VIOLENCE IN THE GAY GROUPS

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 25, 2015 6:13 AM GMT


    Very sad here. Drunken gay guy beats his bf! Why is there such violence?
    http://www.queerty.com/texas-man-beats-his-teen-boyfriend-to-death-strangles-his-dog-20150720
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    Jul 25, 2015 6:17 AM GMT
    Domestic violence is not limited to hetero couples.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jul 25, 2015 6:19 AM GMT
    FutureBanana said

    Very sad here. Drunken gay guy beats his bf! Why is there such violence?
    http://www.queerty.com/texas-man-beats-his-teen-boyfriend-to-death-strangles-his-dog-20150720


    The key word here being 'Drunken'. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jul 25, 2015 6:24 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidDomestic violence is not limited to hetero couples.


    Yes.

    AMoonHawk said
    FutureBanana said

    Very sad here. Drunken gay guy beats his bf! Why is there such violence?
    http://www.queerty.com/texas-man-beats-his-teen-boyfriend-to-death-strangles-his-dog-20150720


    The key word here being 'Drunken'. icon_rolleyes.gif


    Thats no excuse.
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    Jul 25, 2015 6:32 AM GMT
    Creatinglube said
    AMoonHawk said
    FutureBanana said

    Very sad here. Drunken gay guy beats his bf! Why is there such violence?
    http://www.queerty.com/texas-man-beats-his-teen-boyfriend-to-death-strangles-his-dog-20150720


    The key word here being 'Drunken'. icon_rolleyes.gif


    Thats no excuse.
    +1
    I've gotten drunk many times and never had a physically violent tendency toward anyone unless it was self defense.
  • Paperless_Pen

    Posts: 573

    Jul 25, 2015 6:42 AM GMT
    Yes. Jealousy + anger + drunkenness is bad.
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    Jul 25, 2015 7:21 AM GMT
    This is horrible.

    I'm not sure I want to put this out here but here it goes. I know what it's like be in a abusive relationship. My ex of 6 years was extremely abusive. He would regularly attack me unprovoked. He threaten to kill me or himself if I ever left him. He even pulled a gun on me at one point. I had him arrested at that point, but didn't press charges. It's difficult to say how you will react in situations like these.

    Even in times where I would be physically attacked by my ex I would still be too scared to leave the house or would leave but also end up returning like the guy in the story did. Hindsight is always 20/20 and if I knew now what I knew then, I would have left much earlier. But the mind of both the abuser and victim aren't thinking clearly. I never in a million years thought that I would be a domestic violence "survivor" but here I am.

    It's something that has taken me years to accept and forgive myself for.

    Anyways, my heart aches for that young man. I know the horror he must have felt. I hope he is at peace.
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    Jul 25, 2015 7:24 AM GMT
    My friend who was an assistant DA once told me gay domestic violence was the most violent and often ended in one's death, more so than hetero.
  • Marko89

    Posts: 239

    Jul 25, 2015 10:04 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    Creatinglube said
    AMoonHawk said
    FutureBanana said

    Very sad here. Drunken gay guy beats his bf! Why is there such violence?
    http://www.queerty.com/texas-man-beats-his-teen-boyfriend-to-death-strangles-his-dog-20150720


    The key word here being 'Drunken'. icon_rolleyes.gif


    Thats no excuse.
    +1
    I've gotten drunk many times and never had a physically violent tendency toward anyone unless it was self defense.


    +2
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    Jul 25, 2015 11:27 AM GMT
    Not yet has anyone mentioned that the bf's dog was killed by the perpetrator also. icon_cry.gif
    That signals someone who has it in them to maybe not kill again, but to be an abusive and threatening individual regardless. Who knows what he may have done to other people - and animals - before this happened?

