The over sexualisation of gay culture are you happy with it or not ?

  • Matthew56

    Posts: 392

    Jul 15, 2015 7:19 AM GMT
    So are you happy with the fact that gay culture is heavily sexualised and that we are bombarded in gay culture and media constantly with ripped buff men that are supposed to be the "gay gods" of the gay world and also with the over saturation of gay saunas-sex clubs. Here in London I would say there is about 20 saunas/sex clubs for Gay men not to mention the rise of Grindr which a gay man can use to get sex anytime he wants. So are you happy with this heavy emphasis on sex in gay culture or do you think it's too much and needs to be tone down or even slightly embarrassed with the oversexualistaion of gay culture

    What are you're thoughts? DIscuss
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    Jul 15, 2015 3:47 PM GMT
    what do you expect from a demographic based on sexuality? sex is the only culture. this is nothing new. read larry kramer's faggots. toning down reality would be sugar-coating.
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    Jul 15, 2015 3:54 PM GMT
    The over sexualisation of gay culture are you happy with it or not ?

    Happy when I've been on the receiving end of it! icon_biggrin.gif

    Seriously I only see over-sexual aspects among young gays. Not surprising - raging hormones and all that. Young straight men are pretty sexually oriented, too.

    By later decades most gays of my experience become very settled down. Instead of Mom & Pop tranquility it's Pop & Pop. True, a few try for a second childhood, and think they can start all over again with twinks half their age or more, but those are really in the minority. Just like with middle-aged straight guys.

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    Jul 15, 2015 3:59 PM GMT
    Count the number of titty bars you see vs the number of sexual themed clubs (the ones with male dancers) and bathhouses. Then put that number in context with the number of straight men vs gay men.

    You'll quickly realize the hetero world is WAY more sexual than the gay world. After all...when's the last time you read about some gay king having 300 husbands and even more boyfriends?
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    Jul 15, 2015 4:03 PM GMT
    My only pet peeve is when becomes distracting. I read a few gay detective fiction and sometimes the sex scenes were too graphic. A lot more graphic than the actual plot of the story lol.
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    Jul 15, 2015 4:11 PM GMT
    Not really, my only problem with it are that so many gay men lie to get sex.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jul 15, 2015 6:09 PM GMT
    I think people who complain about the supposed promiscuity in the gay community are projecting their internalized homophobia onto the rest of us. Right now, thousands of gay couples are defying the stereotypes homophobes label us with by getting married, and they aren't doing it in a bath house. And that Larry Kramer book "Faggots," which I doubt many people on here have read, has always been regarded as trash.
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    Jul 15, 2015 6:39 PM GMT
    NEWS FLASH: there's nothing wrong with enjoying sex.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jul 16, 2015 1:30 AM GMT
    theantijock saidNEWS FLASH: there's nothing wrong with enjoying sex.

    Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1889!
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    Jul 16, 2015 1:33 AM GMT
    HottJoe said
    theantijock saidNEWS FLASH: there's nothing wrong with enjoying sex.

    Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1889!


    Does that make cocaine legal then?
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jul 16, 2015 1:37 AM GMT
    MrFuscle said
    HottJoe said
    theantijock saidNEWS FLASH: there's nothing wrong with enjoying sex.

    Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1889!


    Does that make cocaine legal then?

    Don't forget the opium and the absinthe.
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    Dec 14, 2015 2:33 PM GMT
    Yes Gay culture is over sexualized and the fact that sexual orientation is the primary biding factor does make any correction of this phenomenon difficult. To blame this on youth and try to cover up by stating that heterosexuals do it to is simply a low-brow 'race to the bottom'[not a pun just a widely accepted ephemisim] type argument which adds nothing. I do not claim to be an angel and I have slept around as well and do not regret it, but I am not seeking to justify my excesses by saying look over there, he is doing it too as it is childish

    I find the fixation of Gay men (who are pro-free love for everyone), to be the most unhelpful and their response of don't force your morals/religion ect on me ....... to smack of hypocricy as they are the same ones who preach that you are not a real gay men unless you sleep with lots of other guys. I don't believe it's just horny young men at all thats BS, older gay men need to address their own trauma from being brought up in a society which condemned them for just being gay, not perpetuate a continuation of unhealthy relations between our fellow gay men.

    I don't subscribe to the argument that as men we are biologically pre-disposed to seek a mate/partner, who is better than the one we have already have, or a biological imperative to seek as many sexual experiences as possible. I also find the generalized response of many experienced gay men to dismiss anyone challenging the notion that to reduce our fixation with hyper sexual behavior very troublesome.

    Conversely I am certain that all the studies which show the benefits of healthy sex life, prove that periods of self imposed celibacy unless it's for medical reasons. I am also very aware and acknowledge that there is a sizeable minority who are not engaging in problematic behaviours of which are defined as those of which inhibit elements of our daily functioning and may even be definable as an addiction.

    We are bombarded so much that many gay men develop a sense that their sexual prowess is the one and only identity they have, then we wonder why as we mature and loose that peak prowess that for many our mental health, relationships suffer, our careers become stunted and the incidences of substance abuse to cope with being part of a community that only values sexual prowess. I am not saying this as sour grapes as I am having a healthy sex life myself. Many gay men learn to engage in sex to get anything and everything they need, for many not out of any other motivation than to feel they are able to negotiate through the minefield of the Gay scene which perpetuates the idea that you must be heavily engaged in lots of sex or be considered less desirable or worse.

    If Gay men developed self esteem and confidence to participate in the gay and wider community and that opportunities to develop friendship and support networks were more prevalent, the high risk involved with rampent hyper-sexuality would be far less prevalent. This is because men need an outlet to challenge and to at least some of the time successed in their endevours, many of these behaviours such as hyper sexuality, substance missuse and other risk taking outlets generally available to heterosexual men, which in a sizeable minority would start to diminish.

    A healthy sex life and being sex positive does not mean being a slut, that is unhealthy and is not what being sex positive is about. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Sex+Positive
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 14, 2015 3:15 PM GMT
    We won't have equality until the sexes are exploited equally.icon_mad.gif
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    Dec 14, 2015 3:31 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    MrFuscle said
    HottJoe said
    theantijock saidNEWS FLASH: there's nothing wrong with enjoying sex.

    Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1889!


    Does that make cocaine legal then?

    Don't forget the opium and the absinthe.


    Cause absinthe makes the heart grow fonder?

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    Dec 14, 2015 4:35 PM GMT
    Most of my friends joke about sex a lot more than they have it. These guys are pretty healthy too.

    The guys I know who are always looking to hook up are kinda miserable. They aren't hot and no matter what they believe about themselves, Reality finds a way to slap them hard.

  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Dec 14, 2015 6:50 PM GMT
    I like having the highly sexualized environment around me when I want it, but it's not where or how I live. Met some guys at a party in New Orleans who seemed like great guys. The party is totally sexualized though the actual comportment of the guys is pretty tame. Later saw them in a group of guys at the beach and after about 20 minutes of sophomoric sex references, I was ready to go back to my book and beer. I guess it is all a matter of balance in your own life. Everyone is a bit different but in general, I find sexy guys sexy and love that aspect of gay life. Just like straight guys get into big glandular things flopping around. Cowboy cheerleaders?
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    Dec 14, 2015 7:04 PM GMT
    It used to bother me a great deal, but now that everything has shifted to online I find it very easy to filter out those type by making my wishes clear in my profile.