GROWING UP!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 29, 2009 6:49 PM GMT
    this is totally random but i was wondering if any of you guys have a younger sibling and has noticed that your parents are way more involved with that sibling.

    dont get me wrong i had a good childhood and like the person i have turned out to be, but sometimes i wonder if i could have been a better person or something if they had payed the same amount of attention to me as they do my younger sibling (she is 7)

    wondering if you guys ever get the same feeling or vibe when going home.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jan 29, 2009 6:57 PM GMT
    Well I think its important to remember that your 7 year old sibling needs attention that you, at your age don't. The focus may be a little different at any rate since you have a sister. Times change, economics also... I think its unfortunate that one sibling feels slighted. Sometimes one kid in a family needs more attention because they are needy or challenged. I hope you don't fault your parents for it.


    And for the record...I'm a younger sibling, my older sibling always thought I "got" more than he... which isn't true. He also didn't care for his property
    growing up. I treated mine like it was gold... I could go on and on, but.....
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    Jan 29, 2009 6:59 PM GMT
    I had the exact opposite experience. Most attention was paid to my older brother and I was often excluded from family matters from that.

    He was the more rambunctious child however and therefore may have required more tending and codling. But, that doesn't justify an unequal provision of care from parents. Often times its the neglected children that develop compulsory behaviours such as eating disorders, alcoholism, etc..
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    Jan 29, 2009 7:51 PM GMT
    ^ true... guess it all worked out in the end bc i poured myself into sports and excelled greatly. oh well lol

    sucks being a trial run though haha
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    Jan 29, 2009 8:23 PM GMT
    I am the oldest of 5. I can't do anything right while the youngest is up on a pedestal. Of course she calls 5X a day.. I can't suck up like that.
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    Jan 29, 2009 8:32 PM GMT
    I've got older and younger siblings. I can't honestly say that things changed too much when I left home. My younger sister got involved in social activities a bit more but that's due to being in Highschool at the the time when when that sort of thing happens and people start to come out of their shell more. My folks encouraged all of us equally I would say.

    If anything I would say my folks did spend more time with my little sister simply because she was the last of us to leave the house and the only living their at the time.

    I think my folks gave me everything I wanted/needed even when I didn't want or need it. I can't complain. They gave me my space and I loved that about them and they made talking to them so easy. What's not to love about that.
  • oxdr

    Posts: 92

    Jan 29, 2009 8:42 PM GMT
    As a father of two, that is something that I am really watching myself. I don't want to give one more attention then the other.

    I was actually the youngest so I did get the most attention, I also saw how it effected my two older brothers. I bacame the one that had to ask for everything because I usally got what I wanted. Although it dd becom overwhelming and eventually I just started to rebel against my parents. That did nothing because then I was getting bad attention. I think it was because they saw mistakes that they made with my older brothers and wanted to make sure they were not repeated with me. Who knows.

    Oh and don't think about it to much, she's 7. Kids get attention and a lot of it at that age.
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    Jan 29, 2009 8:47 PM GMT
    I'm the younger of two. My brother is ten years older than I. My parents had achieved much more financial success by the time I came along, so they were able to provide me with more opportunities than they could to my brother. I don't think they loved either of us more than the other. My brother always told me I was spoiled rotten as I was growing up...my answer: Yes I was, but I deserved it!!!
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    Jan 29, 2009 8:52 PM GMT
    like i said guys, im not complaining.

    i got what i wanted and i was probably spoiled as well. i am talking about things like doing my homework with me, comming to school for lunch, being a part of the pta, going on school trips. just simple stuff like that they were never around.

    whereas now they seem to jump at any opportunity to be included. i dont resent them it just would have been nice is all
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    Jan 29, 2009 9:08 PM GMT
    Garunner saidlike i said guys, im not complaining.

    i got what i wanted and i was probably spoiled as well. i am talking about things like doing my homework with me, comming to school for lunch, being a part of the pta, going on school trips. just simple stuff like that they were never around.

    whereas now they seem to jump at any opportunity to be included. i dont resent them it just would have been nice is all


    Now that they're settled down more, they may have more opportunity to do those things. You don't stop growing up one day...it's a constant process, and they're not the same parents they were when you were young.

    I'm the youngest in my family, and yea, I'll gladly admit that I got spoiled in those areas compared to my brother and sister, who are 6-7 years older than me. However, they also had a younger set of parents, that were much more active and patient. They had beach trips and trips to the poconos at a moments notice, and a more laidback response to their teenage years. By the time I was a teen, I was bumming rides off my friends to go places and had a much more strict set of rules from all the crazy stuff my older siblings got caught doing...lol

    I guess the easiest way to put it is, I had the "You have to eat healthy - let me make you a hearty meal." Whereas my siblings got the "Lets stop for pizza on our way home from daytripping." My 'family experience' was a much more sedentary, see you for dinner and school and the 'things that matter;' rather than the memories you have all your life of the crazy stuff you did. Who knows which is better, or if there even is a better, but it's just a reality of aging. =/