Have you ever gotten so fed up with the gay life that you've thought about ending your life?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 03, 2015 9:18 AM GMT
    "I don't want to die tonight, but I think I might going down" -BabyFace

    Disclaimer: By no means am I suggesting anyone remotely consider or even think for a moment about it. But when I say "life", I don't mean simply physical. But just ending your whole association with anything gay to where you just became a mere gender and nothing more?

    I'm not one for giving up, but damn...a man can only take so many disappointments. Theres a lot of BS out there, and just today I had to listen to 2 sob stories from 2 different friends about people Who played them. Meanwhile, I've been grappling with my own relationship issues with someone I've been seeing. He turned out to be a Meth addict, and everything he's said to me I believe has been a bunch of bullshit. Not to count the 100s of other disappointments over the last 10 years. But in between, I've had a great number of memorable, awesome experiences....but it was all temporary.

    I understand too some of us tend to create these disappointments, or go for people who aren't right. And I also don't think anyone is WORTH killing yourself over. But I'm in a place right now where I'm just not seeing the value of the gay lifestyle. The meaningless conversations, going out, superficial, hyper-sexual bullshit and fake relationships...it just repulses me. I get sick of my friends talking about it, and I get sick of guys I meet thinking about it.

    Before I do anything crazy though, the best I can do is try to move someplace like Washington, DC, NYC, or San Fran or Europe or Australia...places that have a real gay scene, and maybe have a lil respect for each other. I feel like these "local" gay scenes are flooded with guys who grew up around intolerance, but now they've become open....they use that same mentality to use and abuse other gay men. Like we're some kind of fucking pawn.
  • transient

    Posts: 211

    Aug 03, 2015 9:55 AM GMT
    I'm sorry you have been messed around.

    I dont think its a 'gay' thing.

    Its a MODERN thing.

    People of all genders, nationality, sexuality are becoming more selfish and intollerant.

    The modern culture is based on money, fashion and fame.

    People are willing to sell their soul, and sell you out in the process.

    Be strong, live your life with better direction and it will work out in the end.
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14380

    Aug 03, 2015 12:03 PM GMT
    Exactly, the gay and lesbian community is definitely not alone with the problems associated with flakes, psychos, hypocrites, and artificial personalities. Straights are even worse.

    The thing that has me thoroughly disgusted with life is the socioeconomic inequality with the wealthiest of the wealthy getting much richer while 98% of the total population is getting poorer and more destitute thanks to the horribly failed supply side, trickle down economics combined with these horrific free trade agreements. Upward mobility is now only a pipe dream in today's economy thanks to these money hungry, bloated bastards.
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    Aug 03, 2015 1:39 PM GMT
    transient saidI'm sorry you have been messed around.
    I dont think its a 'gay' thing.
    Its a MODERN thing.
    People of all genders, nationality, sexuality are becoming more selfish and intollerant.
    The modern culture is based on money, fashion and fame.
    People are willing to sell their soul, and sell you out in the process.
    Be strong, live your life with better direction and it will work out in the end.

    This, except the part about fashion and bitchy queens.
    If you keep finding losers and idiots, stop looking for losers and idiots.
    This is not MODERN life, it is the places/websites you choose to find new people. Find better people by looking at places where smart, successful people hang out. Or, you could continue to whine about the dumb choices you make, that's what the internet was invented for.
  • Noeton

    Posts: 208

    Aug 04, 2015 2:06 AM GMT
    transient saidI'm sorry you have been messed around.

    I dont think its a 'gay' thing.

    Its a MODERN thing.

    People of all genders, nationality, sexuality are becoming more selfish and intollerant.

    The modern culture is based on money, fashion and fame.

    People are willing to sell their soul, and sell you out in the process.

    Be strong, live your life with better direction and it will work out in the end.


    I definitely agree!
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    Aug 04, 2015 2:26 AM GMT
    FuzzyPecs27 saidHave you ever gotten so fed up with the gay life that you've thought about ending your life?
    I don't have to be fed up with anything to "think about" ending my life. I think about it every day, in a constructive context. That way when things do start to go sour in my life for whatever reason (and they do sometimes - it's just part of life) then I have the tools necessary to keep suicide as an afterthought and focus on how to make things better again.
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    Aug 04, 2015 3:19 AM GMT
    Fuzzypecs you are just a miserable man all around.

