A bisexual guy...

  • HWJ93

    Posts: 6

    Jul 13, 2015 7:30 AM GMT
    Lately I've struggled when it comes to guys, always mess it up somehow or the guy was just keeping you on a string.

    I've started talking to a guy recently, from the first time the conversation just flowed great, we share a lot of interests, we are both not the girly type, same length, etc.

    We were both serious about meeting up so we arranged a date, initially we would've went out on saturday night but I was uncomfortable with meeting someone for the first time at a club where you cannot even hear one another.. also it would've been a straight club. We discussed this and to my surprise he handled it in a very grown up manner, suggested we should rather go for lunch then the next day.

    So the 'date' realised and we went to lunch, he is a great guy and I was very comfortable around him, we had lunch and then it almost tutrned out in a movie afterwards but due to other arrangements made ealier there was not enough time for the movie we wanted to see.

    If I had a type, this guy would basically fit every criteria... Only one problem, he is BISEXUAL. Of course I'm afraid of this, I think he is not out at all, most of his friends are straight and hence a bit of denial if you ask me, why would you meet me if you think you should get a girl next?

    He also asked me if I want to go to a theme park with him next weekend and then go for that movie as well... I think I should check it out and give it a chance. I liked what I saw and it was clear it is mutual, but maybe I'm just something 'new' in his eyes and then I ask myself for how long...

    I'm not trying to take it too serious, but because this guy is basically my dream guy I feel I should give it a try and take it easy, although bisexual guys are uncharted waters to me and that's where my worries begin...

    Should I run or take it easy and see what develops?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2015 7:33 AM GMT
    "same length" icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2015 7:33 AM GMT
    David666k said"same length" icon_lol.gif


    5WrNyAl.gif
  • HWJ93

    Posts: 6

    Jul 13, 2015 7:38 AM GMT
    josh_92 said
    David666k said"same length" icon_lol.gif


    5WrNyAl.gif


    Same length as in around 1.88m tall. Dont see why that's so funny but i guess if you are only one track minded you'd find it funny.
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    Jul 13, 2015 8:08 AM GMT
    HWJ93 said... he is not out at all, most of his friends are straight and hence a bit of denial ...


    -maybe he never dated a guy before?
    -be careful dating someone in the closet. A relationship is about sharing, no life to share if he is in the closet.
    -he must introduce you to his friends
    -you should be able to talk to him about this. It is an old subject. Bisexual or not a monogamous relationship is possible.
  • NYC_BOI

    Posts: 80

    Jul 13, 2015 12:09 PM GMT
    Ew why would you want to go to a straight club lol?
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    Jul 13, 2015 1:38 PM GMT
    Like you said : give it a try ! You both seem to get along, wait for a while, to get to know each other better. If his bisexuality remains an issue for you, adress it ! I bet if he's as great as you feel he is, he will be able to understand your conserns, and give a proper answer ;)

    What you fear is just what you don't know, same goes for some straight people about us. The best way to get over it is to simply get to know it, instead of sticking to our apprehensions.
  • wesv

    Posts: 907

    Jul 13, 2015 5:01 PM GMT
    Take it easy. You can never go wrong with that.

    Btw from my experiences bi guys can be absurd. They talk about girls to GAY men. Do they not know what gay means?
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    Jul 13, 2015 5:04 PM GMT
    Don't be talking about "dream guys" after one date. Keep level headed. The bisexual thing might just be the transition to coming out...or it mightn't. All things to find out later. If you're a good judge of character you should be able to see pretty easily if your a new toy or he's genuine in his interest.
    But yes the closet thing can be hard, not impossible but hard. Mainly because of the defensiveness closeted guys bring to the table.

    Good luck with it
  • mybud

    Posts: 11819

    Jul 13, 2015 5:14 PM GMT
    Bisexual guys want the candy, but not the wrap it comes in. I know from experience..It will end with him dumping you, after he uses it up sexually as well as emotionally. You'll get bitter, curse the day he was born and start burning black candles at midnight in the devilish attempt to draw him back. Why would you want to be mired in such BULLSHIT?
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    Jul 13, 2015 5:54 PM GMT
    wesv saidTake it easy. You can never go wrong with that.

