US man receives Fathers Day card from gay son 20 years after he died

  • metta

    Posts: 39134

    Jul 10, 2015 6:54 AM GMT
    US man receives Fathers Day card from gay son 20 years after he died



    http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/us-man-receives-fathers-day-card-from-gay-son-20-years-after-he-died/
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jul 10, 2015 7:12 AM GMT
    What a nice father's day gift
  • mwolverine

    Posts: 3385

    Jul 10, 2015 8:13 AM GMT
    Um, it wouldn't take 26 years, unless someone sat on it for 25 or it got lost in a mail chute.
    Furthermore this makes no sense unless someone opened the card (not a post-card but a letter) and read the contents - which would be a violation of Federal law.

    || They must have understood that it was important that the message from a son who was reaching out to his father got through in the end.

    They also wouldn't know that the son died 6 years after writing it.


    The headline is poorly written, too. Doesn't the "he" in "he died" refer to the subject, which is "US man" and not "gay son"?


    And no, it's not proof of Heaven, either, but I'm glad that dad is happy for his son despite their rocky relationship.

    What? There are gays in Heaven...? What is this world - I mean the next world - coming to?
    Will the religious nuts now boycott Heaven...?
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jul 10, 2015 6:06 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidReading the Facebook contributions toward the bottom of that article and you can clearly see that the majority of people's reaction to it is negative, and slightly snide. And with good reason, too.


    I just read some of their comments. I think some people are taking the strained relationship between the father and the son to heart, which is understandable.

    It would seem that the son did not live near the father which would seem logical, as most gay men move away to a city that is more accepting, therefore the mailing of the card.

    The son sent it in 89' and died in 95' at age 45. That would make him about 39 when he sent it and the father somewhere probably around 65 at the time it was sent and in his mid 80's now.

    It is unfortunate that society, especially our older society, from a quarter of a century ago, have had such a difficult time coming to grips with homosexuality, but that was way of the older generation, you can't change something that was ingrained into their minds and behaviors since childhood that easily.

    What I took away from the story was that perhaps the father was still wrestling internally with, yes, his son whom he still loved, burning in Hell, because that was the belief system he grew up with and mentally he could not move beyond it. I also see this as maybe some sort of loving son's sign from the great beyond (if you believe in that sort of thing, which I do) that his son forgave his father for his ignorance, wishing him a happy father's day and his message could ease his father's anguish, who could finally come to terms and realize that gay people go to Heaven too.

    I guess it is a matter of choice as to how you wish to interpret the story, and whether or not you choose to forgive those that have hurt us, or hold on to it. I'd rather just let it go once it no longer matters.
  • FRE0

    Posts: 4865

    Jul 10, 2015 6:29 PM GMT
    mwolverine saidUm, it wouldn't take 26 years, unless someone sat on it for 25 or it got lost in a mail chute.
    Furthermore this makes no sense unless someone opened the card (not a post-card but a letter) and read the contents - which would be a violation of Federal law.

    || They must have understood that it was important that the message from a son who was reaching out to his father got through in the end.

    They also wouldn't know that the son died 6 years after writing it.


    The headline is poorly written, too. Doesn't the "he" in "he died" refer to the subject, which is "US man" and not "gay son"?


    And no, it's not proof of Heaven, either, but I'm glad that dad is happy for his son despite their rocky relationship.

    What? There are gays in Heaven...? What is this world - I mean the next world - coming to?
    Will the religious nuts now boycott Heaven...?


    Every few years we read about a letter that was delivered may years after it was sent. That does happen although it is rare.
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    Jul 10, 2015 6:41 PM GMT
    I cannot help but wonder what his son was thinking as he lay dying...no response from Dad. Very sad.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jul 10, 2015 7:08 PM GMT
    The lives of gay men in the 80s and 90s was hell on earth, and then hell for eternity. Jesus loves, my ass. The all-knowing deity clearly picked sides, and chose to be affiliated with hate and scorn, and to reject love. But hey you have to forgive Christians for homophobia, cultural genocide, persecution of other religions, or else you go to hell? What a fucking evil cult.icon_evil.gif
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jul 11, 2015 2:12 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle said
    HottJoe saidThe lives of gay men in the 80s and 90s was hell on earth, and then hell for eternity. Jesus loves, my ass. The all-knowing deity clearly picked sides, and chose to be affiliated with hate and scorn, and to reject love. But hey you have to forgive Christians for homophobia, cultural genocide, persecution of other religions, or else you go to hell? What a fucking evil cult.icon_evil.gif


    What are you blathering about now?

