What's the best way to ask a former bf to become a FB (Fuck Buddy)?

  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Aug 05, 2015 4:14 PM GMT
    We dated each other for about six months but certain aspects of each other's personalities eventually "rubbed the wrong way" and we mutually agreed to break up.

    We are still cordial, comment on each other's Facebook and twitter pages, chat a bit when we see each other at the gay bars or coffee shops, hug, kiss, sometimes playfully grope each other when coming or going. Clearly the physical attraction we shared is still there.

    We both always agreed that the "between the sheets" action was awesome and enjoyable...then and now. We were quie compatible naked and in bed; it was outside of the bedroom we weren't so great together.

    What would be the best approach to use, the best way to ask this former bf if he would like to try being Fuck Buddies?
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Aug 05, 2015 4:18 PM GMT
    Somehow double posted this thread; deleted one.

  • AttisXVI

    Posts: 293

    Aug 05, 2015 4:20 PM GMT
    I feel like you don't actually ask someone to be your FB. It just happens that way.
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    Aug 05, 2015 4:33 PM GMT
    ask him to close his eyes and open wide. works on new guys too.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Aug 05, 2015 4:35 PM GMT
    CODY4U saidask him to close his eyes and open wide.



    I used that approach the very first time we enjoyed sex!



    icon_lol.gif
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    Aug 05, 2015 4:36 PM GMT
    AttisXVI saidI feel like you don't actually ask someone to be your FB. It just happens that way.
    +1
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    Aug 05, 2015 4:47 PM GMT
    Maybe just try to hook-up, and see what happens from there ? Like other RJs said, you can't ask for it, it has to come up "organically"... Make it happen I'd say, if you really want to ! icon_wink.gif
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Aug 06, 2015 2:36 AM GMT
    With this particular guy I might be better off emailing him.
  • mystery905

    Posts: 745

    Aug 06, 2015 2:50 AM GMT
    lucky guy!
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Aug 06, 2015 3:10 AM GMT
    I don't see why you can't just say, "Hey, we're not boyfriends anymore but I think you're super hot and the sex was great and I'd love to keep hooking up with you if you're down with that." The worst he could say is "no," and I doubt he's a mind reader.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Aug 06, 2015 3:25 AM GMT
    Bunjamon saidI don't see why you can't just say, "Hey, we're not boyfriends anymore but I think you're super hot and the sex was great and I'd love to keep hooking up with you if you're down with that." The worst he could say is "no," and I doubt he's a mind reader.



    THIS is the way to go.
    And, don't ask him in person.
    Give him a chance to think about it, and to formulate a response.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 872

    Aug 12, 2015 9:02 AM GMT
    If you really need to ask the dude, and how you do this, are probably the questions that you can answer best yourself.

    Some people like to vocalize, state things. The others are happy to go with the flow, and let one thing lead to another.

    I used to have a BF who later on turned to be a great FB. Neither he nor I felt the need to talk about this. We simply had very different life plans. He did not like mine, and equally did not see much value in his. But the sex was always awesome.

    We stayed friends nonetheless. It was a bit awkward for him in the beginning but that phase lasted for a week or so. We quickly fell into a productive routine: we basically booked one evening for ourselves. I'd take him out for a nice dinner, we'd chat, and return to my place for drinks. We rarely needed any drink whatsoever. Once I looked the door, he dropped on his knees, and we went for it, just like we used to while we were still BFs. It worked just fine.

    Eventually, both he and I met other people, started other relationships, and once I moved abroad, our arrangement stopped. No drama whatsoever.

    We sometimes talked about the fact that you can have sex with quite a few people. Most of those hook ups are average. Having very good sex is bu no means a given. Hence, if you have someone with whom sex happens to be very good all the time, you want to benefit from it.

    SC
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    Aug 12, 2015 12:49 PM GMT
    rnch saidSomehow double posted this thread; deleted one.

    I've been having that problem lately, keep finding my posts get doubled, so I have to delete one. Not sure if it's RJ, my iMac with Safari, or what.

    As for your FB question, don't actually ask him. Just have the sex without the commitment, he'll get the idea and either go along with it or not. I've had a few FBs in the past, never used that term with them, nor they with me, which some might find a bit demeaning if not outright insulting.
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    Aug 13, 2015 9:02 PM GMT
    icon_idea.gifGive him a blowjob then ask him.
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    Aug 13, 2015 9:23 PM GMT
    Here's what you do....next time he gropes you, STIFFLY hold his arm there in place (it helps if you are hard!).....look straight into his eyes. He'll either kiss you deeply......or laugh.

    No harm, no foul. Nothing needs to be said.