Hot straight guy, not that impossible (unless it's an attractive woman then probably).
A hot gay guy then quite often yes because his only mission really is to just get the hook up and move on.
Either he has to start getting too old to pull hook ups like he used to or somehow in the midst of hooking up he finds someone he wants to actually get serious with, is generally the time they begin to stop only thinking of themselves.
Short from that, I'd say there are actually few hot gay guys who aren't so self absorbed. Overtime they may become more of a decent person, partly I feel is because they feel they have to otherwise they'll end up being alone, but overall I wouldn't hold my breath.
If you aren't considered attractive then they probably wouldn't even notice you, unless they are the catty type and are judging you in their mind lol.
Of course that's just what I think, I can't provide any statistical information to back up what I just said.
Anyway sorry it's been a bad experience for you, but as they say, the best is yet to come.