    99.5% of your threads are negative. Perhaps the problem is you. Not that you're gay, or black, or whatever. You are just miserable.


    Grow up.
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    Aug 04, 2015 3:35 AM GMT
    Chulo saidFuzzypecs you are just a miserable man all around.

    99.5% of your threads are negative. Perhaps the problem is you. Not that you're gay, or black, or whatever. You are just miserable.

    Grow up.

    Have you ever considered turning your natural counseling skills into a career opportunity? You could become the Dr. Jack Kevorkian of social psychology.
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    Aug 04, 2015 6:29 AM GMT
    FuzzyPecs27 said"I don't want to die tonight, but I think I might going down" -BabyFace

    Disclaimer: By no means am I suggesting anyone remotely consider or even think for a moment about it. But when I say "life", I don't mean simply physical. But just ending your whole association with anything gay to where you just became a mere gender and nothing more?

    I'm not one for giving up, but damn...a man can only take so many disappointments. Theres a lot of BS out there, and just today I had to listen to 2 sob stories from 2 different friends about people Who played them. Meanwhile, I've been grappling with my own relationship issues with someone I've been seeing. He turned out to be a Meth addict, and everything he's said to me I believe has been a bunch of bullshit. Not to count the 100s of other disappointments over the last 10 years. But in between, I've had a great number of memorable, awesome experiences....but it was all temporary.

    I understand too some of us tend to create these disappointments, or go for people who aren't right. And I also don't think anyone is WORTH killing yourself over. But I'm in a place right now where I'm just not seeing the value of the gay lifestyle. The meaningless conversations, going out, superficial, hyper-sexual bullshit and fake relationships...it just repulses me. I get sick of my friends talking about it, and I get sick of guys I meet thinking about it.

    Before I do anything crazy though, the best I can do is try to move someplace like Washington, DC, NYC, or San Fran or Europe or Australia...places that have a real gay scene, and maybe have a lil respect for each other. I feel like these "local" gay scenes are flooded with guys who grew up around intolerance, but now they've become open....they use that same mentality to use and abuse other gay men. Like we're some kind of fucking pawn.

    Babyface is gay?
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    Aug 04, 2015 7:48 AM GMT
    xrichx saidBabyface is gay?


    I was quoting lyrics to a song
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    Aug 04, 2015 8:02 AM GMT
    smartmoney said
    If you keep finding losers and idiots, stop looking for losers and idiots.
    This is not MODERN life, it is the places/websites you choose to find new people. Find better people by looking at places where smart, successful people hang out. Or, you could continue to whine about the dumb choices you make, that's what the internet was invented for.


    I understand and agree. I admit I've hung out in some seedy places and met some losers. But, I know friends who are into political parties, they work at fancy restaurants, do all kinds of other activities etc, but their stories aren't much different.

    Now, I will say...some guys (including me at one point) do have to look at themselves in the mirror. I hear sob stories, but they haven't had their teeth cleaned in 10 years. Or they are pushing 30, and don't have a car and live with 3 people. And they wonder why people don't take them seriously. I on the other hand, spent $1,800 on dental in the last 5 years, have the car, own place, etc. once I got to where I wanted, things got better initially...but it seems like it's either not good enough, or more so...I did all that fucking work, just to meet a bunch of misfits. I can't even find someone who's on my level of finances, independence, and cleanliness....or style. Only thing lacking in my life is the fact that I don't have the degree(s) I should have by now...but I'm still a student even though some bitches think I am a lazy dropout (you can't sign up for Amazon Prime Student Free for 6 months without a student .edu email address)

    Again, not condoning suicide. Spiritually and factually, I don't believe in it. But at the same time, sometimes I feel like the gay life is just depressing. That's why so many gay men are drug addicts. That's another thing I'm fuckin sick of. Even when you do meet the right man, 99.9% of the time they use/abuse meth, coke, or prescription drugs.

    Ok..,that's a wild figure, but dammit it seems like it's accurate. The ones who don't use drugs, have given up on the gay scene, they just become a hermit and stay holed up at home not meeting anyone or making themselves known or available to anyone except online. Depressing huh?