    Btw from my experiences bi guys can be absurd. They talk about girls to GAY men. Do they not know what gay means?


    Why is that a problem? Straight guys talk to me about girls. Straight guys talk to me about guys. Its fun sometimes figuring what the other finds attractive, its like a game.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Jul 13, 2015 6:04 PM GMT
    Bjorkio saidLike you said : give it a try ! You both seem to get along, wait for a while, to get to know each other better. If his bisexuality remains an issue for you, adress it ! I bet if he's as great as you feel he is, he will be able to understand your conserns, and give a proper answer ;)

    What you fear is just what you don't know, same goes for some straight people about us. The best way to get over it is to simply get to know it, instead of sticking to our apprehensions.


    This is it. Who knows, maybe he's not really bi and just realizing it. But even if he is, just like with exclusively gay guys, some are nice and some are jerks. If you like him, give him a chance. Remember, dating is about finding the ONE guy you just like so much. Those other guys are just other guys, not him.
  • NightwingDoct...

    Posts: 318

    Jul 13, 2015 6:11 PM GMT
    it's not about what the sexual oroentation is it's about the guy! If he's wanting to meet you in public i feel like he doesnt care what others think( obviously you should ask him if he's out or not). Just because he's bisexual doesnt mean He'"should get a girl next!"
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    Jul 13, 2015 6:11 PM GMT
    Just leave it as a hook-up and nothing more. If that hasn't happened yet, I wouldn't even bother returning his calls, especially not for some nonsense like going to a theme park or a movie, which is a big waste of time. It's not a big deal, but it's still a step too far.
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    Jul 13, 2015 6:47 PM GMT
    mickeybookworm saidDon't be talking about "dream guys" after one date. Keep level headed. The bisexual thing might just be the transition to coming out...or it mightn't. All things to find out later. If you're a good judge of character you should be able to see pretty easily if your a new toy or he's genuine in his interest.
    But yes the closet thing can be hard, not impossible but hard. Mainly because of the defensiveness closeted guys bring to the table.

    Good luck with it


    what he said icon_idea.gif
  • johnnyqhomo7

    Posts: 119

    Jul 13, 2015 7:20 PM GMT
    I have it BAD for this guy I met on here. Curse real jock rofl icon_smile.gif. I know what you are going through. Let me ask something, why are you in a straight club at all? I am not saying this is bad, but we as the homosexual people should maintain some kind of identity apart from our oppressors. Anyhow, onto the bi guy. Is he nice? Also, bisexuals imho are kinda.. geez how do i say this without being offensive..wishy washy. They have the option of either being with some whore or with a guy. Its their nature though, more power to them, I just hate to see people get used and thrown away. Try to see if he's into more stuff you like and go from there.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11819

    Jul 13, 2015 7:30 PM GMT
    MrFuscle said
    wesv saidTake it easy. You can never go wrong with that.

    Btw from my experiences bi guys can be absurd. They talk about girls to GAY men. Do they not know what gay means?


    Why is that a problem? Straight guys talk to me about girls. Straight guys talk to me about guys. Its fun sometimes figuring what the other finds attractive, its like a game.
    Maybe it's this attitude that has you presently jaded about gay relationships in general..My thoughts after reading your post days ago.
  • wellwell

    Posts: 2265

    Jul 13, 2015 8:01 PM GMT
    GROW UP !

    You're behaving like a grade school girl; stop wondering & find out.
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    Jul 13, 2015 8:02 PM GMT
    mybud said
    MrFuscle said
    wesv saidTake it easy. You can never go wrong with that.

    Btw from my experiences bi guys can be absurd. They talk about girls to GAY men. Do they not know what gay means?


    Why is that a problem? Straight guys talk to me about girls. Straight guys talk to me about guys. Its fun sometimes figuring what the other finds attractive, its like a game.
    Maybe it's this attitude that has you presently jaded about gay relationships in general..My thoughts after reading your post days ago.


    i'm confused, why would talking to my straight friends about what they find attractive in girls lead to gay men lying to me about what they are looking for. That's all that is bothering me. Sometimes my straight friends will ask me if i find a guy attractive or not. They are just curious. Sometimes I will ask them if they find a chick attractive, just to see if I have pinned down what they find attractive. You seem nice so i will assume our post wasn't malicious in nature. I am not sure what my relationship with straight people has to do with gay men lying to have sex with me when saying I only want to have sex with you, would have worked better.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11819

    Jul 13, 2015 8:27 PM GMT
    MrFuscle said
    mybud said
    MrFuscle said
    wesv saidTake it easy. You can never go wrong with that.

