Topping for the first time

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 24, 2015 12:50 PM GMT
    To make a long story short, I've never had anal intercourse before. I'd have to be a top by default since I had some intestinal surgeries when I was younger that prevent me from bottoming according to my surgeon.

    I'm nervous about topping for the first time and not really sure how to go about it. I'm also worried about how a guy would react to me being 25 and never having done it before. I want to "get it over with" so I've been looking for hookups on Grindr, but it seems like most guys prefer guys who are experienced.

    I've considered hiring an escort (see my other thread) to get some practice in, but I'm not sure how I really feel about that.

    Any advice?
  • Sam_mas

    Posts: 33

    Aug 24, 2015 1:09 PM GMT
    escort... seems like a good idea icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 24, 2015 2:18 PM GMT
    Sam_mas saidescort... seems like a good idea icon_cool.gif
    +1
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 24, 2015 4:49 PM GMT
    You don't have to disclose that you've never done it before.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Aug 24, 2015 6:50 PM GMT
    You're worrying too much. Just find a guy and do it. Once you have, you'll see that you can handle your part of the event and that there was no need to make a big deal over it. Go on... You're gonna love it.
  • Nhlakz

    Posts: 149

    Aug 24, 2015 7:17 PM GMT
    Watch gay porn and nva disclose u nva had sex b4...and dont try to hard during sex...just enjoy it.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Aug 24, 2015 7:39 PM GMT
    Start with rimming, and if that floats your boat, you're halfway there!icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 24, 2015 7:54 PM GMT

    ant811, it's no different than putting your tongue in a guy's mouth. Think about this. How do you go about french kissing (using tongue)? You don't just ram your tongue in there, right?


    ...I also advise not to take the attitude of 'get it over with' - it's one of the most profound and intimate sexual acts, a better attitude would be to regard it as such and enjoy it, or wait for a time when you are with someone you really have feelings for, then do it (my recommendation).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 24, 2015 8:09 PM GMT
    If physically you can't bottom, what makes you think you must top?

    hmmm?
    http://www.realjock.com/allforumposts/870896/
    Hiring an escort?
    Talking to a cute guy and he didn't reply to my text?
    What do you think of this "miracle" weight loss program with NO EXERCISE as a requirement?
    Laser hair removal/electrolysis in ass crack?
    Ever feel ugly around good-looking friends?
    Can't bottom...no real sex life for me?
    OCD, anyone?
    Got cut trimming "down there" (ouch!)...how to treat skin?
    Hairy Ass Problems...
    Almost 0 sex drive at 24...I think something is wrong


    HottJoe saidStart with rimming, and if that floats your boat, you're halfway there!icon_lol.gif


    What makes you think he's into feces?icon_rolleyes.gif
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Aug 24, 2015 8:54 PM GMT
    Compaq saidIf physically you can't bottom, what makes you think you must top?

    hmmm?
    http://www.realjock.com/allforumposts/870896/
    Hiring an escort?
    Talking to a cute guy and he didn't reply to my text?
    What do you think of this "miracle" weight loss program with NO EXERCISE as a requirement?
    Laser hair removal/electrolysis in ass crack?
    Ever feel ugly around good-looking friends?
    Can't bottom...no real sex life for me?
    OCD, anyone?
    Got cut trimming "down there" (ouch!)...how to treat skin?
    Hairy Ass Problems...
    Almost 0 sex drive at 24...I think something is wrong


    HottJoe saidStart with rimming, and if that floats your boat, you're halfway there!icon_lol.gif


    What makes you think he's into feces?icon_rolleyes.gif

    What an ignorant comment. I'm pretty sure when straight guys lick vaginas they don't end up with a mouthful of urine, yeast and menstrual blood... Ever hear of a thing called soap/good hygiene? Or are you just gross??
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 24, 2015 9:33 PM GMT
    Is it best to be honest or just not say anything and go for it?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 24, 2015 9:34 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    Compaq saidIf physically you can't bottom, what makes you think you must top?