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    Aug 04, 2015 6:07 PM GMT
    What you're saying is accurate to a degree ... there are more mainstream and stable gay men but they are more difficult to find and they participate in the gay "scene." I'm not sure they even bother with pride events anymore. So just dump the scene and connect with a variety of men and women in settings that don't revolve around sexuality.
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    Aug 04, 2015 6:23 PM GMT
    Lol this sound like several guys I went on a date with. Some said:

    *Oh, I'm so over the gay scene, not for me.

    * I hate gay people and can't stand them. (yet you're a homo??

    *I'm post gay, I'm special !!

    and other variations of that, so after a while I just decided that this is a requirement to be a homo, to self-hating the gay community?? lol
  • transient

    Posts: 211

    Aug 05, 2015 12:01 PM GMT
    FuzzyPecs27 said
    smartmoney said
    If you keep finding losers and idiots, stop looking for losers and idiots.
    This is not MODERN life, it is the places/websites you choose to find new people. Find better people by looking at places where smart, successful people hang out. Or, you could continue to whine about the dumb choices you make, that's what the internet was invented for.


    I understand and agree. I admit I've hung out in some seedy places and met some losers. But, I know friends who are into political parties, they work at fancy restaurants, do all kinds of other activities etc, but their stories aren't much different.

    Now, I will say...some guys (including me at one point) do have to look at themselves in the mirror. I hear sob stories, but they haven't had their teeth cleaned in 10 years. Or they are pushing 30, and don't have a car and live with 3 people. And they wonder why people don't take them seriously. I on the other hand, spent $1,800 on dental in the last 5 years, have the car, own place, etc. once I got to where I wanted, things got better initially...but it seems like it's either not good enough, or more so...I did all that fucking work, just to meet a bunch of misfits. I can't even find someone who's on my level of finances, independence, and cleanliness....or style. Only thing lacking in my life is the fact that I don't have the degree(s) I should have by now...but I'm still a student even though some bitches think I am a lazy dropout (you can't sign up for Amazon Prime Student Free for 6 months without a student .edu email address)

    Again, not condoning suicide. Spiritually and factually, I don't believe in it. But at the same time, sometimes I feel like the gay life is just depressing. That's why so many gay men are drug addicts. That's another thing I'm fuckin sick of. Even when you do meet the right man, 99.9% of the time they use/abuse meth, coke, or prescription drugs.

    Ok..,that's a wild figure, but dammit it seems like it's accurate. The ones who don't use drugs, have given up on the gay scene, they just become a hermit and stay holed up at home not meeting anyone or making themselves known or available to anyone except online. Depressing huh?




    You rely dont seem very happy with yourself........ when we feel like this, we tend to project these things onto the people we meet.

    Its like life is a mirror, reflecting your thoughts back on yourself.

    Another way of looking at the same concept, is The Law of Attraction........ you get back what you put out.

    From the part I bolded at the top, this is what you project onto the world.

    What do you expect back something diffrent from what you give out.

    YOU need to make the change you want to see in everyone else.

    Please take this with the sincerity its been given and take some time to consider my post before you jump me.
    x
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    Aug 08, 2015 10:17 AM GMT
    LAXWill10 saidLol this sound like several guys I went on a date with. Some said:

    *Oh, I'm so over the gay scene, not for me.

    * I hate gay people and can't stand them. (yet you're a homo??

    *I'm post gay, I'm special !!

    and other variations of that, so after a while I just decided that this is a requirement to be a homo, to self-hating the gay community?? lol


    I'll clarify...I do not hate gay people. I also believe any gay person who MEETS ANOTHER GAY PERSON IS IN THE SCENE. Period. Whether the scene is adam4adam or the Gay bar. If a person is not into the gay scene, they better be dating women, married, or have kids. Then I'll buy the bullshit. I can't stand it when gay guys bash the gay culture, scene, or way of life. Honestly, I like the gay life for what it is. I don't wish to be straight either I wouldn't really consider calling it quits either because what a sad day it'd be to leave this life and not have traveled the world. Who knows what's out there in Spain, Armenia, Russia, Brazil, etc. so I ain't giving up on shit...shiiiiiiit

    However, I do want some fucking success at some point. I do think the bullshit and the games and living life like a 20 year old at 40 needs to fucking stop in the gay community. There's too many mother fucking immature, emotionally stunted, habitually bullshit mother fuckers in the gay community. It's like some men never grow the fuck up, and I'm fucking sick of this shit. It bothers me because I feel I'm too advanced, yet at 27...people still feel "I'm young and have my whole life ahead of me". I'm so fucking sick of people saying that shit. People actually do settle down at this age.