    AND...talk about click bait...the homicidal "boyfriend" was all of 20 years old himself. If you opened the article thinking some chicken hawk was the perp (going by "Teen Boyfriend" in the headline), you weren't alone. icon_redface.gif
  • Danskerb

    Posts: 286

    Jul 25, 2015 12:05 PM GMT
    I've hit my partner in the face once. Not proud of it, but he is also about a foot taller than me and was physically keeping me in a room that I desperately wanted to leave. And I was pissed hammered drunk. Which doesn't ever help.

    Violence should never be an answer... but maybe mentally or socially it is easier between men then men and woman... I don't know....

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    Jul 25, 2015 12:39 PM GMT
    Anger + alcohol + testosterone is a bad mix. What's really sad is that he was taken to the hospital, which could've saved him, but they left because the wait was so long (at least that is what the news was reporting here a few days ago).
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    Jul 25, 2015 12:45 PM GMT
    Danskerb saidI've hit my partner in the face once. Not proud of it, but he is also about a foot taller than me and was physically keeping me in a room that I desperately wanted to leave. And I was pissed hammered drunk. Which doesn't ever help.

    Violence should never be an answer... but maybe mentally or socially it is easier between men then men and woman... I don't know....



    Not both of you drunk, just yourself?
  • FuerteC

    Posts: 588

    Jul 25, 2015 12:48 PM GMT
    Chulo saidThis is horrible.

    I'm not sure I want to put this out here but here it goes. I know what it's like be in a abusive relationship. My ex of 6 years was extremely abusive. He would regularly attack me unprovoked. He threaten to kill me or himself if I ever left him. He even pulled a gun on me at one point. I had him arrested at that point, but didn't press charges. It's difficult to say how you will react in situations like these.

    Even in times where I would be physically attacked by my ex I would still be too scared to leave the house or would leave but also end up returning like the guy in the story did. Hindsight is always 20/20 and if I knew now what I knew then, I would have left much earlier. But the mind of both the abuser and victim aren't thinking clearly. I never in a million years thought that I would be a domestic violence "survivor" but here I am.

    It's something that has taken me years to accept and forgive myself for.

    Anyways, my heart aches for that young man. I know the horror he must have felt. I hope he is at peace.


    A gun?
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    Jul 25, 2015 1:11 PM GMT
    That's unfortunate, but was it domestic violence or was it a crime of passion?
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14372

    Jul 25, 2015 1:30 PM GMT
    It is time to face the harsh fact that alcohol is a lethal poison that can alter a person's moods in a dangerously unpredictable fashion. It is the both the fuel and the spark that ignites the violent behavior in a person. A drunken person is best avoided because their judgment and impulses have been impaired by booze.

    This is just more valid proof that you don't need alcohol to have a good time when out on the town.

    This is why I permanently kicked alcohol out of my life on January 1, 2000. I regret not doing that a lot sooner in my life.
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    Jul 25, 2015 1:49 PM GMT
    Danskerb saidI've hit my partner in the face once. Not proud of it, but he is also about a foot taller than me and was physically keeping me in a room that I desperately wanted to leave. And I was pissed hammered drunk. Which doesn't ever help.

    Violence should never be an answer... but maybe mentally or socially it is easier between men then men and woman... I don't know....



    IDEALLY violence should never be the answer but we don't live in a perfect world. Sometimes it's a last resort.

    And while being drunk doesn't excuse it does explain the extenuating circumstances.
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    Jul 25, 2015 2:22 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    Danskerb saidI've hit my partner in the face once. Not proud of it, but he is also about a foot taller than me and was physically keeping me in a room that I desperately wanted to leave. And I was pissed hammered drunk. Which doesn't ever help.

    Violence should never be an answer... but maybe mentally or socially it is easier between men then men and woman... I don't know....


    IDEALLY violence should never be the answer but we don't live in a perfect world. Sometimes it's a last resort.

    And while being drunk doesn't excuse it does explain the extenuating circumstances.

    Just my own speculation, but I could also imagine there's gay domestic violence because you have 2 males living together. And men get into fights.

