Sorry for the novel in advance...but this made me really think about the result of isolation and the lack of caring within the gay community in 2015:
In NO WAY am I defending what happened, but it seems as if people are searching for answers...I think I can add a few things. It's a great time to be gay - if you have money, graduate degrees, have a perfect body, are under 30 and live in a highly populated gay city. But that's a single digit percentage of gay men who get to have that luxury. The rest of us - marriage?! - yeah right! Most of us haven't even MET anyone in over ten years. What urban folks call progress the rest of us call going back to hiding in our basements with our devices, desperately trying to meet somoene that we haven't seen over and over and over again since it's always the same 10 people and thanks to location based technology you can't jump over to another city and try your luck in a different chat room. Not to mention most of us can't afford to leave the towns we are in, or we are obligated to care for our aging parents. It's not as easy to 'pick up and move' as you think.
The root cause of this is a feeling of being ripped off. We came out under the guise of 'no more lies; living my truth and surrounding myself with like minded people'. This sounds great in theory, but once you arrive to the big gay city without the money, $1000 suits, half a million dollar lofts, brand new cars, etc - you might as well not even exist. These guys won't even look in your direction unless YOU have something for them. This is very painful for gay men who gave up a lot to come out: many have lost their families over this; their friends have abandoned them and returning to their hometowns is no longer an option. When they arrive to the big city and are treated even worse by this community called gay men, despair sets in. I personally don't give a crap about gay marriage. I've yet to see a substantial number of gay relationships that last longer than 6-18 months. I care about gay men who are alone and on the brink of homelessness, or addicts, or who are very, very lost and angry. My guess is this man, despite how evil his actions were, was one of these men. We are gay - but we are still men - that hot button that is rejection shows up as sheer pain in our eyes and on our faces. It's humiliating and it's the reason why our community is drowning in alcohol and opiate addiction. But nobody at these fancy gay magazines wants to talk about gay men living on the streets or stealing to get their next percocet. And with this new generation of young gay men being the first who never knew life before digital devices and texts, it's going to get much worse because we will soon have a whole society that can't even keep up a conversation with another person because they've never had to develop any social skills. And the bottom line is...most gay men don't care if other gay men live or die. There is NO community in 2015. It's every man for himself.