Will Gay men embrace monogamy more

  • Matthew56

    Posts: 394

    Aug 27, 2015 12:00 AM GMT
    Will gay men ever become more relationship orientated and focused on monogamy than promiscuity which has become a stereotype. It seems that promiscuity is more appealing to gay men than being with a life long partner and will be like this for the foreseeable future
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    Aug 27, 2015 12:19 AM GMT
    Im lost.

    What exactly would bring on
    this embracing of monogamy?

    You asked will gay men embrace monogamy more
    but why would we suddenly start?
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    Aug 27, 2015 12:22 AM GMT
    Matthew56 saidWill gay men ever become more relationship orientated and focused on monogamy


    Monogamous relationships are only an option. Open and poly relationships are relationships too.
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    Aug 27, 2015 12:23 AM GMT
    CODY4U said
    Matthew56 saidWill gay men ever become more relationship orientated and focused on monogamy


    Monogamous relationships are only an option. Open and poly relationships are relationships too.


    icon_idea.gif
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    Aug 27, 2015 12:28 AM GMT
    CODY4U said
    Matthew56 saidWill gay men ever become more relationship orientated and focused on monogamy


    Monogamous relationships are only an option. Open and poly relationships are relationships too.
    +1
    I've got two guys I see back home in Miami. For now I've been in Nor Cal since April and haven't had a "hookup" since I've been here...not that I'm being "faithful" to them, but I'm just spoiled cause they're both great, in and out of bed.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Aug 27, 2015 12:35 AM GMT
    It seems like the majority of single guys here want monogamy but at the same time make sweeping generalizations about how gay men are incapable of monogamy.

    It's like those threads where in post after post guys complain that they can't find masc men like themselves.

    How can they think masc guys and/or monogamy are unusual when these same sentiments are constantly being echoed and reaffirmed by nearly everyone?
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    Aug 27, 2015 12:37 AM GMT
    http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/promiscuous
    1: composed of all sorts of persons or things
    2: not restricted to one class, sort, or person : indiscriminate
    3: not restricted to one sexual partner
    4: forbidden by God and unworthy of Gay Marriage


    Changing a human construct does not change human nature.


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    Aug 27, 2015 12:57 AM GMT
    Matthew56 saidWill gay men ever become more relationship orientated and focused on monogamy...
    yes, those just out of the closet will agree their relationships will be more focused on monogamy. Gay men growing up in a significantly more accepting household environment will loose the word gay and find their place as someone higher up on the kinsey scale.


    Anyone older will hang on to their beliefs
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    Aug 27, 2015 1:35 AM GMT
    Right, just like how str8 people are waiting for their elder populations to die off too so they can metamorphose out of their "cheating" cocoons and into their chastity belts. Oh, wait, no, they don't have to play catch up, do they? Outside of possibly upping our numbers because we are all gay men, duh, unconstrained by unprogressive Victorian mindset horseshit--why the fuck would it be any different for gay relations?

    Do you people ever tire of your self berating? Get a fucking grip.

    I get how some of you think it must be easier to change the world than to change yourself, but we have no intention to change who we are naturally to accommodate your judgmentalism (which I know some of you confuse for pride-it ain't), your sexual frustrations, your racial disgruntlements.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Open_marriage_incidence
    researchers have estimated that between 1.7 percent and 6 percent of married people are involved in open marriages. The incidence of open marriage has remained relatively stable over the last two generations.

    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21667234
    This study aimed to assess...sexual infidelity in heterosexual couples...Almost one-quarter of men (23.2%) and 19.2% of women indicated that they had "cheated" during their current relationship

    So by extension, you're arguing that just as soon as 1/4 of all the heterosexuals plus another 6% of all the heterosexuals die off, only then can you enjoy your monogatopia. It's megamoronomonogamous!
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    Aug 27, 2015 10:29 AM GMT
    Being 'relationship focussed' is not the same as being 'monogamous'. My partner and I have been together for seven years, married for five. We have chosen to have an open relationship specifically to ensure the sustainability of our relationship. Frankly we do not consider sexual fidelity to be crucial to any relationship; rather trust and honesty are what we strive to achieve and preserve.

    By all means pursue monogamy if that suits you, but try not to buy in to the false dichotomy you establish in your post.
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    Aug 27, 2015 2:12 PM GMT
    pellaz saidthose just out of the closet will agree their relationships will be more focused on monogamy. Gay men growing up in a significantly more accepting household environment will loose the word gay and find their place as someone higher up on the kinsey scale.



    Anyone older will hang on to their beliefs:

    for those hangers in your 30's
    your starting to think a husband can enable you to personally do a lot more. Keep it simple. Become aware of what you need & do not need in your life. Have him bring different things to the table.

    if your 40-50
    if you have been with the same guy for a while you need to start thinking marriage. Good or bad; divorce is less of an option for couples that have been together for > 3 years. By than your already have common law status going anyways. At some point here the Peter Pan thinking will have been lost and you will see your ending.

    if your 60
    The young can ignore their future but marriage has its benefits as you approach retirement; for federal tax capital gains and social security. Around this time your parents will be passing away and life will change a lot so the emotional support is super nice.
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1767

    Aug 27, 2015 3:28 PM GMT
    Yeah straight people are always so monogamous

    ...

