Dealing with occasional but intense same sex attraction?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 06, 2015 7:19 AM GMT
    Hey guys,

    I've generally identified and considered myself a heterosexual man. Starting around the age of 15 or 16, though, I remember the beginnings of an attraction to men. Older men, in the range of 35 to 50. NO idea where it came from, but it's there. Once I reached college I had to freedom to act out on my urges and meet with older men for sexual encounters.

    The thing that bothers me is that it's like a box I take down from the shelf, deal with, and put back on the shelf to totally ignore for six to twelve months at a time. But when I DO act on it, I'm MORE excited in some ways than I ever am with women. Because it feels, taboo, forbidden?

    These are purely short term, sexual encounters, though. I'm not sure if I could do any sort of relationship with a man. I definitely enjoy the thought of a wife and kids but this has been the white elephant in the room and I'm old enough now, mid twenties, to call myself out on my own bullshit.

    Has anyone been in this boat before? Any advice or thoughts are appreciated.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 06, 2015 5:11 PM GMT
    Have you heard of a Kinsey scale?

    You probably are bi.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 06, 2015 5:13 PM GMT
    Could be any of a number of things including being molested at a young age which you could not remember.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Jul 06, 2015 5:32 PM GMT
    Most likely you're just deeply repressing your gay side. You may be bi but most bi guys seem comfortable with it whereas you are not. There's no question that our society makes the normal male/female with 2 kids in a house family appear the ultimate level of happiness but if you look more closely, most adults are not living that life. More than half. I tried it and it was great in some ways but not sustainable. Sooner or later you're going to want to be with a guy. If your sexual interest in women is diminishing, once you try to go monogamous for years, the interest will disappear. And you'll be in a tough spot. Though maybe with kids, which is both good and bad. Just my guess.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 06, 2015 10:58 PM GMT
    a gay household need not be limited: you can still have the house, career and children.

    You will not be successful in a straight relationship if every 6 months you find your self pulling that homo box off the shelf

    does your family play into this, would they feel comfortable with your husband. If you decided to swing that way?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 07, 2015 1:50 AM GMT
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