    hmmm?
    http://www.realjock.com/allforumposts/870896/
    Hiring an escort?
    Talking to a cute guy and he didn't reply to my text?
    What do you think of this "miracle" weight loss program with NO EXERCISE as a requirement?
    Laser hair removal/electrolysis in ass crack?
    Ever feel ugly around good-looking friends?
    Can't bottom...no real sex life for me?
    OCD, anyone?
    Got cut trimming "down there" (ouch!)...how to treat skin?
    Hairy Ass Problems...
    Almost 0 sex drive at 24...I think something is wrong


    HottJoe saidStart with rimming, and if that floats your boat, you're halfway there!icon_lol.gif


    What makes you think he's into feces?icon_rolleyes.gif

    What an ignorant comment. I'm pretty sure when straight guys lick vaginas they don't end up with a mouthful of urine, yeast and menstrual blood... Ever hear of a thing called soap/good hygiene? Or are you just gross??


    A woman is by nature a bottom and is taught proper hygiene starting at puberty. You can't compare two different orifices as the same, but you may not fully understand that as you've referred to yourself as a sub bottom. icon_rolleyes.gif
    For someone who has a problem with masculine, feminine, straight acting, and all kinds of gay stereotypes, you're often the biggest promoter of gay stereotypes.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Aug 24, 2015 10:07 PM GMT
    ant811 saidIs it best to be honest or just not say anything and go for it?

    I think so. Just find a guy that seems like someone you could be friends with. An easy going guy. A nice guy. You can disclose that it's your first time once things get going but I wouldn't make a big deal about it and I wouldn't say anything when setting up the date. You do know that it will be your job to supply condoms (take 4 or 5) and lube. Other than that, just enjoy yourself and remember, the best (well, nearly) moments are the ones that make you laugh. Sex is about fun and communication. One mistake novices make is to not ask questions: Does this feel good? What do you like? Is it better like this? Or this? Everyone likes it a bit differently and some a lot differently. So remember, it isn't a test!
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Aug 24, 2015 10:57 PM GMT
    Compaq said
    HottJoe said
    Compaq saidIf physically you can't bottom, what makes you think you must top?

    hmmm?
    http://www.realjock.com/allforumposts/870896/
    Hiring an escort?
    Talking to a cute guy and he didn't reply to my text?
    What do you think of this "miracle" weight loss program with NO EXERCISE as a requirement?
    Laser hair removal/electrolysis in ass crack?
    Ever feel ugly around good-looking friends?
    Can't bottom...no real sex life for me?
    OCD, anyone?
    Got cut trimming "down there" (ouch!)...how to treat skin?
    Hairy Ass Problems...
    Almost 0 sex drive at 24...I think something is wrong


    HottJoe saidStart with rimming, and if that floats your boat, you're halfway there!icon_lol.gif


    What makes you think he's into feces?icon_rolleyes.gif

    What an ignorant comment. I'm pretty sure when straight guys lick vaginas they don't end up with a mouthful of urine, yeast and menstrual blood... Ever hear of a thing called soap/good hygiene? Or are you just gross??


    A woman is by nature a bottom and is taught proper hygiene starting at puberty. You can't compare two different orifices as the same, but you may not fully understand that as you've referred to yourself as a sub bottom. icon_rolleyes.gif
    For someone who has a problem with masculine, feminine, straight acting, and all kinds of gay stereotypes, you're often the biggest promoter of gay stereotypes.

    I think the stereotypical guy on RJ is a conservative chicken shit with no profile pic.... Kinda sad that you also don't know how to keep your ass clean. It's really not that complicated.icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 25, 2015 12:58 AM GMT
    HottJoe saidStart with rimming, and if that floats your boat, you're halfway there!icon_lol.gif


    Yeah. Learn how to work an ass like a master. If you dig tearing into a couple of mellons with your tongue and fingers, you'll be itching to snake a drain before you know it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 25, 2015 1:05 PM GMT
    GAMRican said
    HottJoe saidStart with rimming, and if that floats your boat, you're halfway there!icon_lol.gif


    Yeah. Learn how to work an ass like a master. If you dig tearing into a couple of mellons with your tongue and fingers, you'll be itching to snake a drain before you know it.


