First date...Not top enough?...Sex talk?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 12, 2015 2:00 PM GMT
    Hello everyone,

    So, i just want to get something off my chest and maybe some clarity as well.
    Ok, so I have not actively tried to date or meet anyone for a few months already due to a bad breakup and I was doing just fine focusing on my friends and work.

    At some point, I felt like I needed to prove myself that my heart hasn't turn to stone or that I had not become jaded all together.
    So, I said yes to a date with a guy I wasn't necessarily attracted to...but still.

    Anyway, so throughout the date he kept asking me questions about sex...as in when was the last time...how endowed I was...How passionate/rough was I in bed...then telling me how he can douche in less that 10mins & like dicks that are 6 INCHES or less.

    I told him that those questions made me uncomfortable and was not necessarily expecting them on a first date from someone I met on OKC.
    I replied that I had not had sex in the last 2 months and that I was fine with it...and was at a point in my life where i needed it to mean something.

    He then kept rolling his eyes & went on to call me a prude and question me being a top...and that the behavior was characteristic of bottoms....

    What do guys think, am I the only top who believes so? Or am I being too uptight? Is sex a first date appropriate topic?

    Thank you.

  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 872

    Aug 12, 2015 7:48 PM GMT
    Your date confused a casual, NSA hookup with a date. If a dude is mostly interested in the sex bit, he'd be better of hitting a spa, club, or a backroom. This is where you have most of such questions answered without even having to ask them in the first place.

    There is nothing inherently wrong or right with wanting to have sex, even on a first date. But a guy has to remember that it takes two to tango, and that talking too much about it is probably the best way NOT to get there at all.

    Move on without ever thinking about this experience. You want to meet intelligent, smart dudes who will enrich your life, not creeps who will want your sex stats on a first date.

    SC

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 12, 2015 9:56 PM GMT
    I fainted at "dicks 6' or less." There are dicks greater than 6 feet long?! icon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gif
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Aug 12, 2015 10:22 PM GMT
    I think I would have simply said that I was sorry not to conform to his ideal and left.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 12, 2015 10:39 PM GMT
    ya the OP played into it too much
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2015 2:06 AM GMT
    I really do love being 40 years old.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2015 2:24 AM GMT
    OKC Cupid attracts a certain creepy type. Never had a luck with it at all.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2015 2:38 AM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidI fainted at "dicks 6' or less." There are dicks greater than 6 feet long?! icon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gif
    +1 icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2015 2:47 AM GMT
    Put out or get out. Even for dates, you really aren't going to get too far without being willing to put out, that's just a harsh reality that one must deal with. Sex is just a release, nothing more.

    You admit that you weren't really attracted to the guy and going out with someone that you aren't attracted to is pointless.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2015 3:37 AM GMT
    James_Thunder_Early saidPut out or get out. Even for dates, you really aren't going to get too far without being willing to put out, that's just a harsh reality that one must deal with. Sex is just a release, nothing more.

    You admit that you weren't really attracted to the guy and going out with someone that you aren't attracted to is pointless.


    Thanks for your input, I choose the later... thanks.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2015 3:37 AM GMT
    woodfordr saidI really do love being 40 years old.


    I can't wait. lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2015 3:38 AM GMT
    SilverRRCloud saidYour date confused a casual, NSA hookup with a date. If a dude is mostly interested in the sex bit, he'd be better of hitting a spa, club, or a backroom. This is where you have most of such questions answered without even having to ask them in the first place.

    There is nothing inherently wrong or right with wanting to have sex, even on a first date. But a guy has to remember that it takes two to tango, and that talking too much about it is probably the best way NOT to get there at all.

    Move on without ever thinking about this experience. You want to meet intelligent, smart dudes who will enrich your life, not creeps who will want your sex stats on a first date.

    SC



    You were right on the money, thanks for your input.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2015 3:45 AM GMT
    FollowingRivers said
    woodfordr saidI really do love being 40 years old.


    I can't wait. lol
    It's all downhill after 40, dude.

    Then again, I was 41 when I got into the extreme sport of downhill mountain biking. icon_wink.gif
  • mar0302

    Posts: 273

    Aug 13, 2015 4:52 AM GMT
    It sounds like he didn't want a date, he wanted a hookup.. First lesson, avoid going out with someone you're not attracted to.. second lesson, avoid people that want to hookup in the context of dates.. my 2p on getting older.. life got a lot better after 40... and keeps getting better still.. I'm less worried about this kind of drama and the guys I attract tend to be better quality.. ..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2015 5:05 AM GMT
    FollowingRivers said
    James_Thunder_Early saidPut out or get out. Even for dates, you really aren't going to get too far without being willing to put out, that's just a harsh reality that one must deal with. Sex is just a release, nothing more.

    You admit that you weren't really attracted to the guy and going out with someone that you aren't attracted to is pointless.


    Thanks for your input, I choose the later... thanks.


    Of course and that is a good thing you choose a more positive route. It's a real challenge to find men who want to have an actual date of substance.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2015 1:35 PM GMT
    woodfordr saidI really do love being 40 years old.


    +1! LOL! It gets even better at 60! icon_cool.gif
  • Galer654

    Posts: 1

    Aug 13, 2015 3:11 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidI fainted at "dicks 6' or less." There are dicks greater than 6 feet long?! icon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gif


    I've met a lot of 6 foot dicks.
  • AttisXVI

    Posts: 293

    Aug 13, 2015 3:28 PM GMT
    He sounds like a total slut. You should delete him from your phone after you give his number to Paul.

    P.S. I'd say 70 is better. You have pension and retirement, so you can travel the world and buy all the escorts you want.
  • toastvenom

    Posts: 1020

    Aug 13, 2015 5:30 PM GMT
    nooooo the gay culture isn't oversexualized AT all.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2015 6:33 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidI fainted at "dicks 6' or less." There are dicks greater than 6 feet long?! icon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gif


    Yes but mostly on Dinosaurs
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 14, 2015 12:17 AM GMT
    mar0302 saidIt sounds like he didn't want a date, he wanted a hookup.. First lesson, avoid going out with someone you're not attracted to.. second lesson, avoid people that want to hookup in the context of dates.. my 2p on getting older.. life got a lot better after 40... and keeps getting better still.. I'm less worried about this kind of drama and the guys I attract tend to be better quality.. ..


    Pretty solid advice. Thank you. I am still learning about the do & don'ts of gay dating...But hopefully by 40 I'ld have had it all figured out.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 14, 2015 12:18 AM GMT
    AttisXVI saidHe sounds like a total slut. You should delete him from your phone after you give his number to Paul.

    P.S. I'd say 70 is better. You have pension and retirement, so you can travel the world and buy all the escorts you want.


    Aahahah, but aren't you too tired to do anything at 70? icon_rolleyes.gif
  • wellwell

    Posts: 2265

    Aug 14, 2015 2:30 PM GMT
    ...Seems to me, that "typical" describes ABSOLUTELY NOTHING you need in your life, right now.


    Find a quality man; I think you deserve it.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Aug 14, 2015 5:01 PM GMT
    AttisXVI saidHe sounds like a total slut. You should delete him from your phone after you give his number to Paul.

    P.S. I'd say 70 is better. You have pension and retirement, so you can travel the world and buy all the escorts you want.


    Please inform me where one gets all this money. At age 67 I am lucky to pay the bills. Travel? Hah! Not even a day trip.