    Again, I admit I've met many of these guys in bars or online..,but in the times I've tried to meet men in normal situations, they've turned out to be straight. In addition, many gay guys in normal situations just don't talk to each other. The whole gay world is wrapped in hookup apps, so we've gotten complacent.

    That said, I've come VERY close to meeting the man of my dreams a few times. Unfortunently, they were just getting out of relationships, or the chemistry just wasn't there. One guy...we were getting deep into a relationship, but there wasn't enough spark to keep it going, but I liked the friendship. We still chat here and there, but I know if I stayed with him, I'd be settling big time and that wouldn't be fair.

    Lord help me Jesus God!
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    Aug 09, 2015 6:11 PM GMT
    FuzzyPecs27 said
    LAXWill10 saidLol this sound like several guys I went on a date with. Some said:

    *Oh, I'm so over the gay scene, not for me.

    * I hate gay people and can't stand them. (yet you're a homo??

    *I'm post gay, I'm special !!

    and other variations of that, so after a while I just decided that this is a requirement to be a homo, to self-hating the gay community?? lol


    I'll clarify...I do not hate gay people. I also believe any gay person who MEETS ANOTHER GAY PERSON IS IN THE SCENE. Period. Whether the scene is adam4adam or the Gay bar. If a person is not into the gay scene, they better be dating women, married, or have kids. Then I'll buy the bullshit. I can't stand it when gay guys bash the gay culture, scene, or way of life. Honestly, I like the gay life for what it is. I don't wish to be straight either I wouldn't really consider calling it quits either because what a sad day it'd be to leave this life and not have traveled the world. Who knows what's out there in Spain, Armenia, Russia, Brazil, etc. so I ain't giving up on shit...shiiiiiiit

    However, I do want some fucking success at some point. I do think the bullshit and the games and living life like a 20 year old at 40 needs to fucking stop in the gay community. There's too many mother fucking immature, emotionally stunted, habitually bullshit mother fuckers in the gay community. It's like some men never grow the fuck up, and I'm fucking sick of this shit. It bothers me because I feel I'm too advanced, yet at 27...people still feel "I'm young and have my whole life ahead of me". I'm so fucking sick of people saying that shit. People actually do settle down at this age.

    Again, I admit I've met many of these guys in bars or online..,but in the times I've tried to meet men in normal situations, they've turned out to be straight. In addition, many gay guys in normal situations just don't talk to each other. The whole gay world is wrapped in hookup apps, so we've gotten complacent.

    That said, I've come VERY close to meeting the man of my dreams a few times. Unfortunently, they were just getting out of relationships, or the chemistry just wasn't there. One guy...we were getting deep into a relationship, but there wasn't enough spark to keep it going, but I liked the friendship. We still chat here and there, but I know if I stayed with him, I'd be settling big time and that wouldn't be fair.

    Lord help me Jesus God!


    I see the usual trollers dismissing anything truthful said in a forum just coz they don't want to hear the reality that a great many of us are messed up and to some degree dysfunctional. Why else would a community which only recently overcame being labelled pedophiles every time they were near a child and the response from that is to create a porn genre which has morphed into a fetish (daddy-son) which in isolation from the historical experience sounds inocuous, as opposed to the reality that we are once again trying our best to prove those zealots right.

    There are many other examples too of things we adopt which are unhealthy physically and emotionally. It's not that the hole community is bad or that the dominant culture prevailing in the modem gay community is irreparable, but we sure do accept and defend so really awful positions on what is socially acceptable then can't understand why the mainstream still discriminate (yes much less than previous decades) and our markers of dysfunction include poor mental health, higher rates of suicide, lower rates of successful relationships, high rates of substance abuse to name a few things, not to mention rates of STI transmission.
    Gay life isn't so bad that we need to throw everything out and start again but the accepted approach to airing issues we all know are true is to bury our heads in the sand. I get it that many men have had to justify just being gay that they don't want to have to feel they need to justify being gay again after getting comfortable with being gay. Unfortunately though that just makes things worse and nothing can be challenged if it's not aired so I say thanks for stating something Many of us hate to acknowledge but know in your heart to be true
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    Aug 09, 2015 11:42 PM GMT
    This thread has made me realize I complain to much in life. I will never be happy as long as I seek the approval of people who never actually approve of themselves.
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    Aug 12, 2015 9:49 PM GMT
    Chulo saidFuzzypecs you are just a miserable man all around.