    That is freaking disgusting! There's nothing worse than you two trying to corrupt a naive 25 year old with deep rooted problems. The two of you should get together and ride the Hershey Highway.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Aug 25, 2015 1:10 PM GMT
    Compaq said
    GAMRican said
    HottJoe saidStart with rimming, and if that floats your boat, you're halfway there!icon_lol.gif


    Yeah. Learn how to work an ass like a master. If you dig tearing into a couple of mellons with your tongue and fingers, you'll be itching to snake a drain before you know it.


    That is freaking disgusting! There's nothing worse than you two trying to corrupt a naive 25 year old with deep rooted problems. The two of you should get together and ride the Hershey Highway.

    Sounds like you're the one with issues here. I'd suggest abstinence for you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 25, 2015 1:16 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    Compaq said
    GAMRican said
    HottJoe saidStart with rimming, and if that floats your boat, you're halfway there!icon_lol.gif


    Yeah. Learn how to work an ass like a master. If you dig tearing into a couple of mellons with your tongue and fingers, you'll be itching to snake a drain before you know it.


    That is freaking disgusting! There's nothing worse than you two trying to corrupt a naive 25 year old with deep rooted problems. The two of you should get together and ride the Hershey Highway.

    Sounds like you're the one with issues here. I'd suggest abstinence for you.


    It's not me with issues. You've been jaded since you were a teen. Sad. Keep smoking the weed and become even more apathetic. Your definitions of abstinence and sex appear to be warped.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Aug 25, 2015 2:13 PM GMT
    Compaq said
    HottJoe said
    Compaq said
    GAMRican said
    HottJoe saidStart with rimming, and if that floats your boat, you're halfway there!icon_lol.gif


    Yeah. Learn how to work an ass like a master. If you dig tearing into a couple of mellons with your tongue and fingers, you'll be itching to snake a drain before you know it.


    That is freaking disgusting! There's nothing worse than you two trying to corrupt a naive 25 year old with deep rooted problems. The two of you should get together and ride the Hershey Highway.

    Sounds like you're the one with issues here. I'd suggest abstinence for you.


    It's not me with issues. You've been jaded since you were a teen. Sad. Keep smoking the weed and become even more apathetic. Your definitions of abstinence and sex appear to be warped.

    I've been in a monogamous relationship for over eleven years. I'm really not jaded at all. I did come out as a teenager and I had a boyfriend in high school, more than one, actually.

    Why are you so bitter?

    The fact is, rimming is normal part of gay sex for many couples. You have serious issues.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 25, 2015 3:29 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    Compaq said
    HottJoe said
    Compaq said
    GAMRican said
    HottJoe saidStart with rimming, and if that floats your boat, you're halfway there!icon_lol.gif


    Yeah. Learn how to work an ass like a master. If you dig tearing into a couple of mellons with your tongue and fingers, you'll be itching to snake a drain before you know it.


    That is freaking disgusting! There's nothing worse than you two trying to corrupt a naive 25 year old with deep rooted problems. The two of you should get together and ride the Hershey Highway.

    Sounds like you're the one with issues here. I'd suggest abstinence for you.


    It's not me with issues. You've been jaded since you were a teen. Sad. Keep smoking the weed and become even more apathetic. Your definitions of abstinence and sex appear to be warped.

    I've been in a monogamous relationship for over eleven years. I'm really not jaded at all. I did come out as a teenager and I had a boyfriend in high school, more than one, actually.

    Why are you so bitter?

    The fact is, rimming is normal part of gay sex for many couples. You have serious issues.


