Inexperienced and nervous about meeting guys; what should I do?


  • Jul 21, 2015 1:50 AM GMT
    Hi.

    I made a post a little while back about needing ways to meet new people after a recent move. But I feel like my problem runs a little deeper than a lack of access.

    I've never really been with a guy in an intimate circumstances. I mean, I've had sex, but I was so drunk I might as well not have. Partly this is due to there not being many gay kids at my high school and me being a little shy but net result; I'm inexperienced and uncomfortable and overall nervous about trying to meet and interact with other guys.

    Idk, any advice?
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    Jul 21, 2015 2:44 AM GMT
    theproductofboredom said... I'm inexperienced and uncomfortable and overall nervous about trying to meet and interact with other guys.

    Idk, any advice?
    Yeah, just take the plunge and meet someone with a common interest. It doesn't have to be a sexual partner. In fact it's probably better if it's not a sexual partner. That way you can get used to meeting people in a platonic setting, which will help you when you're ready to meet a potential intimate partner.
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    Jul 21, 2015 3:10 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidYeah, just take the plunge and meet someone with a common interest. It doesn't have to be a sexual partner. In fact it's probably better if it's not a sexual partner. That way you can get used to meeting people in a platonic setting, which will help you when you're ready to meet a potential intimate partner.


    +100
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    Jul 21, 2015 1:42 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    theproductofboredom said... I'm inexperienced and uncomfortable and overall nervous about trying to meet and interact with other guys.

    Idk, any advice?
    Yeah, just take the plunge and meet someone with a common interest. It doesn't have to be a sexual partner. In fact it's probably better if it's not a sexual partner. That way you can get used to meeting people in a platonic setting, which will help you when you're ready to meet a potential intimate partner.


    This seems about right.

    Try to build yourself up a small network of other gay friends, so you can chat with them if you need to and get slowly more involved with the whole relationship side of things.

    Slow and steady.
  • Destinharbor

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    Jul 21, 2015 3:06 PM GMT
    I take the opposite view. Meet some guy for sex. Stay safe, of course, but just swallow your nerves and do it. Preferably with someone who's profile you like and have exchanged a couple of nice messages. A decent guy. You'll discover that the nerves you feel are actually kind of a pleasant thing and that you can handle and enjoy sex. As every man should. After that, you'll find meeting guys not just easier but fun.

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    Jul 22, 2015 5:40 PM GMT
    Both Paulflexes and Destinharbor are right - do both. Meet a hot guy on Grindr or whatever for hot sex - just somebody nice. Have a great experience and feel what it's all about. Also, follow Paul's advice about just meeting some nice guys, with no sex on the agenda.