So I went to a nightclub for the first time... :[


  • Jul 25, 2015 6:06 AM GMT
    ...okay it might have been a mistake to go alone.

    And it might have also been a mistake to put myself in the position where I'd be sober. Because I could only imagine this being fun if I was stonking drunk or with friends.

    It was loud, hot, sweaty, loud, handsy, and most of LOUD!

    Like if I'm not drunk enough to dance like an idiot and talk to random strangers then I need a friend to talk to, or else I just spend the night checking my phone and judging the people around me.

    Ugh ;-;
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jul 25, 2015 6:12 AM GMT
    it can be difficult going alone ... and staying sober. It is definitely more fun going with a friend. So did you drink anything at all ... like soda and lime or anything to blend in with the crowd. Do they have a pool table or darts or anything like that, that you could take part in? ... another option would be to get a job there ... that way you stay sober and get to meet and know ever body icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 25, 2015 1:53 PM GMT
    Don't go to a loud dance club with the intent to meet anyone. Go to a club with an atmosphere conducive to conversation and activities likes darts, pool, etc.
  • Amira

    Posts: 327

    Jul 25, 2015 2:20 PM GMT
    Sounds like the manor.. definitely not fun when no room to dance and just sweat.icon_confused.gif
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    Jul 25, 2015 2:46 PM GMT
    theproductofboredom said...okay it might have been a mistake to go alone.

    And it might have also been a mistake to put myself in the position where I'd be sober. Because I could only imagine this being fun if I was stonking drunk or with friends.

    It was loud, hot, sweaty, loud, handsy, and most of LOUD!

    Like if I'm not drunk enough to dance like an idiot and talk to random strangers then I need a friend to talk to, or else I just spend the night checking my phone and judging the people around me.

    Ugh ;-;

    Going with a "wingman" can be a good approach. It's how I got started with gay bars 20 years ago. Later I could "solo" when I knew the scene better, and what I wanted, to make it work best for me.

    Without a wingman, especially in a new community I don't know, I start by going during the daytime if it's open, when things are quiet, to check out the place better. The 2 of us usually prefer the day anyway, when it's neither noisy nor crowded. Of course it's typically an older retired crowd at that hour, the working-age guys aren't there yet. But that's suits us, our own demographic.

    For you it may be a way of getting started & acclimated. As for drunk or sober, you never wanna be literally drunk in a club. You make bad decisions, and make a bad impression. And of course you still have to drive home. You have just a little bit if it helps break down inhibitions.
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    Jul 25, 2015 5:28 PM GMT
    You shouldn't go sober
  • 1AlanZSky

    Posts: 1505

    Jul 25, 2015 5:33 PM GMT
    ohioguy12 saidYou shouldn't go sober


    Do you think it is better to have your judgement impaired when you are nervous and on your first time visit?
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    Jul 25, 2015 6:23 PM GMT
    Any new social experience can be daunting and disorienting for the first time. Always better to go with a friend - preferably one that knows the venue.

    MOST CLUBS AND BARS ARE VERY LOUD!!!!!!

    I nearly always bring ear-plugs - or when i forget them, I take pieces of a napkin, wet them a little, roll them up into a ball and put them in my ears. Not the best - but FAR better than no protection at all(!)

    Everyone should protect their hearing - and - speaking as a musician, doubly so.

    Drinking does not make the scene "better" - just different, but can make one less inhibbited/nervous. Just go with friends - you'll have a MUCH better time I'm sure.

    Frankly - I hate nearly all gay clubs because I'm very rarely into the music. I like DEEP DARK HOUSE AND TECHNO. Very few American gay bars and clubs serve that.

    Go to clubs that play MUSIC YOU LIKE - you'll find other gay people there into the same vibe - my .02 cents.

  • Jul 25, 2015 9:29 PM GMT
    I used to go alone to dance clubs all the time back in the day. I never drank and had a great time 99% of the time. For me it is all about the music and environment. I found it very energizing. Thing is, like another poster mentioned, i love deep house and techno and that can be harder to find. Still, i would meet people, dance and dance by myself if the music took me too that level. Once you meet someone they will introduce you to other people and soon you may realize that you can go to these places alone and always run into someone you know. What i cant do is go to regular bars that do not have a dance floor or good music. Since i dont drink i just get extremely bored watching people drink. I prefer the stimulus that good dance music gives me and i never needed to drink to dance.
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    Jul 26, 2015 10:14 AM GMT
    Stop staring at your goddamn phone. Check the time, check for a message, fine. Otherwise leave it in your pocket.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3515

    Jul 27, 2015 12:04 AM GMT
    more people should wear earplugs in a lot of places. bars, lawnmowing, etc. I have to wear them at work, so i am used to them, and I really hate loud noise. My hearing is still pretty good after being good about keeping up about it. Better a bit dorky then deaf.