    That's where you're wrong and that's why you're jaded. I'm not bitter and I don't have issues. You should stop stereotyping what gay couples do and what you and the porn industry consider normal, and also what straight people think of gay guys. It's not always flattering. Being a sub into anuses, feces, and weed isn't the healthiest environment to be living in for someone like yourself who claims to live a healthy lifestyle. Have a little class when dealing with younger people like the OP.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Aug 25, 2015 3:57 PM GMT
    Compaq said
    HottJoe said
    Compaq said
    HottJoe said
    Compaq said
    GAMRican said
    HottJoe saidStart with rimming, and if that floats your boat, you're halfway there!icon_lol.gif


    Yeah. Learn how to work an ass like a master. If you dig tearing into a couple of mellons with your tongue and fingers, you'll be itching to snake a drain before you know it.


    That is freaking disgusting! There's nothing worse than you two trying to corrupt a naive 25 year old with deep rooted problems. The two of you should get together and ride the Hershey Highway.

    Sounds like you're the one with issues here. I'd suggest abstinence for you.


    It's not me with issues. You've been jaded since you were a teen. Sad. Keep smoking the weed and become even more apathetic. Your definitions of abstinence and sex appear to be warped.

    I've been in a monogamous relationship for over eleven years. I'm really not jaded at all. I did come out as a teenager and I had a boyfriend in high school, more than one, actually.

    Why are you so bitter?

    The fact is, rimming is normal part of gay sex for many couples. You have serious issues.


    That's where you're wrong and that's why you're jaded. I'm not bitter and I don't have issues. You should stop stereotyping what gay couples do and what you and the porn industry consider normal, and also what straight people think of gay guys. It's not always flattering. Being a sub into anuses, feces, and weed isn't the healthiest environment to be living in for someone like yourself who claims to live a healthy lifestyle. Have a little class when dealing with younger people like the OP.

    Your obsession with equating gay men with feces is nothing short homophobia. You sound like hate preacher. Also, you're insulting my husband. He's usually the top, after all.

    The OP is 25. If he's not mature enough to hear all sides of the story then there's something wrong with him, but that's the assumption you're making. I figure he can handle it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 25, 2015 5:20 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    Compaq said
    HottJoe said
    Compaq said
    HottJoe said
    Compaq said
    GAMRican said
    HottJoe saidStart with rimming, and if that floats your boat, you're halfway there!icon_lol.gif


    Yeah. Learn how to work an ass like a master. If you dig tearing into a couple of mellons with your tongue and fingers, you'll be itching to snake a drain before you know it.


    That is freaking disgusting! There's nothing worse than you two trying to corrupt a naive 25 year old with deep rooted problems. The two of you should get together and ride the Hershey Highway.

    Sounds like you're the one with issues here. I'd suggest abstinence for you.


    It's not me with issues. You've been jaded since you were a teen. Sad. Keep smoking the weed and become even more apathetic. Your definitions of abstinence and sex appear to be warped.

    I've been in a monogamous relationship for over eleven years. I'm really not jaded at all. I did come out as a teenager and I had a boyfriend in high school, more than one, actually.

    Why are you so bitter?

    The fact is, rimming is normal part of gay sex for many couples. You have serious issues.


    That's where you're wrong and that's why you're jaded. I'm not bitter and I don't have issues. You should stop stereotyping what gay couples do and what you and the porn industry consider normal, and also what straight people think of gay guys. It's not always flattering. Being a sub into anuses, feces, and weed isn't the healthiest environment to be living in for someone like yourself who claims to live a healthy lifestyle. Have a little class when dealing with younger people like the OP.

    Your obsession with equating gay men with feces is nothing short homophobia. You sound like hate preacher. Also, you're insulting my husband. He's usually the top, after all.

    The OP is 25. If he's not mature enough to hear all sides of the story then there's something wrong with him, but that's the assumption you're making. I figure he can handle it.