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    Aug 27, 2015 3:34 PM GMT
    No
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    Aug 27, 2015 3:53 PM GMT
    Buddha saidYeah straight people are always so monogamous ...
    honey; we are talking about the high end of the kinsey scale not the low end.
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    Aug 27, 2015 4:42 PM GMT
    Why be monogomous, when you can be flirtatious? This seems to be a trend on most 'Chat-Site's'. Guys are too afraid to grow old with one person and become afraid of rejection instead. A 'monogomous relationship', eventually becomes an 'open relationship'. Why buy meat at the supermarket and stick with one juicy steak, when you can shop online for more?
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    Aug 27, 2015 4:59 PM GMT
    all good
    lots of advice from the single members here

  • Aug 27, 2015 5:46 PM GMT
    Monogamy should be the goal, but just like our straight counterparts are always yearning for someone we know we can't have or someone who possesses a quality our current partner doesn't possess.

    Monogamy isn't for everyone but there are people out there with a monogamous relationship as their primary goal.

    xoxo
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    Aug 27, 2015 5:49 PM GMT
    It might if it changes the values and goals of gay men in general. The push for gay marriage was really more about symbolism than actually participating in marriage, but there is obviously a yearning for the non-monetary benefits that come with monogamous marriage. But as illustrated above gay men as a whole haven't decided whether they also want to make the sacrifices that are necessary to be full participants in marriage. If there is to be a true change it will probably happen at the earliest when the generation born after the legalization of gay marriage reaches adulthood. For the immediate future it will be business as usual.
  • FitBlackCuddl...

    Posts: 803

    Aug 27, 2015 11:15 PM GMT
    del_rio saidIm lost.

    What exactly would bring on
    this embracing of monogamy?

    You asked will gay men embrace monogamy more
    but why would we suddenly start?



    Maybe having an epiphany in the midst of yet another episode of empty "mutual using of bodies" sex that there may be more to (gay) Life and living than this.
  • FitBlackCuddl...

    Posts: 803

    Aug 27, 2015 11:18 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidIt seems like the majority of single guys here want monogamy but at the same time make sweeping generalizations about how gay men are incapable of monogamy.

    It's like those threads where in post after post guys complain that they can't find masc men like themselves.

    How can they think masc guys and/or monogamy are unusual when these same sentiments are constantly being echoed and reaffirmed by nearly everyone?


    Perhaps there is a penchant to "talk the talk" but no "walking the walk".
  • FitBlackCuddl...

    Posts: 803

    Aug 27, 2015 11:23 PM GMT
    theantijock saidhttp://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/promiscuous
    1: composed of all sorts of persons or things
    2: not restricted to one class, sort, or person : indiscriminate
    3: not restricted to one sexual partner
    4: forbidden by God and unworthy of Gay Marriage


    Changing a human construct does not change human nature.




    If it was human nature to be promiscuous, there would be no need for this discussion. But then, having multiple partners is not so much the issue...is the sheer fixation on appearances and outside trappings while seeming to take no time to investigate the heart or the man inside the body.
  • FitBlackCuddl...

    Posts: 803

    Aug 27, 2015 11:27 PM GMT
    roddenshaw saidBeing 'relationship focussed' is not the same as being 'monogamous'. My partner and I have been together for seven years, married for five. We have chosen to have an open relationship specifically to ensure the sustainability of our relationship. Frankly we do not consider sexual fidelity to be crucial to any relationship; rather trust and honesty are what we strive to achieve and preserve.

    By all means pursue monogamy if that suits you, but try not to buy in to the false dichotomy you establish in your post.


    Both of you are HIV+--yes? If not, then perhaps both of you PRESUME that all of the sex-partners each will have *ARE*. Despite the "med cocktails", I imagine having HIV STILL means some diminishment in quality of life.
  • FitBlackCuddl...

    Posts: 803

    Aug 27, 2015 11:30 PM GMT
    Domino_dancer saidWhy be monogomous, when you can be flirtatious? This seems to be a trend on most 'Chat-Site's'. Guys are too afraid to grow old with one person and become afraid of rejection instead. A 'monogomous relationship', eventually becomes an 'open relationship'. Why buy meat at the supermarket and stick with one juicy steak, when you can shop online for more?


    Because it is JUST meat. Meat that everyone else has had along with you...meds, shots and all.
  • Oceans_of_Flo...

    Posts: 393

    Aug 28, 2015 1:03 AM GMT

    Yes, we will. Gay men have been edged to the fringe of society and as things changed, we remained fringed in our own minds. However, time heals all wounds and we're beginning to realize we are more than dimly lit sex halls and cabaret bars. We are emotional beings that deserve emotional happiness. As the awareness that the world has risen up to meet us, we will show up to greet it with equal aplomb.
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    Aug 28, 2015 4:24 AM GMT
    Masculinity? No thanks! I'm totally fem and lovin' it!

    But to answer the question: I hope that one day gay men will be known for being monogamous and valuing having a husband, rather than a string of lovers and who has the biggest D.