Backhand Compliment on a Date?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2015 12:44 AM GMT
    I went out on a first date with someone who said I looked like a darker version of Jim Parsons (the actor from the Big Bang Theory).... I asked if that was a good or bad thing. They answered it was an interesting thing.

    Maybe he didn't mean it as such but I'm not a fan of backhand compliments considering looking like him is not really a good thing in my mind.

    Almost wanted to give one of my own but I refrained. First time this has happened; have you ever gotten backhand compliment on a date?
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Jul 20, 2015 1:22 AM GMT
    It sounds like it was intended as a compliment. I wouldn't look for a reason to be offended.
  • PRDGUY

    Posts: 641

    Jul 20, 2015 1:25 AM GMT
    We usually retain in our memory people that make an impact. Consider it a compliment and try not to overthink the situation.
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    Jul 20, 2015 1:27 AM GMT
    Erobert saidI went out on a first date with someone who said I looked like a darker version of Jim Parsons (the actor from the Big Bang Theory).... I asked if that was a good or bad thing. They answered it was an interesting thing.

    Maybe he didn't mean it as such but I'm not a fan of backhand compliments considering looking like him is not really a good thing in my mind.

    Almost wanted to give one of my own but I refrained. First time this has happened; have you ever gotten backhand compliment on a date?


    He's 6'1" and 159 lbs. You profile says are 6'5" and 160 lbs.

    I've had several comparisons over the years, some flattering, one I think was intended to be an insult. (Fuck em!)
  • Beeftastic

    Posts: 1747

    Jul 21, 2015 8:01 AM GMT
    Take it as a compliment and move forward.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2015 11:10 PM GMT
    the thing about a backhand compliment is likely they are honest.
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    Jul 22, 2015 2:12 AM GMT
    timmm55 said
    Erobert saidI went out on a first date with someone who said I looked like a darker version of Jim Parsons (the actor from the Big Bang Theory).... I asked if that was a good or bad thing. They answered it was an interesting thing.

    Maybe he didn't mean it as such but I'm not a fan of backhand compliments considering looking like him is not really a good thing in my mind.

    Almost wanted to give one of my own but I refrained. First time this has happened; have you ever gotten backhand compliment on a date?


    He's 6'1" and 159 lbs. You profile says are 6'5" and 160 lbs.

    I've had several comparisons over the years, some flattering, one I think was intended to be an insult. (Fuck em!)


    That is true, but I think he meant facially? IDK. It could be a good since he's 42 but look at least 10 years younger than his actual age. I get people thinking I'm in college when I tell them I'm almost 30. That's something something I can live with.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11819

    Jul 22, 2015 2:45 AM GMT
    I feel individuals with low self-esteem pick through comments, and discussions, to find something to hate. This tactic assures you a Saturday date alone at home.Think positive thoughts, and accept such comments as a compliment because 95% of the time,they are.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2015 5:30 PM GMT
    Erobert, lighten up. Nobody intends to give a backhanded compliment to a date. He wouldn't have said so if he didn't intend it to be complimentary. A lot of people think Parsons is a very attractive guy - and he's a famous actor.

    Almost wanted to give one of my own but I refrained.


    If you're attracted, compliment him - maybe even if not. There is always something you can say you like - his hairstyle, his great face, his body, his shirt, beautiful eyes, smile, etc. If this is not natural for you, practice in the mirror for an imaginary date. Pretend you're an actor learning lines.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2015 5:52 PM GMT
    Erobert said
    timmm55 said
    Erobert saidI went out on a first date with someone who said I looked like a darker version of Jim Parsons (the actor from the Big Bang Theory).... I asked if that was a good or bad thing. They answered it was an interesting thing.

    Maybe he didn't mean it as such but I'm not a fan of backhand compliments considering looking like him is not really a good thing in my mind.

    Almost wanted to give one of my own but I refrained. First time this has happened; have you ever gotten backhand compliment on a date?


    He's 6'1" and 159 lbs. You profile says are 6'5" and 160 lbs.

    I've had several comparisons over the years, some flattering, one I think was intended to be an insult. (Fuck em!)


    That is true, but I think he meant facially? IDK. It could be a good thing since he's 42 but look at least 10 years younger than his actual age. I get people thinking I'm in college when I tell them I'm almost 30. That's something something I can live with.
  • PRDGUY

    Posts: 641

    Jul 22, 2015 6:53 PM GMT
    Dude, you know you're a hottie so don't let whatever he said be a buzzkill. If you enjoy spending time with him relax and enjoy the ride.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 24, 2015 4:02 AM GMT
    / A hottie? lol I wouldn't go that far but thank you for the compliment. Thanks for the input all! Will have to go with the flow and not overthink things.
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    Jul 26, 2015 12:33 PM GMT
    mybud saidI feel individuals with low self-esteem pick through comments, and discussions, to find something to hate. This tactic assures you a Saturday date alone at home.Think positive thoughts, and accept such comments as a compliment because 95% of the time,they are.


    So true.

    If you limit your dating pool only to those who have a perfect mastery of expression, making nothing but nuanced, insightful, and well-aimed compliments, you'll be single forever.

    Just give him a B+ for effort.