    99.5% of your threads are negative. Perhaps the problem is you. Not that you're gay, or black, or whatever. You are just miserable.


    Grow up.


    Chulo for President! He's not afraid to tell it like it is! He makes the Donald look amateurish.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Aug 13, 2015 5:43 AM GMT
    Geez OP, it really does seem like you've experienced quite a lot in your life and I'm sorry you've had such negative experiences... But to answer your question, yes I have. I still sometimes have those thoughts, especially after watching a documentary about the "Aokigahara" Forest in Japan, referred to as the "Suicide Forest". The place may have a depressing theme but it's so beautiful and I can see why people choose that area to commit suicide. So if I had the money and was able to travel and still feeling suicidal, I'd definitely choose that place to spend my last moments.

    But anyway, I definitely think you need to move the heck out of the area you're in. The places you mentioned sound like good places to try so if you can, save your money and move somewhere else. I hope you feel better OP, just know you're not the only one who has these thoughts, we all do at some points in our lives.
  • BossTanaka

    Posts: 26

    Aug 14, 2015 10:57 PM GMT
    FuzzyPecs27 said

    But I'm in a place right now where I'm just not seeing the value of the gay lifestyle. The meaningless conversations, going out, superficial, hyper-sexual bullshit and fake relationships...it just repulses me. I get sick of my friends talking about it, and I get sick of guys I meet thinking about it.



    Remove the word gay and it's the same shit everyone deals with and complains about no matter if they're gay or not. In your post I see a lot of blaming on the surroundings but have you ever thought that maybe it's you who attracts these fake relationships and superficial bullshit? And if so, then moving wouldn't really help your case because you will just attract the same shit wherever. So addressing the problem at the source would be better.

    Im sorry if im coming off as harsh or not caring, it's really not my intention. My only point is that sometimes we tend to blame the bad situations we're in on everything but ourselves. I wish you to get out of this phase and be happy as soon as possible and never have these thoughts again. Cheers ;)
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    Aug 14, 2015 11:47 PM GMT
    Maybe you just have terrible taste in men?
  • NyRuinz

    Posts: 887

    Aug 16, 2015 10:02 AM GMT
    roadbikeRob saidExactly, the gay and lesbian community is definitely not alone with the problems associated with flakes, psychos, hypocrites, and artificial personalities. Straights are even worse.

    The thing that has me thoroughly disgusted with life is the socioeconomic inequality with the wealthiest of the wealthy getting much richer while 98% of the total population is getting poorer and more destitute thanks to the horribly failed supply side, trickle down economics combined with these horrific free trade agreements. Upward mobility is now only a pipe dream in today's economy thanks to these money hungry, bloated bastards.


    I agree I think society in general is becoming morally corrupt. People are more concerned with fame, finances and followers. I think the best thing to do is keep to yourself and be selective in regards to who you let in your circle.
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    Aug 16, 2015 1:02 PM GMT
    The best thing I ever did for myself was to get the Hell out of the Midwest and move to NYC. All of the things you describe do take place here as well, but there are alternatives. I've met some amazing people here and I feel like I have a solid group of people I can call on if I need help, and I have their back as well. I've met some very interesting gay people at the gym, at the dog park, in stores, etc. I didn't realize it when I got her, but having a dog breaks down a lot of social barriers and makes it much easier to strike up conversations.

    I started over here with nothing...I sold my house, car, and possessions and moved into an apartment with four other people (now I just live with one). I got laid off from the same job twice and started a whole different career I couldn't have anywhere else. The best part was that I got to choose my friends more carefully and walk away from the ones who create or participate in too much drama. NY can be a tough city, but it's home to me and I feel happier here than anywhere else.
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    Aug 19, 2015 7:32 AM GMT
    Yes I actually have had three suicide attempts. I just get real depressed sometimes because I look for the acceptance of others, and can't get it, when that's the whole point of society is to have others accept you. If you're just going to be a hermit then might as well kill yourself right?