Friends With Benefits Question

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 08, 2015 11:51 PM GMT
    I have a friend that has talked about us messing around, but nothing has happened yet and I am thinking about bringing the topic up again. Any suggestions for starting a FWB. I'd like to know how to initiate a FWB. I mean is it okay to just ask my friend? Stories and experiences welcome. Thanks!
  • mystery905

    Posts: 745

    Jul 09, 2015 12:30 AM GMT
    We need nude pictures of both of you so we can visualize the compatibility!
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    Jul 09, 2015 1:32 AM GMT
    mystery905 saidWe need nude pictures of both of you so we can visualize the compatibility!


    haha I wish I had a nude picture of him.
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    Jul 09, 2015 1:36 AM GMT
    I've got a couple FWB's. First thing to consider is the "friend" part, meaning y'all actually do things together outside the bedroom...otherwise they're just fuck buddies.
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    Jul 09, 2015 2:43 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidI've got a couple FWB's. First thing to consider is the "friend" part, meaning y'all actually do things together outside the bedroom...otherwise they're just fuck buddies.


    We hang out, go out to eat and see movies. So yeah their is a friend component. Thanks very good points.

    Any one care to say how there FWB got started?
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    Jul 09, 2015 3:04 AM GMT
    UKPharmboy said
    paulflexes saidI've got a couple FWB's. First thing to consider is the "friend" part, meaning y'all actually do things together outside the bedroom...otherwise they're just fuck buddies.


    We hang out, go out to eat and see movies. So yeah their is a friend component. Thanks very good points.

    Any one care to say how there FWB got started?
    I'm an avid cyclist and kept seeing this other dude riding like a maniac through the neighborhood. One day I was out riding and recognized him in his yard, so I stopped to chat and invite him over for drinks and a bike ride. We've been riding buddies and best friends ever since. The "WB" part happened a few months into our friendship. I can hardly wait to get back to Miami to chill/ride with him again...and have a few minutes of "benefits" during our down time. icon_wink.gif
  • oldfart

    Posts: 328

    Jul 09, 2015 12:47 PM GMT
    Think about some nonverbal communication to open the door.
  • TroyAthlete

    Posts: 4269

    Jul 09, 2015 2:43 PM GMT
    You've already discussed it, so one of you needs to make a move the next time you're hanging out alone. That's what happened with the one true friend I'm comfortable banging.
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    Jul 09, 2015 5:17 PM GMT
    UKPharmboy saidI have a friend that has talked about us messing around, but nothing has happened yet and I am thinking about bringing the topic up again. Any suggestions for starting a FWB. I'd like to know how to initiate a FWB. I mean is it okay to just ask my friend? Stories and experiences welcome. Thanks!


    Just say to your friend "You wanna' get down?" Four possible responses: No response; yes; no; maybe.

    Don't overthink this.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 09, 2015 5:18 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    UKPharmboy said
    paulflexes saidI've got a couple FWB's. First thing to consider is the "friend" part, meaning y'all actually do things together outside the bedroom...otherwise they're just fuck buddies.


    We hang out, go out to eat and see movies. So yeah their is a friend component. Thanks very good points.

    Any one care to say how there FWB got started?
    I'm an avid cyclist and kept seeing this other dude riding like a maniac through the neighborhood. One day I was out riding and recognized him in his yard, so I stopped to chat and invite him over for drinks and a bike ride. We've been riding buddies and best friends ever since. The "WB" part happened a few months into our friendship. I can hardly wait to get back to Miami to chill/ride with him again...and have a few minutes of "benefits" during our down time. icon_wink.gif


    SOOO Jealous! hehe. My Bestie is 'straight' but I'd love to have the WB with him (as long as it didn't ruin the friendship).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 09, 2015 5:27 PM GMT
    next time the "mess around" topic surfaces see if you can move on it a little more. Patience.


    a standard 10 step video on it:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lm2a6klWHbc
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    Jul 09, 2015 10:29 PM GMT
    TroyAthlete saidYou've already discussed it, so one of you needs to make a move the next time you're hanging out alone. That's what happened with the one true friend I'm comfortable banging.