    Whereas with a man and a woman, the woman will more readily give in to the man, and keep it quiet. The abused wife syndrome. Until one day she shoots him, of course.

    I'm an opponent of all domestic violence, among all combinations of gender. But the question I'm addressing is one of visibility & perception, not of right or wrong. I think it's always wrong. If I live with someone, and I say I love him (or her) then violence is off the table, never an option.
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    Jul 25, 2015 4:04 PM GMT
    I wasn't thinking in terms of domestic violence when I said violence is sometimes a last resort. Also, I try not to speak in terms of absolutes: always, never, etc.

    I can see where violence (physical or otherwise) is not appropriate; however, I can see where someone may have to defend themselves. Yes, even defend themselves against someone that claims to love them.
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    Jul 25, 2015 4:59 PM GMT
    I read the comments "Who served these guys alcohol? I thought you had to be 21? Or, is that different in the south?"
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    Jul 25, 2015 6:12 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidMy friend who was an assistant DA once told me gay domestic violence was the most violent and often ended in one's death, more so than hetero.


    I find that hard to believe. I'm 59, lived in Mpls., LA, SD and I'm not aware personally of a single similar scenario....resulting in death.

    http://www.americanbar.org/groups/domestic_violence/resources/statistics.html


    Last year, the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention released figures showing people in same-sex relationships experience levels of domestic violence just as often as those in heterosexual relationships.

    But the conclusions of another study this year by the Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago - a review of data from four earlier studies, involving 30,000 participants - go further.

    http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-29994648

    Actually I'm surprised it isn't less. I seldom see fighting in gay bars.
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    Jul 25, 2015 6:19 PM GMT
    Turin saidI read the comments "Who served these guys alcohol? I thought you had to be 21? Or, is that different in the south?"

    Very
  • DJEsco_

    Posts: 80

    Jul 25, 2015 6:48 PM GMT
    roadbikeRob saidIt is time to face the harsh fact that alcohol is a lethal poison that can alter a person's moods in a dangerously unpredictable fashion. It is the both the fuel and the spark that ignites the violent behavior in a person. A drunken person is best avoided because their judgment and impulses have been impaired by booze.

    This is just more valid proof that you don't need alcohol to have a good time when out on the town.

    This is why I permanently kicked alcohol out of my life on January 1, 2000. I regret not doing that a lot sooner in my life.


    same here. in 2015 ive minimized my alcohol consumption. Its to tbe point where I drank two coronas the other night and woke up dehydrated as hell and with a minor headache. i used to be able to down 6 beers with no sideeffects. not like that is an accomplishment but it shows how the body reacts to toxins when you avoid them. ive been treatinv my body like a temple. plenty of exercise, eating right and getting a good amount of rest. I do think about all the fun I had with friends getting drunk but I am at the next step in life now icon_smile.gif
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    Jul 25, 2015 6:57 PM GMT
    Turin saidI read the comments "Who served these guys alcohol? I thought you had to be 21? Or, is that different in the south?"


    As if NO ONE in the north has ever obtained a fake ID and used it to buy alcohol. Or no Yankee has ever served alcohol to someone who was underage. icon_rolleyes.gif
  • FRE0

    Posts: 4865

    Jul 25, 2015 7:26 PM GMT
    Creatinglube said
    paulflexes saidDomestic violence is not limited to hetero couples.


    Yes.

    AMoonHawk said
    FutureBanana said

    Very sad here. Drunken gay guy beats his bf! Why is there such violence?
    http://www.queerty.com/texas-man-beats-his-teen-boyfriend-to-death-strangles-his-dog-20150720


    The key word here being 'Drunken'. icon_rolleyes.gif


    Thats no excuse.


    Right.

    Drinkers who have reached adulthood should know how they respond to ethanol and adjust their drinking accordingly. I.e., if they know from experience that ethanol causes them to behave violently, then if they are responsible, they will stop drinking. It's that simple. Being drunk is not an excuse for anything.