    Btw from my experiences bi guys can be absurd. They talk about girls to GAY men. Do they not know what gay means?


    Why is that a problem? Straight guys talk to me about girls. Straight guys talk to me about guys. Its fun sometimes figuring what the other finds attractive, its like a game.
    Maybe it's this attitude that has you presently jaded about gay relationships in general..My thoughts after reading your post days ago.


    i'm confused, why would talking to my straight friends about what they find attractive in girls lead to gay men lying to me about what they are looking for. That's all that is bothering me. Sometimes my straight friends will ask me if i find a guy attractive or not. They are just curious. Sometimes I will ask them if they find a chick attractive, just to see if I have pinned down what they find attractive. You seem nice so i will assume our post wasn't malicious in nature. I am not sure what my relationship with straight people has to do with gay men lying to have sex with me when saying I only want to have sex with you, would have worked better.
    Your workage using "games" made me state it. If you play the match game, you may burn a finger..Bye
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    Jul 13, 2015 8:55 PM GMT
    mybud said
    MrFuscle said
    mybud said
    MrFuscle said
    wesv saidTake it easy. You can never go wrong with that.

    Btw from my experiences bi guys can be absurd. They talk about girls to GAY men. Do they not know what gay means?


    Why is that a problem? Straight guys talk to me about girls. Straight guys talk to me about guys. Its fun sometimes figuring what the other finds attractive, its like a game.
    Maybe it's this attitude that has you presently jaded about gay relationships in general..My thoughts after reading your post days ago.


    i'm confused, why would talking to my straight friends about what they find attractive in girls lead to gay men lying to me about what they are looking for. That's all that is bothering me. Sometimes my straight friends will ask me if i find a guy attractive or not. They are just curious. Sometimes I will ask them if they find a chick attractive, just to see if I have pinned down what they find attractive. You seem nice so i will assume our post wasn't malicious in nature. I am not sure what my relationship with straight people has to do with gay men lying to have sex with me when saying I only want to have sex with you, would have worked better.
    Your workage using "games" made me state it. If you play the match game, you may burn a finger..Bye


    I'm not sure what the match game is. My straight friends don't match me up with people. Lol, by game I simply meant we try to discover what we find attractive in other people. I think its harmless. Lol i discovered that I tend to view more masculine looking women as attractive and can't spot what y straight make friends find attractive to save my life.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11819

    Jul 13, 2015 9:22 PM GMT
    MrFuscle said
    mybud said
    MrFuscle said
    mybud said
    MrFuscle said
    wesv saidTake it easy. You can never go wrong with that.

    Btw from my experiences bi guys can be absurd. They talk about girls to GAY men. Do they not know what gay means?


    Why is that a problem? Straight guys talk to me about girls. Straight guys talk to me about guys. Its fun sometimes figuring what the other finds attractive, its like a game.
    Maybe it's this attitude that has you presently jaded about gay relationships in general..My thoughts after reading your post days ago.


    i'm confused, why would talking to my straight friends about what they find attractive in girls lead to gay men lying to me about what they are looking for. That's all that is bothering me. Sometimes my straight friends will ask me if i find a guy attractive or not. They are just curious. Sometimes I will ask them if they find a chick attractive, just to see if I have pinned down what they find attractive. You seem nice so i will assume our post wasn't malicious in nature. I am not sure what my relationship with straight people has to do with gay men lying to have sex with me when saying I only want to have sex with you, would have worked better.
    Your workage using "games" made me state it. If you play the match game, you may burn a finger..Bye


    I'm not sure what the match game is. My straight friends don't match me up with people. Lol, by game I simply meant we try to discover what we find attractive in other people. I think its harmless. Lol i discovered that I tend to view more masculine looking women as attractive and can't spot what y straight make friends find attractive to save my life.
    Words have meaning.."Games"
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    Jul 13, 2015 9:35 PM GMT
    mybud said
    MrFuscle said
    mybud said
    MrFuscle said
    mybud said
    MrFuscle said
    wesv saidTake it easy. You can never go wrong with that.

