Gay men have ruined sex for me

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 12, 2015 3:45 AM GMT
    I am giving up on sex for a while. I have experienced so many lies just to get me in bed in the last 18 months, since I was dumped, that it has turned me off from sex. Lies are extremely off putting to me. I don't get it. Sex is the easiest thing for a gay man to find. I don't understand why so many gay men pretend to be your friend or pretend to have a romantic interest in you, the second you don't put out the ignore you. I have even had a guy insult me for having a rule about not sleeping with friends.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 12, 2015 4:03 AM GMT
    Congratulations, you've been officially treated like a woman icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 12, 2015 4:14 AM GMT
    David666k saidCongratulations, you've been officially treated like a woman icon_lol.gif


    icon_lol.gif Yes this has occurred to me. I might as well chop it off and expand my dating poolicon_cry.gif
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 875

    Jul 12, 2015 4:31 AM GMT
    Not much will change for anyone if you choose abstinence. The sun will still rise in the east, and other dudes will be still having the fun they want to have. There is plenty of fish in the sea.

    Guys may or may not be having romantic interest in you. If you stick with your rules, and deny them sex, they will move on. Life is too short for anyone to wait and see how your rules work out for them.

    So, you befriend a dude, and he says, he is romantically interested in you. He may or may not be saying the truth. You, then, turn him down on the sex bit, because you have your rules. The guy moves on because he sees you as a sexually negative person who is making it difficult for both you and him to have sex, and check if it works for you.

    More likely than not, you are creating your own problems by denying the reality of the fact that hardly anyone wants to invest his emotions, energy, time and money before making sure that you are sexually compatible.

    SC
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    Jul 12, 2015 4:50 AM GMT
    SilverRRCloud saidNot much will change for anyone if you choose abstinence. The sun will still rise in the east, and other dudes will be still having the fun they want to have. There is plenty of fish in the sea.

    Guys may or may not be having romantic interest in you. If you stick with your rules, and deny them sex, they will move on. Life is too short for anyone to wait and see how your rules work out for them.

    So, you befriend a dude, and he says, he is romantically interested in you. He may or may not be saying the truth. You, then, turn him down on the sex bit, because you have your rules. The guy moves on because he sees you as a sexually negative person who is making it difficult for both you and him to have sex, and check if it works for you.

    More likely than not, you are creating your own problems by denying the reality of the fact that hardly anyone wants to invest his emotions, energy, time and money before making sure that you are sexually compatible.

    SC


    I have no problem with what you are saying. Honestly I have no desire to invest my time in a guy who can't wait a week or two to have sex. I am not playing games. I just want to go on a few dates before I have a dick in my mouth.

    The problem I have is that knowing I am not willing to have sex very quickly guys still date me and then become frustrated when I don't drop everything to please them. My favorite was the guy who came on really strong. After turning him down for a week he says never mind and reveals he has a girlfriend. I also loved the dude who kept pressuring me to go back to my place for sex. It turns out he got into an argument with his family and was kicked out. He wanted to fuck me so he could spend the night. Then their is the friend who refused to spend time with me outside of work unless it was at my place. This guy made it very clear I wasn't his type. He constantly told me he liked younger guys and didn't want a relationship. When I would tell him what I was looking for, we were "friends", he would claim he was that guy. Yet every time I invited him out; movies, bar, karaoke, he would ignore me. Then the next day he is asking to come over.

    I am not playing games. I am being very upfront. Hell if a guy told me, "all i want to do is fuck you, no friendship, no relationship," I'd be all for it. At least he is being honest. If the dude is dangling friendship or romance in front of my face but can't even spend two weeks getting to know me before fucking me I don't want him. Yet gay men continuously tell me they are cool with not having sex, and then pressure me for sex.
  • Wendigo9

    Posts: 426

    Jul 12, 2015 6:32 AM GMT
    Sex may be part of human nature but from what I read, you crave a more realistic and intellectual relationship more than physical. A damn good thing that's hard to find let alone control in life.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jul 12, 2015 6:51 AM GMT
    abstinence equates to: they are obviously not interested in me, time to move on
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 12, 2015 6:57 AM GMT
    Gay men are pigs. They don't want a relationship; they want friendship and companionship and with that comes sex. I want to use you for my own interest. I don't want a relationship with you. That requires commitment and work. That's why I don't under stand as a community how anyone can support gay marriage. It's a sham. I know several gay men who cheat on their partners because the sex isn't good enough at home or they've lost interest in one another. Its a hypocrisy. Society is all about use and abuse. Its about me and what I can get, not about us or we, but me. Let me know how it goes. Sadly your in the minority my friend. Best wishes.
  • CheeseKraut

    Posts: 145

    Jul 12, 2015 3:33 PM GMT
    I think you are making a wise choice not having sex for a while. (But please splurge on some new porn and maybe a toy or two. There are enough cranky people in the world as it is.)

    [quote]I have even had a guy insult me for having a rule about not sleeping with friends. [/quote]

    While I understand what you mean, maybe you should consider becoming more friendly with guys before you do sleep with them.

    Gay guys are not pigs. At all. But they are guys and they do like a quick roll in the hay, mostly. That doesn't mean they are out to hurt you or able to understand that you expect more without asking for it for that matter.
    If you are looking for more than just sex you should be clear about that and not jump in the sack with someone you don't really know. So good thinking on the not doing that!
    Besides, more for me!

    If it's a relationship you are after, make the hook-up about what that means.
    Support, kindness, mutual interests.

    You are not better than others, right? That means others must be just as awesome as you are. Look for the awesomeness in others. Call it where you see it. Tell them the positive things you see them do.
    Just trust me on that. If you are what you want what you want will come to you.

