It's funny you're saying this - I recently read an excerpt in Max - um .... Men's Health that included an excerpt from a real straight men giving his two cents on Gay Life.
Dear, gay men, please come clean. All you do is hang out with girls. You call them fag hags, but please, I know its probably a front to get them to let down their defenses. You see them in various stages of undress and have them over all night to watch Sex in he City, yeah right. You gay guys see more twat than a gynecologist and then you wanna say hey I dress up like women and think that absolves you. The best hair bands from the 80's did the same thing and got more Snatch than Bieber's straight body guards.
You gay guys probably just snap your fingers, roll your heads like black women, and the whole nine just to repulse other men away. That leaves you with all the women. Very slick, gay guys, very slick.
Then you're good cooks. Its true, as I can attest, the best way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Well, females like to eat too. What a sly move turning the tables to actually treat another how you like it, such as the way she dawns a jersey and goes to games with straight guys but they can't go shopping with her.
Gay guys, you want punani so bad you actually pretend to hate sports and go shopping with her - help her pick out outfits that make her look and feel like a sexy woman - so you can capitalize later right?
Then you tell her looks don't matter, but in the meantime, you're working out in the gym six times a week and hiding your exquisitely etched physiques under mesh and sparkly fabric to throw everyone off.
And when you're bored, you get out your power tools, fix old houses, and your cars are more souped up than Transformers.
Sure, but you have sex with men, yet every "gay" man I know says they don't even get any from men.
Give it up gay men, you're the ultimate studs: buff, sensitive, considerate, attractive, not to mention crafty. You're stealing all of the vulnerable ones with issues who put out away from the rest of us.
Bro, not cool.