    I'm not equating gay men with feces, you are. You're the one trying to say that's what gay men do. That's homophobic and stereotyping. Your husband is a hung, dom, masc top for you, I'm sure he can take the heat. It's not rocket science that rimming is not a healthy practice for any person, gay or straight. You probably wouldn't tongue your toilet water after you flushed it and that's cleaner.icon_lol.gif

    What's most important is to find out why the OP, whose insides are wrecked, feels he has to be a top by default. It sounds mechanical and subhuman.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Aug 25, 2015 5:40 PM GMT
    Compaq said
    HottJoe said
    Compaq said
    HottJoe said
    Compaq said
    HottJoe said
    Compaq said
    GAMRican said
    HottJoe saidStart with rimming, and if that floats your boat, you're halfway there!icon_lol.gif


    Yeah. Learn how to work an ass like a master. If you dig tearing into a couple of mellons with your tongue and fingers, you'll be itching to snake a drain before you know it.


    That is freaking disgusting! There's nothing worse than you two trying to corrupt a naive 25 year old with deep rooted problems. The two of you should get together and ride the Hershey Highway.

    Sounds like you're the one with issues here. I'd suggest abstinence for you.


    It's not me with issues. You've been jaded since you were a teen. Sad. Keep smoking the weed and become even more apathetic. Your definitions of abstinence and sex appear to be warped.

    I've been in a monogamous relationship for over eleven years. I'm really not jaded at all. I did come out as a teenager and I had a boyfriend in high school, more than one, actually.

    Why are you so bitter?

    The fact is, rimming is normal part of gay sex for many couples. You have serious issues.


    That's where you're wrong and that's why you're jaded. I'm not bitter and I don't have issues. You should stop stereotyping what gay couples do and what you and the porn industry consider normal, and also what straight people think of gay guys. It's not always flattering. Being a sub into anuses, feces, and weed isn't the healthiest environment to be living in for someone like yourself who claims to live a healthy lifestyle. Have a little class when dealing with younger people like the OP.

    Your obsession with equating gay men with feces is nothing short homophobia. You sound like hate preacher. Also, you're insulting my husband. He's usually the top, after all.

    The OP is 25. If he's not mature enough to hear all sides of the story then there's something wrong with him, but that's the assumption you're making. I figure he can handle it.


    I'm not equating gay men with feces, you are. You're the one trying to say that's what gay men do. That's homophobic and stereotyping. Your husband is a hung, dom, masc top for you, I'm sure he can take the heat. It's not rocket science that rimming is not a healthy practice for any person, gay or straight. You probably wouldn't tongue your toilet water after you flushed it and that's cleaner.icon_lol.gif

    What's most important is to find out why the OP, whose insides are wrecked, feels he has to be a top by default. It sounds mechanical and subhuman.

    Homophobes say that EVERYTHING gay men do is unhealthy. You're just fixating on rimming.

    I know not all gay men are into anal sex and/or rimming, but it's very common in the bedroom, and not just for gay people.

    If you don't like, don't do it. But nothing you say will stop gay men from doing what they do. All you can do is attempt to pointlessly shame them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 26, 2015 12:03 AM GMT
    HottJoe said
    Compaq said
    GAMRican said
    HottJoe saidStart with rimming, and if that floats your boat, you're halfway there!icon_lol.gif


    Yeah. Learn how to work an ass like a master. If you dig tearing into a couple of mellons with your tongue and fingers, you'll be itching to snake a drain before you know it.


    That is freaking disgusting! There's nothing worse than you two trying to corrupt a naive 25 year old with deep rooted problems. The two of you should get together and ride the Hershey Highway.

    Sounds like you're the one with issues here. I'd suggest abstinence for you.


    Le Sigh. To "work the Hershey Highway" with HottJoe...I have the strangest boner right now and feel like I have even moar to fap too.

    @Joe - How you doin? icon_wink.gif