    Like you, I get angry when I hear stories of people with deeply held religious beliefs disowning their gay children, especially in the tragic circumstances of gay men who died of AIDS at a time when much of society still scorned them and evidently thought Jesus's love meant gay people should burn in hell.
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    Jul 11, 2015 2:53 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle said
    HottJoe saidThe lives of gay men in the 80s and 90s was hell on earth, and then hell for eternity. Jesus loves, my ass. The all-knowing deity clearly picked sides, and chose to be affiliated with hate and scorn, and to reject love. But hey you have to forgive Christians for homophobia, cultural genocide, persecution of other religions, or else you go to hell? What a fucking evil cult.icon_evil.gif


    What are you blathering about now?


    He's only been exposed the nastiest versions of corrupted Christianity, hence his myopia.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jul 11, 2015 3:16 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    MuchMoreThanMuscle said
    HottJoe saidThe lives of gay men in the 80s and 90s was hell on earth, and then hell for eternity. Jesus loves, my ass. The all-knowing deity clearly picked sides, and chose to be affiliated with hate and scorn, and to reject love. But hey you have to forgive Christians for homophobia, cultural genocide, persecution of other religions, or else you go to hell? What a fucking evil cult.icon_evil.gif


    What are you blathering about now?


    He's only been exposed the nastiest versions of corrupted Christianity, hence his myopia.

    I think monotheism in general is pretty nasty. It's a spiritual dictatorship, and I'm a rebel.icon_cool.gif
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    Jul 11, 2015 4:51 AM GMT
    The guy felt threatened cause son was gay. Maybe too close to home. All this religion crap is just that; crap.

    Back in the day, before I was ready to accept my gayness, my beautiful GF said to me, "I'm a christian." I looked at her as if I were a deer blinded by headlights. Despite my four years of Catholic school, I had no idea what she was talking about.

    Fast forward several years to the last Psych class I needed to graduate. Prof introduced herself by saying she was a feminist. Audible silence. Crickets chirping.

    Who cares what you call yourself?!?

    Are you kind? Do you really care? Instead of blowing it, show it.
  • venue35

    Posts: 4644

    Jul 11, 2015 1:47 PM GMT
    I think the father feels guilty and misses his son.
    We all make mistakes but some people forgive more easily while others don't.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jul 11, 2015 7:30 PM GMT
    venue35 saidI think the father feels guilty and misses his son.
    We all make mistakes but some people forgive more easily while others don't.

    I don't think it's anyone's place to forgive the father. His only "crime" was believing what he was taught by his religion. I'm upset by what he and his generation and countless others were taught to believe. I'm just interested in slaying the dragon.
  • venue35

    Posts: 4644

    Jul 11, 2015 9:29 PM GMT
    I don't know why you keep bringing religion into this.
    Times were much different 25 years ago and his son being gay could have been 1 of many things that kept them apart
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jul 12, 2015 3:05 PM GMT
    venue35 saidI don't know why you keep bringing religion into this.
    Times were much different 25 years ago and his son being gay could have been 1 of many things that kept them apart

    I'm just placing blame where blame is due.

    It's actually what Jesus would do, and, as a mythicist, I will use myths to make my point, just like a believer would.
  • mwolverine

    Posts: 3385

    Jul 13, 2015 3:29 AM GMT
    FRE0 said
    mwolverine saidUm, it wouldn't take 26 years, unless someone sat on it for 25 or it got lost in a mail chute.
    Furthermore this makes no sense unless someone opened the card (not a post-card but a letter) and read the contents - which would be a violation of Federal law.

    || They must have understood that it was important that the message from a son who was reaching out to his father got through in the end.

    They also wouldn't know that the son died 6 years after writing it

    Every few years we read about a letter that was delivered may years after it was sent. That does happen although it is rare.

    Yes, but because someone cleaned it out of a mail chute (etc), not because people were diligently working - for 26 years - to track down dad at his new address.

    Certainly no one was motivated by the contents of the (presumably) unopened letter, or by the unknown (to them) fact that the son died 6 years later.
  • venue35

    Posts: 4644

    Jul 15, 2015 11:46 PM GMT
    Well the father misses his son. That means that something positive came out of this. He could have just thrown the letter in the trash if he wanted to. I have no idea why Jesus is to blame here as he never met either of them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 16, 2015 12:02 AM GMT
    venue35 saidWell the father misses his son. That means that something positive came out of this.
    #endthread