Tickling during hookup - worth informing beforehand?

  • phenomenon

    Posts: 7

    Aug 15, 2015 3:34 PM GMT
    I have one thing more than anything else which gets me off when playing with a guy. I love tickling them. It's a massive turn-on. I guess one could classify it as a fetish. I especially love tickling guys feet while I'm inside of them and they're on their backs, feet in the air. I love watching the expression on their face and watching them twitch, etc (a little strange, I know).

    Naturally however, some guys really don't like getting tickled. I've tickled quite a few guys I've hooked up with on Grindr. Some were pretty much okay with it, while others asked me to stop.

    Do you think it would be wise to ask them before I hooked up with them? I feel that telling them beforehand would lessen the embarrassment of me doing it on the spot, as I am perpetually afraid of scaring them or really pissing them off. The only hesitation I would have in doing so would be turning them off meeting, as after all, tickling is a rather unusual activity to participate in before and during sex. So as a result, I don't want to appear to be a 'freak'.

    How could I word it in a way which makes it sound more benign rather than weird?

    Any ideas/thoughts/suggestions would be awesome!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 15, 2015 3:47 PM GMT
    Tickling is not weird. I personally love it. Making someone laugh is a way to greater intimacy in my opinion. Once you have someone laughing, their walls come down very quickly and a real connection can happen. I find after a good tickling session the passion skyrockets.

    The problem with mentioning it beforehand is no one will admit to enjoying being tickled for some reason. So even if they're into it, they will most likely say no. I've actually never had anyone get mad at me for tickling them. I'd say that about 95% of the guys I've been with love it and the other 5% just tell me not to do that, which I respect. (Usually.) icon_twisted.gif
  • phenomenon

    Posts: 7

    Aug 15, 2015 3:55 PM GMT
    Interesting, I really wish that many guys were into it! I had a hookup last week and started tickling the guy, and he asked me to stop, which was saddening, in a somewhat forceful way too. In what context did you tickle them?
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    Aug 15, 2015 4:12 PM GMT
    phenomenon saidInteresting, I really wish that many guys were into it! I had a hookup last week and started tickling the guy, and he asked me to stop, which was saddening, in a somewhat forceful way too. In what context did you tickle them?



    I always start out in a very playful manner. At first I start out like maybe I wasn't intentionally trying to tickle them, just to gauge their response. My favorite way is to start kissing a known ticklish area such as their ribcage or bottoms of their feet. If they laugh and seem to enjoy it, I continue. My guess is you're going in too fast and hard without monitoring their pleasure level. Otherwise they would not have to "forcefully" stop you.
  • phenomenon

    Posts: 7

    Aug 16, 2015 12:18 AM GMT
    Fair enough. Anybody else have any thoughts on this?
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 871

    Aug 16, 2015 11:58 AM GMT
    Yup. There is a fine line here which you do not want to cross. Every dude out there has his idiosyncrasies. I met a dude who wanted to have sex only with ALL lights turned on??? Then, I bumped into another one who wanted to do it in total darkness only, etc.

    I'd say, talk about anything b4hand if this is a matter of utmost importance to you, as in, you cannot function without it, giving the other dude a chance to bail out, if he does not like it, AND use common sense when it comes to the play specifics. As in, do not assume that everyone likes 'facials, WS, etc..

    In other words, biggies require a talk b4hand. Matters that you enjoy but are negotiable can be quickly addressed while the play is in progress.

    SC

  • phenomenon

    Posts: 7

    Aug 17, 2015 3:02 AM GMT
    Thanks for the advice.
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1765

    Aug 17, 2015 7:38 AM GMT
    I hate being tickled, even though people think I find it amusing based on my reaction. I'm ticklish to the point where I find it hard when people kiss me on the stomach. It sucks really, I'm so ticklish that I punch someone if they don't stop tickling me when I tell them to stop. I know I've talked to some people who feel the same as me, so I'd suggest just mentioning it beforehand, like "I like tickling people during sex" is enough, if someone is REALLY ticklish they'll you right there and then if it's okay or not.

    It might also a bit different during sex, I know that I experience tickling a bit differently during sex than other times.
  • phenomenon

    Posts: 7

    Aug 17, 2015 11:54 AM GMT
    And there's the rub (no pun intended). If i say to them "I enjoy tickling during sex", I feel that it sounds awfully creepy.

    Would perhaps something like, "I enjoy body contact - ticklish guys to the front icon_smile.gif" or similar along those lines be less in-your-face and thus scary?

    Have any suggestions of how I could word it?
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    Aug 17, 2015 2:41 PM GMT
    phenomenon saidAnd there's the rub (no pun intended). If i say to them "I enjoy tickling during sex", I feel that it sounds awfully creepy.

    Would perhaps something like, "I enjoy body contact - ticklish guys to the front icon_smile.gif" or similar along those lines be less in-your-face and thus scary?

    Have any suggestions of how I could word it?



    As I said previously, I've been incorporating tickling in sex my whole life with a lot of success. Not sure why you insist on talking about it first, so let me repeat what I said earlier.....

    The problem with mentioning it beforehand is no one will admit to enjoying being tickled for some reason. So even if they're into it, they will most likely say no. I've actually never had anyone get mad at me for tickling them.

    I always start out in a very playful manner. At first I start out like maybe I wasn't intentionally trying to tickle them, just to gauge their response. My favorite way is to start kissing a known ticklish area such as their ribcage or bottoms of their feet. If they laugh and seem to enjoy it, I continue.

    Talking about it beforehand is not only unnecessary but actually counterproductive. That will only put them on-guard. icon_confused.gif
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Aug 17, 2015 3:47 PM GMT
    I hate being tickled. If you need to tickle to enjoy being with a guy, sure, just mention it once you get to the point of the conversation that it is clear that sex is likely. It is such a funny thing that you can easily just say something like "Now I know this is odd, but I really like to tickle guys when we get close. Is that a problem?" If you were to ask me, I'd answer directly that that will not happen. You can figure out what you want to do next. Sure, you'll lose some dates but if it is something you need to have fun, it isn't a loss to either of you if you don't get together. The other thing you could do is put a disclaimer on your profile: WARNING! I TICKLE! I'm often mystified why some guys on dating sites won't disclose top or bottom. Seems like necessary information to determine a successful match.
  • phenomenon

    Posts: 7

    Aug 17, 2015 9:55 PM GMT
    So the two camps seems to be:

    a) Tell beforehand to avoid incompatibility
    or
    b) Don't tell beforehand and just incorporate it in through kissing, etc.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2015 11:16 PM GMT
    phenomenon saidSo the two camps seems to be:

    a) Tell beforehand to avoid incompatibility
    or
    b) Don't tell beforehand and just incorporate it in through kissing, etc.





    Question I forgot to ask you: Is tickling absolutely mandatory? Like can you enjoy sex without it or is it a deal breaker if it doesn't happen?
  • phenomenon

    Posts: 7

    Aug 18, 2015 6:03 AM GMT
    Radd, it's not a deal-breaker, but it reduces the fun by about 90%. Considering hookups are all about fun, that's a significant reduction. It's not like it's a relationship with many other facets to consider.