    You just have to find your way into the partnership with someone who sees there is more to you than dat ass.
    Show them your assets. You apparently have a vulnerable romantic quality. Flaunt it. It's sought after.

  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jul 12, 2015 3:43 PM GMT
    Hiker98 saidGay men are pigs. They don't want a relationship; they want friendship and companionship and with that comes sex. I want to use you for my own interest. I don't want a relationship with you. That requires commitment and work. That's why I don't under stand as a community how anyone can support gay marriage. It's a sham. I know several gay men who cheat on their partners because the sex isn't good enough at home or they've lost interest in one another. Its a hypocrisy. Society is all about use and abuse. Its about me and what I can get, not about us or we, but me. Let me know how it goes. Sadly your in the minority my friend. Best wishes.

    There are many gay married couples who defy your stereotypes, and their constitutional rights supersede your bitter attempt to begrudge them happiness.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2015 12:12 AM GMT
    Making gay friends can be a flaky proccess. I am very friendly with ugly and pretty gay men alike so as much as I want to become good friends with these gay men, many of try it and fail and expect me to feel guilty about rejecting them. Like I should unwillingly be that guy for their pigly asses. There's a lot of gems out there tho.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Jul 13, 2015 12:28 AM GMT
    MrFuscle saidI am giving up on sex for a while. I have experienced so many lies just to get me in bed in the last 18 months, since I was dumped, that it has turned me off from sex. Lies are extremely off putting to me. I don't get it. Sex is the easiest thing for a gay man to find. I don't understand why so many gay men pretend to be your friend or pretend to have a romantic interest in you, the second you don't put out the ignore you. I have even had a guy insult me for having a rule about not sleeping with friends.
    Dust off your g-string and tap dance yo way to happiness...
  • kingcaleb80

    Posts: 5

    Jul 13, 2015 12:32 AM GMT
    Stick with what you believe in. There's nothing wrong with waiting before you hop into bed with someone. I dont get what the big rush is. If you don't want a relationship built just off sex, then make'em wait.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2015 1:58 AM GMT
    CheeseKraut said
    If you are looking for more than just sex you should be clear about that and not jump in the sack with someone you don't really know. So good thinking on the not doing that!
    Besides, more for me!

    If it's a relationship you are after, make the hook-up about what that means.
    Support, kindness, mutual interests.


    This is the problem I am having. I am being very upfront. What I am disgusted by are the guys who will then claim they are looking for the same thing but they really only want sex. Its the constant lying that has turned me off.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2015 2:05 AM GMT
    BP201 saidMaking gay friends can be a flaky proccess. I am very friendly with ugly and pretty gay men alike so as much as I want to become good friends with these gay men, many of try it and fail and expect me to feel guilty about rejecting them.


    This is what I am looking for. I just want gay friend's who do not expect me to have sex with them. Dating wise a dude who demands we have sex before going on a few dates is a turn off. It doesn't mean I won't have sex with him. If you are going to pressure me and lie to get past my boundaries you don't have my best interest at heart. In that case why would I date you in the first place.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2015 2:06 AM GMT
    mybud said
    MrFuscle saidI am giving up on sex for a while. I have experienced so many lies just to get me in bed in the last 18 months, since I was dumped, that it has turned me off from sex. Lies are extremely off putting to me. I don't get it. Sex is the easiest thing for a gay man to find. I don't understand why so many gay men pretend to be your friend or pretend to have a romantic interest in you, the second you don't put out the ignore you. I have even had a guy insult me for having a rule about not sleeping with friends.
    Dust off your g-string and tap dance yo way to happiness...


    Yassss, I am thinking about taking some dance classes in a few weeks too icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2015 2:07 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidSometimes taking a break from sex is a good thing.

    Regroup and re-prioritize.


    Definitely re-prioritizing, liars don't deserve my bussy icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2015 2:23 AM GMT
    Hiker98 saidGay men are pigs. They don't want a relationship; they want friendship and companionship and with that comes sex. I want to use you for my own interest. I don't want a relationship with you. That requires commitment and work. That's why I don't under stand as a community how anyone can support gay marriage. It's a sham. I know several gay men who cheat on their partners because the sex isn't good enough at home or they've lost interest in one another. Its a hypocrisy. Society is all about use and abuse. Its about me and what I can get, not about us or we, but me. Let me know how it goes. Sadly your in the minority my friend. Best wishes.


    Stop spreading your ill thoughts, don't generalize everyone at the same level.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2015 2:26 AM GMT
    Stop being such a pussy.

    We are men. We like to fuck.

    Grow a pair and start thinking like a man!!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2015 9:06 PM GMT
    It seems like you're the common denominator in these situations. Why is it that, after establishing your ground rules initially and discovering they can't meet them, do you give these guys the time of day? If you're not interested in sleeping with someone but they are, you end it right there and move on. Trying to see if you can change them is waste of both of your times.
  • PRDGUY

    Posts: 641

    Jul 22, 2015 9:09 PM GMT
    Chulo saidStop being such a pussy.

    We are men. We like to fuck.

    Grow a pair and start thinking like a man!!!!


    +1
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 23, 2015 2:50 AM GMT
    Welcome to equality. This is why a certain political group wants to push gays back into the closet.

    When being gay was socially unacceptable, it was easier for ugly old men to get laid for free because of the taboo nature of it. Now because it's become more of a social norm in many areas, gays are free to be the emotional equivalent of many straight men, who've always had the reputation of being sexual pigs. The result is that now the ugly old men have to pay for sex that used to be free.

    The latent effect is that we'll encounter more lies and deceit by guys who want to get laid, just like women have been putting up with for years.