    Thanks! I this is what I was thinking. We plan to see a movie here soon and I am thinking about bringing up us messing around afterwards.

    Thanks guys for the responses. I really appreciate them!
  • oldfart

    Posts: 328

    Jul 10, 2015 4:25 AM GMT
    Keep us posted. Let us know how that date goes.
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    Jul 10, 2015 12:59 PM GMT
    oldfart saidKeep us posted. Let us know how that date goes.


    Will do. We plan to meet up in the next week or so and I plan to bring up the subject.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Jul 10, 2015 4:04 PM GMT
    I have tried the "FWB" route twice. Once and my request, once at his.

    Unfortunately (for me), after enough time, togetherness and intimate bedroom activities, I developed deeper feelings. That (again, unfortunately) were not reciprocated.

    Like all too many people who feel too deeply, separating Lust and Love is difficult for me to do over the long run.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 872

    Jul 10, 2015 4:59 PM GMT
    IMHE, FwBs are transient relationships that may promise a bit more than they actually deliver.

    Two dudes who find each other both sexually attractive and otherwise compatible go for a relationship of some kind. If at least, one of them is unavailable for any reason, they tend to go for the FwBs mode. It is a bit like neither fish, nor flesh, nor good red herring thing. So, I would not raise my hopes too high.

    I met a guy at one of the professional conventions I was attending, and we clicked right away. He was not out, and was determined NOT to live as a gay man. He wanted a family, kids, white picket fence, etc.

    It turned out that both of us were working for a major corporation as free lancers. This involved lots of travel, hotels, dinners and the usual corporate socializing all over the continent.

    It turned out that he was a sex-starved bottom dude. I found him pretty attractive, so besides sharing a very similar line or work, we also had the sexual bit which worked out pretty well.

    The dude was pretty high-strung though, and neither he nor I saw each other as regular BF material. (He was determined NOT to have a BF. And I was not interested to go to that length with him.) But we had quite something to talk about. We usually stayed at the same hotels, and mostly traveled for work.

    It turned out that both he and I figured quickly out that trying to hook up in yet another town we landed at with the dudes we did not know was going to involve some footwork. You also had to work the next morning. It only made sense to hit the hay after the dinner, do the deed, take a shower, and repeat it all in the morning before getting down to the grind.

    It all worked out just fine for as long as he did not find a more down-to-earth, Mo-Fri, 9-5 job that was going to help him start a family, etc. So, he virtually dropped from the radar. No regrets, though.

    SC

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2015 9:18 PM GMT
    you don't discuss with a person that you want them to be your FWB.

    just no.

    if it didn't happen yet just let it go.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2015 9:19 PM GMT
    FWB is such a BS type of whatever.

    but it's still better than guys that cheat.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2015 9:35 PM GMT
    Get him and yourself drunk in a gay club. The rest will be easy.
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    Aug 01, 2015 12:16 AM GMT
    oldfart saidKeep us posted. Let us know how that date goes.


    Well gentlemen we have hung out a couple times lately and had a good time together. I never brought up the FWB deal. This weekend he has his place to himself and there is no indication he plans to have me over. In fact, he has plans with some other friends. So just to update I have less than a 1% feeling anything sexual will ever happen with my friend which is fine. Just wish he never indicated he was interested in fooling around couple times in the past.
  • carew28

    Posts: 658

    Aug 01, 2015 4:37 AM GMT
    UKPharmboy said
    oldfart saidKeep us posted. Let us know how that date goes.


    Well gentlemen we have hung out a couple times lately and had a good time together. I never brought up the FWB deal. This weekend he has his place to himself and there is no indication he plans to have me over. In fact, he has plans with some other friends. So just to update I have less than a 1% feeling anything sexual will ever happen with my friend which is fine. Just wish he never indicated he was interested in fooling around couple times in the past.



    Well, it's too bad the fwb thing didn't work lately, but at least the two of you hung out & had a good time. That's better than nothing. The timing just may not have been right, and he may have had other committments. If you like him, you may as well maintain the friendship, and put the fwb possibilities on the backburner. You never know what the future will hold.