceptance. Folks are attracted to self-confidence people who like themselves.

    For tow, you're constantly self involved and negative. What a HUGE turnoff. Would you like to be around someone like you? Of course not. You're a real human being; not a cat.

    While rarely ignore people because I understand they're mentally ill, I certainly don't want someone in my life with all that negative baggage, self, loathing, low self acceptance, and constant neediness. The more atractive things may take you out of your comfort zone.

    First, you need to come up with a plan for success. Get social. Get you full name picture, interested, passions, causes, out there so folks have something to be attracted to. I'm am a gay / bi guy, and you're ruining your chances with such a poor presentation. Step up your game. Go look at a straight site, and come to understand how well adjusted people behave.

    Hard things are hard. If you do a minimal, sub standard effort, those are the sort of results you'll set.

    In my professional world, I'll get 500 emails and up to 200 voice mails, daily. Why? Because I planned for success.

    If you're comfortable who you are, it becomes a non issue to most. There should not be any any animals other than you in your profile. It's stupid, and says you're insecure, and a pain in next in terms of managing your negativity, low esteem, duality of life, etc. No body wants to have to deal with the drama. You shoot yourself in the foot. Like yourself first, and the result will follow. You have things completely of of order.

    I'm Chuck Gudgel. I'm a normal guy in most respect, although in the 28% tax, bracket, very good in my field, and exceptionally well built. I invite you to flow me on my Facebook page at gudgel.chuck, IG: gugelcl TW: gudgelcl SC: gudgelcl and Linked In Chuck Gudgel. I have nothing to be ashamed of and I want folks to they are not alone in wherverver they happen to fall on The Kinsey scale.

    You don't have a boyfriend because you're what I call head-fucked, too fragile for most folks to manage, and not just liking yourself, but, also, almost certainly lacking integrity. You wanna' play, you need to step up your game, get honest, with yourself in others, and present a presentation that will attract like -minded people. If you're 300 and fat and hairy, I'm happy to be your friend, but, don't want to be you coach, and I sure don't want sex with you.

    Finally, confirm you appearance on a judging site, like facethejury, or hotornot. I'm 55, but, I come back consistently as a 9.5 to 9.8. It's all in your presentation, and later, your presentation. Get off out the closet. The most important first step, like yourself and work from there.

    There is no age at which you should have a boyfriend. No one cares. If it happens it happens. When it does it will be magic, but, in the meantime, you need to address the underlying causes of your ongoing failures and take action. Hard things are hard. We walk into through, above, and beyond, our deepest challenges.

    If I have a weak boy part, I never coddle it. They only makes it weaker. Instead, I blast it until it was stronger than every before...SO ditch the cat. It's stupid beyond belief, and a huge turnoff. Who wants to deal with a guy who thinks he is a cat? No one. Plan for success, then, execute that plan.

    Unless there is something wrong with you, there is no reason you should present yourself as a cat. You are human being, albeit mal-alusted (you have issues around self-acceptance that are pushing people away from you, that you need to fix first.)

    I'm glad you called the kitty out on being self involved. That's a terrible thing, wouldn't you agree?
  • brickboy1966

    Posts: 359

    Jul 08, 2015 12:50 AM GMT
    Pfft. I haven't been intimate with anybody in over twenty years.
  • Nakedman1969

    Posts: 247

    Jul 08, 2015 1:59 AM GMT
    I'm 45 and I have yet to have full sex with any men or have any boyfriends so I can say your not alone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 08, 2015 3:13 AM GMT
    I'm 22 and single too! #Twinsies lol I've only been on two dates and both the guys were crazy/weird. Never been in an actual relationship as much as I want one I just try not to think about it. Go out with friends have fun and enjoy life. I'm really close with my friends and family so I usually hangout with them so I don't feel alone.

    every once in a while I'll start to feel sad about being single but then I'm just like "no bitch" then eat some Oreo's and everything is fine again icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 08, 2015 8:43 PM GMT
    Dennis92 saidI'm 22 and single too! #Twinsies lol I've only been on two dates and both the guys were crazy/weird. Never been in an actual relationship as much as I want one I just try not to think about it. Go out with friends have fun and enjoy life. I'm really close with my friends and family so I usually hangout with them so I don't feel alone.

    every once in a while I'll start to feel sad about being single but then I'm just like "no bitch" then eat some Oreo's and everything is fine again icon_biggrin.gif


    +1 - I'm going to buy myself some Oreos from work and take up that advice.

    I'm also 22 and single. I tend to become depressed about my inexperience (or minimum experience with men) as everyone else seems to be able to find someone to chat or hook up with, and I'm utterly clueless. On the other hand, I do have somewhat of a social life going by my occasional social outings, so I don't feel too bad.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 09, 2015 2:42 AM GMT
    Junny said
    Dennis92 saidI'm 22 and single too! #Twinsies lol I've only been on two dates and both the guys were crazy/weird. Never been in an actual relationship as much as I want one I just try not to think about it. Go out with friends have fun and enjoy life. I'm really close with my friends and family so I usually hangout with them so I don't feel alone.

    every once in a while I'll start to feel sad about being single but then I'm just like "no bitch" then eat some Oreo's and everything is fine again icon_biggrin.gif


    +1 - I'm going to buy myself some Oreos from work and take up that advice.

    I'm also 22 and single. I tend to become depressed about my inexperience (or minimum experience with men) as everyone else seems to be able to find someone to chat or hook up with, and I'm utterly clueless. On the other hand, I do have somewhat of a social life going by my occasional social outings, so I don't feel too bad.


    Glad I could help haha