    Btw from my experiences bi guys can be absurd. They talk about girls to GAY men. Do they not know what gay means?


    Why is that a problem? Straight guys talk to me about girls. Straight guys talk to me about guys. Its fun sometimes figuring what the other finds attractive, its like a game.
    Maybe it's this attitude that has you presently jaded about gay relationships in general..My thoughts after reading your post days ago.


    i'm confused, why would talking to my straight friends about what they find attractive in girls lead to gay men lying to me about what they are looking for. That's all that is bothering me. Sometimes my straight friends will ask me if i find a guy attractive or not. They are just curious. Sometimes I will ask them if they find a chick attractive, just to see if I have pinned down what they find attractive. You seem nice so i will assume our post wasn't malicious in nature. I am not sure what my relationship with straight people has to do with gay men lying to have sex with me when saying I only want to have sex with you, would have worked better.
    Your workage using "games" made me state it. If you play the match game, you may burn a finger..Bye


    I'm not sure what the match game is. My straight friends don't match me up with people. Lol, by game I simply meant we try to discover what we find attractive in other people. I think its harmless. Lol i discovered that I tend to view more masculine looking women as attractive and can't spot what y straight make friends find attractive to save my life.
    Words have meaning.."Games"


    True, I just don't see how my behavior is different from that of most people. Plenty of people play spot the hottie. I happen to do it with gay and straight people. It seems you are caught up on one word. I don't deserve to be lied to. Even if you think me playing a very normal game with my peers means I deserve to be lied to, I don't.
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    Jul 13, 2015 10:12 PM GMT
    MrFuscle said
    mybud said
    MrFuscle said
    mybud said
    MrFuscle said
    mybud said
    MrFuscle said
    wesv saidTake it easy. You can never go wrong with that.

    Btw from my experiences bi guys can be absurd. They talk about girls to GAY men. Do they not know what gay means?


    Why is that a problem? Straight guys talk to me about girls. Straight guys talk to me about guys. Its fun sometimes figuring what the other finds attractive, its like a game.
    Maybe it's this attitude that has you presently jaded about gay relationships in general..My thoughts after reading your post days ago.


    i'm confused, why would talking to my straight friends about what they find attractive in girls lead to gay men lying to me about what they are looking for. That's all that is bothering me. Sometimes my straight friends will ask me if i find a guy attractive or not. They are just curious. Sometimes I will ask them if they find a chick attractive, just to see if I have pinned down what they find attractive. You seem nice so i will assume our post wasn't malicious in nature. I am not sure what my relationship with straight people has to do with gay men lying to have sex with me when saying I only want to have sex with you, would have worked better.
    Your workage using "games" made me state it. If you play the match game, you may burn a finger..Bye


    I'm not sure what the match game is. My straight friends don't match me up with people. Lol, by game I simply meant we try to discover what we find attractive in other people. I think its harmless. Lol i discovered that I tend to view more masculine looking women as attractive and can't spot what y straight make friends find attractive to save my life.
    Words have meaning.."Games"


    True, I just don't see how my behavior is different from that of most people. Plenty of people play spot the hottie. I happen to do it with gay and straight people. It seems you are caught up on one word. I don't deserve to be lied to. Even if you think me playing a very normal game with my peers means I deserve to be lied to, I don't.


    I think he's just trying to take a dig at you. Don't try to make sense of it. That's a waste of time lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2015 11:13 PM GMT
    As with anything, don't prejudge a person until you know them. Not all bi guys are the same just like not all gay guys are the same. It is important to find out what "bi" means in their mind. Specifically asking: "How emotionally attracted are you to men? As in have you ever had a crush or been in love with a guy?" From my experience, their answer to this is probably the most telling. There are many bi guys who are emotionally in love with women but only physically attracted to men (or only open to physical interaction with men).

    You probably want a guy who is emotionally capable of being with men, unless you just want to be fuck buddies.